7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact

7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact

7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact

Life with narcissists is hard; parting ways is harder.

Anyone who has experienced this traumatic event will agree. 

The relationship had turned so toxic that you had no option but to end it. Unfortunately, walking away from narcissists is not easy. They just won’t let you go. 

Despite all the resistance, you managed to wriggle free from their grip and initiated a no contact arrangement. This is another hurdle you need to overcome before you can be rid of the narcissist and their influence in your life. Again, making narcissists adhere to the arrangement is excruciatingly hard. 

The narcissist, no doubt, has narcissistic tendencies. This means they will react to the no contact rule in such extreme narcissistic rage that you will be at a loss how to deal with it if you aren’t well-prepared for the assault. 

For a narcissistic person, you are the primary source of their narcissistic supply. You are the one who unfailingly meets their constant need for attention, admiration, and validation. Without you, the narcissist will have a hard time maintaining their narcissistic needs and leading a “normal” life in the eyes of the rest of the world.

This article offers you a sneak peek into the minds of narcissists. Here you will find the things narcissists do when you go no contact. Knowing this will help you prepare well for the difficult times ahead and formulate your strategies to deal with the temper tantrums of narcissists. 

Why is it important to impose a no contact rule with narcissists?

As the name suggests, a no contact rule means no direct communication between the two individuals involved. After the breakup of a toxic relationship, a no contact period is essential for healing from the wounds and moving on in life.

The rule is simple enough to understand but the hard part lies in its implementation, especially if the breakup is happening after a long relationship. Narcissists are well-known to dominate and control their partners in such a way that they lose their ability to think on their own and make their own decisions. 

The submissive partner may not have enjoyed freedom for a long time and may have a hard time managing their life on their own, without any help from the narcissist. That is one more reason why a no contact rule is vital when breaking up with narcissists.

On the other hand, narcissists will react adversely to a no contact rule. They will use a range of coercion tactics to force you into coming back to them. From threats and narcissistic rage to manipulative, dominating, and controlling behavior. If they feel none of these are effective in making you change your mind, they don’t hesitate to beg and plead not to leave them.

You may find it hard to resist these coercion techniques as you have been under the narcissist’s influence for a long time. By enforcing a no contact rule, you can eliminate all these pressure tactics of the narcissist to make you stay back in the relationship. Still, you should be ready with your response for things narcissists do when you go no contact.

Usual things narcissists do when you go no contact

Narcissists have a hard time hearing “no” from anyone. They don’t handle silence or tolerate criticisms and restrictions well. Moreover, the no contact rule poses a strong question about their sense of superiority, which narcissists will find intimidating and an infringement of their free will. 

You may expect the worst kind of reaction to a no contact rule from narcissists. Here are some of the things narcissists do when you go no contact. 

1. Rejection and intimidation

By enforcing a no contact rule, you’re making a strong statement. “You cannot use me anymore for your needs. I can survive without you”. This is like showing a red flag to a bull.

The first reaction of narcissists to your no contact rule is to ignore it completely. They will continue to be in touch with you, the same way they were earlier. They will behave as if nothing has changed. The only thing left for you to do is to block them out from your life. But narcissists don’t handle silence well.

However, the narcissist will not admit defeat so easily. They will turn to harassment to get their way with you. You can expect them to show up at the most inappropriate places in the guise of talking to you. Such as your office, the homes of your family members or friends, or the places you frequent. Just remember that love has nothing to do with this.

2. Desperate actions

When the narcissist is convinced that denial and harassment are not having any effect on you, they will resort to frantic tactics like love-bombing and begging. The idea is to win you back at all costs. Because they are desperate for their daily fix of narcissistic supply.

When the narcissist comes pleading to you or indulges in love-bombing, don’t misinterpret it as their deep love for you. They are not in love with you but in love with the need for attention and admiration. They are missing their narcissistic supply and not you or your love.

You can expect them to stoop to unimaginable levels to make you retract your stand and come back to them. Unless you understand their motives and are ready for the assault, you may find it hard to resist their offers and promises, all nicely packaged in love. 

3. Abuse, anger, and violence

While other tactics are more emotional and psychological, narcissistic rage poses a threat to your safety and physical well-being. This is one of the primary reasons for having a no contact rule. 

The narcissist has already exhausted the easy techniques to get you back and you have stood your ground. This will enrage them and it is not desirable to be around an angry narcissist. Run for your life as far as your legs will carry you.

If you have a good support system to fall back on, it will help. You may need someone you can trust to talk to and give you the right kind of advice. You need people who love you unconditionally to stand by you and protect you in your hour of need. Think through how you are going to deal with the narcissistic rage and revenge tactics of narcissists.

4. Portraying themselves as the victim

Self-victimization is part of a narcissist’s strategy to handle your no contact rule. This is aimed at gaining sympathy for themselves. The common tactic is to fake health emergencies. Be prepared for this. The narcissist will engage in something commonly known as “narcissistic hoovering” to suck or pull you back into the toxic relationship. 

You need to remind yourself that all interactions with the narcissist are bound to be toxic. Instead of trusting whatever they are telling you, learn to question them and treat them with skepticism. All these years, the narcissist exploited your love and trusting nature and held you captive in their iron grip. This is the chance for you to break free. Don’t allow them to hold you back on any account. Stick to the no contact with all that you’ve got.

5. Manipulation, exploitation, and gaslighting

When you were together, you endured all these typical narcissistic behaviors. Even when you try to break free, the narcissist will continue the same. The only thought in the narcissist’s mind is to establish their superiority, regain control over you, and retrieve their narcissistic supply. There is no love involved in any of these.

In this endeavor, the narcissist will reverse the story and paint you as the culprit. You can expect them to weave tales of your highhanded and abusive behavior to anyone willing to listen to them. Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic aimed at making someone question their reality and create doubts in their mind. Again, the idea is to get you back into the toxic relationship.

6. Get someone to replace you

When a narcissistic person is convinced that their strategies are having no effect on you and you’re not going to come back, they won’t waste time moping around, pining for your love. Since they need their daily fill of narcissistic supply, they need to find a replacement for you fast enough. In fact, this isn’t too hard for them either. With their idealization and love-bombing tactics, they will manage to bowl over some other hapless person and get them to commit to a relationship. 

In fact, the narcissist may not even wait to confirm your disinterest before they pursue other leads. The narcissist doesn’t need time to heal for the simple reason that they were never wounded in the first place. Moreover, even if you walked out on them, narcissists will never consider this as an act of rejection because they feel superior to you. 

Narcissists use their relationships as the source of their narcissistic supply. As long as there is someone to satisfy their ego, for them, it doesn’t matter who is providing it. Moving on after a breakup is an alien concept to narcissists.

7. Retaliatory no contact

Their ego rules the roost for a narcissist. When you execute no contact with a narcissist, they take it as a sign of rejection and an attempt at asserting your authority. To minimize you and your attempt, the narcissist may exact revenge with their own no contact rule.

The narcissist will tell whoever is willing to listen that it was them who chose to break up and have a no contact arrangement. They may add details to this story to make it sound plausible. 

Final thoughts on things narcissists do when you go no contact

When you impose no contact on a narcissistic person and walk away from your relationship, you can expect the worst kind of retaliatory behavior from them. They will take out all the toxic tactics in their arsenal and come at you relentlessly. The no contact arrangement can protect you against narcissistic rage to a large extent. But the actions of the narcissist may pose a threat to this as well.

Now you know the things narcissists do when you go no contact, you should prepare yourself well before taking this step. Having a good support system can be immensely helpful for you at this juncture.

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