You may have heard about alpha males. The name itself says a lot about who they are and what to expect from them.
The aura of the alpha personality is so well-known and pronounced that women are a bit hesitant to date alpha males. A question they often ask is whether they should be concerned about the dominating nature of the alpha guy.
No doubt, alpha males are dominating. However, this only forms one aspect of their complex alpha personality traits. Dating an alpha male also comes with advantages. Ultimately it is up to each individual to weigh the pros and cons and decide what they want.
Before that, you will need to know more about alpha males, especially their characteristics and unique alpha personality traits. Read on to gather a comprehensive understanding of alpha males.
This article lists the most prominent and powerful alpha male traits. Here you will also find what to look out for when entering into a relationship with an alpha male. The article also gives you the low down on the pros and cons of dating an alpha male.
Who is called an alpha male?
This is what the APA Dictionary of Psychology says about an alpha male:
Alpha Male – “the top-ranked or dominant male within a group, with primary access to resources, including food and mates. In many species, the alpha male prevents other males from mating or from mating during the peak time of female fertility. There are alpha females as well, with primary access to resources within their social groups; in some species, they inhibit reproduction among other females.”
Alpha males are present in all species including humans. The common characteristic is their dominant nature. They use their natural tendency to control others and be in charge of the environment to gain access to the best things on offer.
Among human alpha males, this trait translates to confidence, competence, and competitiveness. This is someone who knows exactly what he wants and doesn’t take no for an answer.
Alpha male meaning in relationship translates to stability, caring, and love.
15 Salient traits of an alpha male in a relationship
Many women find the alpha male personality type attractive because of their confidence and self-assurance. What may seem interesting from a long distance may not work the same way as you expect. You may face hurdles and roadblocks in the course of the relationship.
This doesn’t mean you should not date an alpha male or consider having a serious relationship with them. The same alpha male characteristics you found attractive earlier may frustrate you if you are not aware of how best to handle them. To ensure that you are not trampled over in the relationship, you need to have a better understanding of this alpha personality type.
Armed with the right knowledge about alpha male relationship psychology, you will be in a better position to make the most of the relationship.
1. He is affectionate and protective.
In the hierarchy among males, the alpha male occupies the top spot. He is the leader of the group and is protective and takes care of the rest, especially his mate. While other males down the order may not be as protective or as caring as the alpha male of the pack.
So, this means as the partner of the alpha male, you enjoy a privileged status as well as care. Your alpha partner will ensure that you are happy, content, and safe at all times. In case of any emergency, they will rush to your side and do everything humanly possible to resolve the issue and make you feel better.
Even if you are not asking for help, he is there right with you fighting off the evil forces trying to make your life miserable. He is always ready to defend your honor. You can feel assured that he will back you up, irrespective of how he feels about the situation.
He will fight for your honor not just in the physical sense. He is as competent at resolving your emotional problems as well. It would be foolish and wrong on your part to assume that your alpha male partner will be discouraged by your range of personal problems. He will consider it as a challenge that he needs to overcome and take it as a privilege to help you.
2. His confidence is unshakeable.
Our image of an alpha male is mostly derived from the heroes in movies. They are always depicted as devilishly handsome and incredibly wealthy with a strong muscular frame to boot. They are the perfect male specimens.
Unfortunately, this is a wrong representation of alpha males. It is not that handsome men cannot be alpha males. Of course, they can be. But it is not a prerequisite. The real prerequisite to qualify as an alpha male is rock-solid confidence. He has so much self-belief that nothing can make him waver from his purpose.
He stands by his words, actions, beliefs, and goals. He offers his unconditional support to those in his close circle and people he trusts. He doesn’t play the victim when he fails in his attempts; it is always a learning experience for him. He never seeks or expects sympathy nor does he make excuses for his failure.
The alpha males make excellent life partners as they end up inspiring you to improve and scale new heights. They help you push boundaries and realize your potential.
3. He is good at accomplishing practical stuff.
For you, he will go to any lengths to get what you want. He is especially good at doing practical things in everyday life. Such as running errands for you, managing people, or even pampering you with a relaxing massage or foot rub.
Being an alpha male, he is a man of many talents. He never shies away from using his skills to get things accomplished for you. In fact, he is proud that he can do something good for you and make you happy. He comes with a distinct hero instinct.
And don’t mistake his “eager to please” mentality for docility or subservience. He is anything but a slave. However, he takes pride in taking care of you and he uses every opportunity to bring out his inner-hero instinct to the fore.
The inner hero instinct is a term defined by James Bauer, the famous author, psychologist, and relationship coach. He affirms that all men have the hero instinct embedded in their genes. You just need to trigger it to make him feel better and love you harder. This will lead to healthy alpha male relationships. And mind it, triggering hero instinct doesn’t involve any sacrifice from your end.
