We are the hardest on ourselves. We often need reminders to treat ourselves with the same kindness and compassion we extend to others.
Mixing this with negative traits like insecurities and lack of confidence, you may feel highly critical of yourself and consider yourself unattractive. Amidst all the negativity swirling in your head, you may find it impossible to differentiate between your perspective and the truth.
Are you really as unattractive as you feel? What makes a woman unattractive?
Despite being aware of the importance of self-love and the need to avoid negative self-talk, you may still feel unattractive. The more you try to avoid it, the more this thought haunts you. This will make you wonder, “Is there any truth in it?”
You may have overheard nasty comments about you. That your dress sense is poor, you’re clumsy and your personal hygiene is wanting. You have been unsuccessful on the relationship front, unable to find a date. Every time you catch your reflection in the washroom mirror or a store window, you feel convinced about it. Still, you may want to hold on to the hope, thinking, “Am I that bad looking?”
If you want to settle this issue once and for all and figure out whether you are an unattractive woman or not, read on. This article lists clear signs you are an unattractive woman. All you need to do is look out for these signs of unattractive women in you.
A word of warning before going ahead with the signs. Detecting one or two of these signs occasionally doesn’t make you an unattractive woman. To count them as signs of unattractiveness, they need to be consistent and you should spot a substantial number of them.
How to ascertain you are an unattractive woman?
Most of us are guilty of forming ideals in our minds as to what constitutes beauty. While some may consider the model on the centerspread of the glossy magazine as the benchmark of beauty, some others may idolize actors, sportspersons, or even the diva at the office.
When you look at your image, you unconsciously compare yourself with your benchmark for beauty. Naturally, you come nowhere close to them, as you lack in so many areas. This makes you conclude that you are unattractive.
If you really think about it, it is unfair of you to compare yourself with some of the world’s most beautiful women. Even if you cannot compete with them, you may still be beautiful in your own way. The trouble is how to find out the truth.
Checking out the signs of unattractive women is a better way of arriving at the truth. When you discover the truth, you can always decide what to do and how to deal with it.
Let’s get started on the signs you are an unattractive woman.
1. You feel uncomfortable being yourself
If you are relaxed and confident, you would be comfortable in your own skin. When you are not feeling this way, it is an indication that something is off in your life. You may be unhappy about your facial attractiveness, physical appearance, or some other aspect of yourself. You may not consider yourself attractive enough.
Whenever you go out and meet people, you feel on display and judged. This can make you uncomfortable because you feel unattractive in your own eyes. The best way to overcome this feeling is to turn your focus to your unique abilities and qualities and ignore the traits that you consider as your flaws.
You can always amp up your attractiveness quotient with a few good clothes and a good skincare routine.
2. You’re averse to attention
You feel shy and uncomfortable when the spotlight is on you. You feel that you aren’t attractive enough to warrant that kind of attention and feel embarrassed about it. When you consider yourself unappealing, you don’t expect others to find you attractive. All these make you feel inadequate.
Attractiveness may not be just about facial attractiveness or physical appearance. It can also relate to your skill or abilities. Any deficiency in yourself can make you feel inferior, vulnerable, and open to criticism. Because of this, you may want to avoid the limelight.
It’s not wrong of you to stay away from the public eye as such. It’s wrong only when you do it for the wrong reasons. Such as feeling inadequate and disappointed. If this is the case, you need to work on yourself and improve your relationship with yourself.
3. You’re submissive
When you consider yourself a good looking girl and feel good about yourself, it will show up in your behavior. You will be secure, confident, and assertive. You will experience no trouble in speaking your mind. On the other hand, when you feel unattractive, you may find it difficult to express yourself. You will lie low and submit to the wishes of others.
When you have a low opinion of yourself, you may seek the approval of others. You will prioritize the needs and wishes of others above yours and turn into a people pleaser. If you act this way, it is time you focus on improving your self-esteem. You should learn to value yourself.
4. You’re always saying sorry
Some of us forget the context for an apology. It is when you say or do something wrong that you should apologize. If you find yourself saying sorry outside this context, it is a sign of a lack of confidence and self-respect.
You know that you haven’t done anything wrong. But you still apologize. You may do this to calm down or mollify the other person. Taking such a step will make you a weak person with no confidence or self-respect. This is an unappealing quality to have.
