A relationship is like a house- it needs a strong foundation in order to withstand the tests of time. And the best way to build that foundation is by asking questions for a new relationship.
Questions help to assess the compatibility of two people and can help to determine whether or not a relationship is worth pursuing. By asking these questions, both partners can get to know each other on a deeper level and can work towards building a lasting relationship.
In this blog post, we will be discussing 21 questions that can help to build a strong foundation for a new relationship. These questions are designed to help you get to know your partner better and can help you determine if they are right for you. So without further ado, let’s get started!
1. What do you enjoy the most?
You may add “on a rainy day” or “when there is a blackout” to eliminate all outdoor or gadget-related activities.
From the answer to this question, you will gain insight into the real passions, interests, and hobbies of your partner. This will also help you know about your common interests and gauge your compatibility.
2. What is your favorite vacation destination?
Most of us are compelled by circumstances to do certain things in life. But when it comes to taking time off from work and relaxing, we would invariably prefer to do what we like the most. That is why this question about your favorite holiday spot is important. The answer can reveal so much about the person. In fact, much more than hours and hours of usual talk.
3. What is topmost on your bucket list?
This is a fun question, and at the same time, it will help in revealing a lot about the personality of your partner. If they haven’t yet formed a bucket list, you can create one together. This activity is bound to strengthen the relationship, giving it a sense of togetherness and purpose.
4. Who is your favorite singer/actor?
This is an open-ended question that can set the ball rolling for the relationship. As this is a not-too-personal question, your partner will open up even if they are an introvert. Without them knowing or you even realizing, you are learning a lot about the person through their preferences.
5. Do you sing? Or have any other artistic abilities?
You will be surprised by the artistic talents of your partner at a later stage if you don’t specifically ask this question. In the initial rush of excitement of the relationship, this aspect of your partner will remain undisclosed.
And, when you think you know everything about the person, it will come out in the most unexpected way. You may not want this to happen.
6. What is your take on friendship?
Do they value friendship? How many friends do they have? And for how long? These are vital facts that reveal a person’s real personality. As the question is not very intrusive or perceived as threatening, you should get an answer without too much effort.
7. When was the last time you cried? Why?
This is a very personal question that can make your partner uncomfortable if they are introverted and you have known them for a very short time. However, if you can get an answer to this question, it reveals a lot about the person and the future of your relationship.
8. Are you close to your parents and siblings?
It’s important to know about the relationship your partner shares with their parents. Though this may seem irrelevant now, at some later date, this is going to affect you. In which way, it is hard to predict.
After the initial euphoria calms down and you settle into the relationship, you will find parallels between the various relationships your partner has with people in their life. Your relationship is also bound to follow the same path.
9. Who are you most attached to in your family?
Whose death would you find it hard to accept? This relationship question may include people who are no longer amongst us. When you ask someone about the person they miss the most, you are prying open their minds and allowing emotions to come out. Maybe they never had an opportunity to talk about the loss. Or about the fear of losing someone in the future.
10. What do you want to do after retirement?
This may be treated as a fun exercise or can be used to gain a sneak peek into the mind of your partner. The answer can help you know whether you are on the same page. When you are young and healthy, people rarely think that far ahead in life. If your partner hasn’t yet thought about retired life, you can use this opportunity to plan it together.
11. Are you in touch with your extended family?
This can be used to reveal the importance of family in your partner’s life. Your partner may be closer to their grandfather, grandmother, uncle, or aunt than to their parents and siblings. Your partner may be willing to say more about this special relationship and how it came out to be. This can give you a glimpse into the life of your partner before you met.
12. Do you believe in God?
This is a delicate question that can make your partner uncomfortable. It is up to you to decide at what point in the relationship is it right to ask this. Rely on your intuition in getting the timing right. You can put them at ease by volunteering your own beliefs about God. And remaining non-judgmental will prompt your partner to truthfully answer this tough question.
13. Are you interested in a committed relationship?
Or merely having a good time? A tricky and personal question that will lead to a make-or-break situation. The upside is that you will get to know where you stand in the relationship. But confronting your partner so early on in the relationship with a question of commitment can also scare them off.
Again, the response you get may also depend on how you frame the question. Your tone will matter a lot. Don’t treat it as a casual question like others. Ask this question with sincerity and you may get an honest response.
14. Do you want to have kids?
This is an important question everyone should ask before getting serious in a relationship. Having diverse views on this topic can create such deep fissures in the relationship that often, it won’t survive the conflict. It’s always ideal to know what you are getting into.
15. When did your last relationship end?
It is vital to know whether your partner is still brooding over the previous relationship. Some find it difficult to let go of their partners and their relationships for a long time. It would help you to know in advance if this is the case with your partner.
Is there an ex in the picture? It is better to address this sooner rather than later.
16. What are your views on cheating in a relationship?
This is another crucial question to tackle before the relationship turns serious. What is considered cheating may differ from person to person. It’s always better to know in advance your partner’s take on the topic.
You can use this opportunity to set the ground rules in the relationship.
17. What is your worst guilty pleasure?
Everyone indulges in at least one guilty pleasure, if not more. Taking an extra portion of the favorite dish or dessert, binge-watching the favorite show, and ordering out are some of the most common ones. Procrastination or hero-worshiping are equally common.
As they are obviously embarrassed about the whole thing, your partner may not find it easy to reveal this information if you barely know each other well.
18. How important is health to you?
This is an excellent question to ask your partner, no matter whether you are health-conscious or not. The difference in opinions on this matter can create irreconcilable conflicts in the relationship at a later stage. It’s better to know early enough if the two of you agree on this.
19. What makes life worth living for you?
This a profound question that may necessitate some thinking for your partner to answer honestly. You will get to know what they consider right and wrong and their ultimate goal in life. If you cannot agree on this or at least be able to live with each other’s choices, you would find it difficult to carry forward the relationship.
20. Do you have any regrets?
Better to know this now than later. Because if there is resentment hidden inside the depths of the mind, it can ruin your relationship. You can use this opportunity to encourage your partner to pursue what they missed out on. This can form a strong foundation for your relationship.
21. What is your definition of a healthy relationship?
This is a question every couple should discuss before it gets serious. You should compare the answer you get with your viewpoint on the topic and see if it matches at any level. Surprisingly, people can have polar opposite views on what constitutes a strong relationship.
Final Thoughts on New Relationship
Just because you have all your relationship questions ready doesn’t mean you should ask them all in one go. Be aware of the right time and mindset for each one of these intimate questions. Moreover, remember that there are no wrong answers to any of these questions. These are meant to reveal the real personality of your partner.
You may be in for surprises when you hear your partner’s answers. You may be astonished to find that you agree on some points while having diverse views on others. You need to be realistic in your expectations as no two people can agree on everything under the sun. And just because you disagree on a subject doesn’t mean you have to call off the relationship.
There is no need to get worked up about these relationship questions. This is meant to make your relationship easier and not harder. Treat the relationship as a learning process. These intimate questions will help you grow together and build a beautiful relationship.