4. He doesn’t use you to boost his confidence or self-esteem.
A relationship is more about giving and taking and supporting each other’s needs and wants. However, if you are in a relationship with an alpha male, your contribution would be limited. He doesn’t want you to massage his ego or go out of the way to make him look important. In short, he is not dependent on you to feel confident and secure.
An alpha male loves to love and be loved in return. But for the sake of love, he won’t do anything to damage his self-esteem. Neither would he use his relationship to boost his self-esteem.
To an alpha male, his self-belief and self-worth are unshakeable. He won’t do anything to damage it nor would he expect you to boost it up. He will never be a part of a codependent relationship. He doesn’t need someone to define himself.
He is self-reliant and has what it takes to survive in this big bad world. Probably you chose him for these attributes.
5. He is brave and courageous but never brash and irresponsible.
He never backs down from hard work or hard choices. He is not daunted by complex or confusing problems. Be it physical exertion or mental pain, an alpha male is not intimidated by anything. His attitude would be, “Bring it on, baby”.
Once he has set his sights on the goal, no amount of hard work or hurdles can dissuade him from it. He will carry on resolute despite all the hardships and even occasional setbacks. But one thing you cannot say about him is that he is foolhardy and reckless.
There is a general misconception about alpha males that they are aggressive to the point of being negative and toxic. This is far from the truth. They are aware of their abilities and confident about what they can achieve. They are judicious and competent in their approach to getting what they want and defend those they love.
Unfortunately, their success and self-assured style of functioning is often misunderstood as brashness and aggression. In fact, they are least interested in blowing their own horn.
6. He believes that respect needs to be earned.
The confidence with which an alpha male carries himself is often mistaken and misinterpreted as fake machismo and bravado. Let’s be clear about this. There is nothing fake about an alpha male. Every bit of self-assurance he exudes is backed fully by solid substance. He is as real as anything can be.
Moreover, he doesn’t believe in showing off or singing his own praises. The truth is that he doesn’t need to do that. He is already doing so much good work that he earns recognition and respect without resorting to bluffing.
He doesn’t expect false praises and flattery from anyone. He is old school in this regard. He strongly believes that recognition and respect should be earned. Neither does he expect you to massage his ego or mollycoddle him. He likes to work hard to get something he wants, including your love and respect.
An alpha male sets high standards for himself and doesn’t display signs of entitlement.
7. He rarely makes a fuss, protests, or whines.
None of us would like to admit it but we are all guilty of complaining when things don’t go our way. Some of us are pros at this.
It is an altogether different story with an alpha male. He is not like run-of-the-mill people. He treats the act of complaining like poison. He stays away from it as much as possible.
His reasoning for this attitude is simple. Complaining makes you feel helpless and maintains your focus on failure. It gets you firmly embedded in a vicious cycle of toxicity. This is something against his life strategy.
An alpha male devotes all his attention to success. He wields all the power he can muster to make life better for himself and the people he loves.
Of course, he is human and he too encounters a bad day now and then. However, he is careful to maintain a positive attitude to live through it and keep an optimistic expectation for the future.
An alpha male truly believes that whining is a waste of time. He can use the time to take action to ensure the change he wants to see. He is also aware that he may not always find success. But he considers trying to improve things better than complaining.
8. He makes you feel more feminine.
It is a misconception that an alpha guy is a macho man. Maybe the misinterpretation stems from his strength of character, confidence, and determination. But he also has a softer side, which people rarely get to know.
Having an alpha male as a partner will give you a ringside view of this aspect of his alpha personality. He brings out the gentle nature and the femininity in you. The absence of threat or judgment from him allows you to be your true self, revealing your vulnerability without fear.
As he is secure in his identity, you get the freedom to be your real self. As there is no need to put up a false front for him or massage his ego, you can reveal your true feeling without fear or pressure. You can bring out your feminine identity without restrictions.
You may face problems if you are an alpha woman. As there is bound to be competition, this is considered a bad match. An alpha guy is not interested in being with a woman who wants to compete with him. He wants a woman to love and cherish and who will return his love in equal measure.
9. He is a confluence of the opposites.
He is strong yet gentle. He is assertive but sensitive. He is masculine but he wants you to be feminine. He is a strange mixture of opposing features.
An alpha male is strong and assertive. This doesn’t mean he likes to strong-arm others, especially you. Unfortunately, the image popularized by movies and media is that of an insensitive beast. This makes life tougher for alpha men.
Men who act like brutes can in no way be called alpha males. People like that cannot occupy the top position in the hierarchy. They are stationed way down the order. Men like that come with so many insecurities and vulnerabilities that they try to cover up their deficiencies with their false bravado and insensitive behavior.
An alpha male may be assertive and confident but he will never resort to force or violence to get his way. They make excellent partners because they place a high value on feelings and relationships and give you the kind of respect you deserve.