There is no harm in owning up to your mistakes and saying sorry. If you apologize without a valid reason, you are causing damage to your image and reputation. No wonder you feel unattractive.
5. You consider yourself undesirable
When you look around you and see your friends, you find them extroverted and easy-going. On the other hand, all you want to do is to run away and hide. You feel the most comfortable when you are alone. When you are forced to be in a group setting, your only wish is to be invisible.
When you see your friends effortlessly mingling with others, you feel envious. When you come across couples kissing or holding hands, you boil over with jealousy. You feel that you are the only one without a friend or a partner. You will attribute this to the fact that you are unattractive and undesirable.
6. You don’t feel sexually confident
Sexual confidence relates to feeling confident in your own skin, knowing and accepting that you deserve to experience sexual pleasure, and expressing your wishes and needs to your partner. It also involves paying attention to the needs of your partner.
You may not feel sexually confident because you lack in all the aspects mentioned above. You may be apprehensive about your facial attractiveness or physical appearance, you may consider sex taboo, or you feel shy or unable to express your sexual desires to your partner. All these can happen when you feel unattractive.
You may be worried whether you are doing things right and you are living up to the expectations of your partner. When you worry about pleasing your partner or when you compare yourself with others, you are focusing on your shortcomings.
7. You constantly compare yourself with others
Comparison is fair only when two equal people are involved. In this world, finding two people who are equal in all respects is impossible. While one person is better at one thing, they would be average at something else. The other person may be just the opposite. That means comparison is unfair.
While some have perfect bodies and extroverted character that is admired by everyone, you may not have either of these. Others can make things worse for you by pointing out your flaws – poor dress sense and incorrect skincare routine.
None of this makes you unattractive. You may have other traits to make up for this. You may be kind, compassionate, and generous.
Stop comparing yourself with others. Just focus on your positive traits. Celebrate your unique personality and bask in your accomplishments. Your confidence will soar sky-high in no time.
8. You disappear whenever someone takes photos
You somehow manage to remain in the background until someone starts taking pictures. You feel that your being in the picture will spoil it for others. You have made up your mind that you won’t look good in them. You consider yourself unattractive. So, you believe that others will think the same of you.
When these kinds of thoughts get too overpowering, you may start avoiding people and parties. You will turn down invitations, cooking up stories to serve your purpose. Before you condemn yourself to a secluded life, look around yourself.
Are all those taking the center stage very attractive? You will surely find people worse than you being the life of parties, entertaining others with their wit and charm. Facial attractiveness forms only one aspect of your character. Even if you are low on facial attractiveness or unattractive in physical appearance, you can compensate for it with the rest of your personality.
9. You’re skeptical about your facial attractiveness
When your beauty standards are quite high, you may be too critical of your facial attractiveness. You would find yourself comparing your looks with those you think are beautiful. You always find yourself lacking and feel inferior to them.
The advent of social media is only making things worse for insecure people. You need to remember that not everyone can look like a model or a star. Comparison is unfair when the platform is not equal. And, all human beings can never have the same attributes. While some are bestowed with good looks, others get the gift of brains or are kind-hearted.
Figure out your good aspects and focus on them instead of getting fixated on your flaws.
10. You feel insecure in group settings
When you get invited to a party, you turn it down because it makes you feel anxious and apprehensive. You feel as if every pair of eyes is boring into you and judging you. You may or may not have solid evidence to back it up but still feel this way. This feeling makes you run away from social gatherings.
You feel afraid of being mocked or derided and rejected by others. In your heart of hearts, you feel unattractive and you firmly believe that others feel the same about you. Your confidence level would be at rock bottom because of this.
Instead of running away from such situations, why not give it a chance? See how people actually react to you. You may have to gather all your positive energy to go through it the first time. But if you persist, things will ease up. You might even take a liking to it.
11. You wear only muted tones
This is a subtle sign that usually escapes our eyes. The colors we wear are a clear indication of our mood and character. If you consciously avoid bright and vibrant colors and always wear only black and pastel shades, it is a clear sign of how you perceive yourself. You consider yourself unattractive and don’t want to draw attention to yourself with vibrant color choices.
When you are feeling low and unappealing, your obvious color choice would be gloomy and dark. It’s not just about the colors. You would choose the most unglamorous attire you can lay your hands on.
Not feeling like a ray of sunshine is natural occasionally. But if your entire wardrobe consists of unfashionable clothes in melancholic colors, it is a sign that you lack confidence.
12. You’ve given up on your hobbies
You’re no longer interested in anything or excited about any activity. When someone asks you what you enjoy doing the most, you fail to come up with an answer even after thinking long about it. That is some serious trouble you are in.
You’re clearly not feeling on top of the world. When you are not feeling great, you may want to withdraw into a corner far away from others and spend your time moping about how unfair life is.
The more you brood, the more you withdraw into a shell. The more you stay away from things you love, the more you feel bad about yourself. This vicious cycle is hard to escape unless you consciously decide to change the status quo.
13. You constantly seek validation
Seeking validation is a normal human tendency to fit in. We want to be loved and accepted by others. We want others to consider us intelligent and attractive. It’s like confirming our perspective about ourselves.
However, seeking validation all the time is quite different. This is the opposite of this scenario. You may seek validation all the time when you aren’t sure about yourself or you consider yourself inferior but want others to bust your myth. You must be feeling low and insecure to always seek validation.
The insecurity can be about your facial attractiveness, physical appearance, or your abilities. You may think that you are unattractive but want reassurance from others that this is not the case. Taking steps to boost your confidence is the only remedy for this malady.
14. You try to keep your flaws under wraps
We are all human and come with a host of imperfections. The flaw may be in our facial attractiveness, physical appearance, or something in our character. The set of flaws in one person is not the same as that in another. This is what makes us unique. There is no need to feel ashamed about it.
No one is faulting you for wanting to change or improve certain things about yourself. You may want to look thinner, more beautiful, friendlier, or more compassionate. No harm in wishing for a change. The trouble pops up when you feel embarrassed about it and try to hide it.
When you start hiding things about yourself, you’re trying to present a fake picture of yourself to the outside world. Clearly, you aren’t comfortable with who you are. Your self-worth is low.
Instead of hiding your shortcomings, focus your energy on embracing yourself with all your imperfections. This will make you look attractive to others.
15. You’re unsure of your decisions
If you consider yourself plain or even disagreeable, your confidence level may plummet to unseen depths. Then every decision-making process will become a monumental task, not knowing what is right and what is wrong. You may begin to second-guess yourself.
Second-guessing oneself is a form of anxiety, insecurity, and low confidence which makes you reconsider your decisions because you aren’t sure they were right in the first place. The presence of a host of negative traits in your mental space will trigger the brain to search for reassurance from others as a way to compensate for your low confidence level.
This is a self-defeating move on your part as you are holding back your ideas, thoughts, and feelings. Confidence-building exercises can help you overcome this affliction.
16. You’ve always considered yourself ugly and uncouth
You thought this way about yourself for as long as you can remember. When you compare yourself with your peers, you know you are unattractive. You know what you’re seeing. After all, you aren’t blind. You always wanted to look better, more beautiful, and more attractive. You tried your best. But here you are looking as dowdy as ever.
You may not be sure about many things in life. But something you know for a fact is that you are no looker or head-turner. You have read self-help books and attended therapy to get over this mental block but to no avail. This is one of your saddest secrets that you try to keep under wraps.
However, the story doesn’t end there. Though you manage to keep this secret hidden, it will rear its ugly head in your life in many ways. The simple truth is this – unless you learn to embrace yourself for who you are, others are not going to accept you as such. If you remain adamant that you’re unattractive and no one will like you, it may come true.
Final thoughts on an unattractive woman
If you can spot most of these signs of unattractive women in you, you are in dire need of a complete makeover. By makeover, the idea is not to transform your facial attractiveness or physical appearance or revamp your wardrobe. You don’t need to change your looks even a little bit. The purpose of makeovers is to change your mindset. Maybe you can consider improving your personal hygiene if you’re lacking there.
When you consider yourself unattractive, you are losing sight of all the good qualities in you. You should train your mind on focusing on the positives and ignore the negatives. There is no guarantee that your life will be smooth sailing all the way. When you come up against roadblocks, you should have the confidence and willpower to find your way forward. This is the kind of attitude you should develop.
Beauty, they say, is in the eyes of the beholder. So, don’t bother wasting your time forming opinions about your own beauty. Leave it to others.