10. He is highly driven to succeed.
An alpha male sets tall goals for himself and makes it his mission to succeed in achieving them. He likes challenges and enjoys the thrill of pursuing goals. As his partner, you are also part of his goal. He sets milestones in your relationship as goals and ensures that they are reached. This way, your relationship is safe and secure.
Even when he encounters hurdles and roadblocks on his path, his natural focus and aggression ensure that he overcomes the challenges and finds success. He is not content to be ordinary and accomplish what regular people achieve. He wants to push his luck as further as he can and achieve as much as his potential will allow.
He is highly competitive and he needs a purpose to live. Without these attributes, an alpha guy will find it hard to survive. But the best part of his competitive spirit is that he will take you along with him on his journey. He will help you in every way to reach your goal. That is one definite advantage of dating an alpha male.
11. He wants to stand out in the crowd.
In a way that is to be expected as he occupies the top position in the hierarchy. It is not unusual to find alpha males in leadership roles. They enjoy the extra responsibility and work involved. It is good news for those who get an alpha guy as their leader. Because not only do they work hard and push themselves to great heights, but they also take others with them on this journey to success.
We already know how much an alpha male loves competition. He uses this competitive spirit of his to push himself to achieve more in everything he attempts. Be it at work or the gym.
To an alpha male being ordinary is not enough. He considers merely getting along in life as ordinary. He knows that to stand out in the crowd, he needs to push himself further and strive for success. And, this is what he is always after.
12. He is devoted and faithful.
Again, the false image of an alpha male popularized by movies is to be blamed for this. They are typically depicted as womanizers and cheaters. No need to say there is no truth in this.
As the alpha male is confident and secure, they have no qualms in talking to people, including the opposite sex. Because of their exalted status in the hierarchy, they get to choose their partners. In fact, practically everyone wants to date an alpha guy so that he will be spoilt for choices.
Even when he is in a serious relationship, women fall for him even if there is no encouragement from his side. However, he has eyes only for you and you alone. He is the epitome of loyalty. You may find him to be kind and helpful to everyone but he will not waver in his devotion to you and the relationship you share.
You need to remember that an alpha male also expects the same level of devotion from you.
When something goes wrong with the relationship, he will not flee the sinking ship like a rat. He will stick around and try his best to salvage the relationship.
13. He is aware of his strengths and shortcomings.
This is one of the attributes that help him succeed. He doesn’t have any illusions about himself. He knows and understands himself inside out.
Over years, he has learned to work around his weaknesses to reduce their impact on his life. He never allows his flaws to limit his progress or prevent him from finding success. He accepts and acknowledges them and tries his best to work with them.
An alpha male is indeed confident and self-assured. He believes in himself and his abilities. But at the same time, he is realistic in his expectations. He knows that having unrealistic expectations can put a strain on himself and the relationship. He tries hard so that he can change what he can and accept what he can’t.
He is obviously proud of who he is and his achievements. He is as grounded as a person can be despite all that he has accomplished. He never allows his success to make him arrogant.
14. He is honest to a fault.
Some may find this unbelievable because of the wrong image floated by some movies. And, often their honesty is misunderstood as aggression and indifference. But the truth is alpha men are open, genuine, and upfront in their thoughts and dealings. However, their honesty can get them into trouble as they never try to sugarcoat their words.
Alpha males remain steadfast in their honesty even when it is advantageous to be otherwise. Whenever they find themselves in a difficult situation, they try to extricate themselves in the most honest way possible.
Their honesty can put them in a spot as well. At times, they may hurt the feelings of others with their honesty but you need to understand that they cannot be dishonest even if they want to.
He is also truthful about who he is and never tries to hide or run away from his own mistakes. He would rather confront his mistakes and learn from them.
15. He has a good sense of humor.
He is a natural leader and a well-liked one at that. Because it is always non-stop fun when he is around. He is a good storyteller and always knows how to entertain his audience. He laughs at himself and doesn’t think of keeping up a certain image. He is easy-going and entertaining.
He is very much aware of his flaws and shortcomings but tends to make jokes about them and keep the atmosphere light and without strain. He doesn’t try to hide his weaknesses and points them out before others use them to bring him down.
An alpha male is a good conversationalist and host. When he is around, the atmosphere is light and full of fun. His mind is expansive and he doesn’t get offended easily.
Alpha males are excellent partner material contrary to popular belief. So, if you come across an alpha guy, there is no need to turn your back on them or run away from them. In fact, you should consider yourself lucky to get involved with an alpha male.
They push hard to reach the pinnacle of success and take you together on this journey. Some women may find this approach too taxing. Moreover, alpha females also will find it hard to get along with them.
The ideal way to handle an alpha guy in a relationship is to trigger their inner hero instinct. Not only does it help with the relationship, but it will also bring about an improvement in the lives of everyone involved.
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