“Once a cheater, always a cheater.”
We all have heard this adage umpteen times and maybe have repeated it to ourselves as well as to others. Is there any truth in this? Do all cheaters indulge in serial cheating?
Before searching for the truth in this statement, it would be better if we can refrain from generalizing people’s behavior. Not only is this unfair and unjustified, but it is also wrong.
Let’s focus only on these questions – Can you trust a girl who has cheated? Is it right to assume that she will engage in serial cheating? Can she be faithful?
To answer this question, you need to understand the reasons why women cheat in a relationship. Even when she cheats once, it is not the end of the road. With the right approach and actions, it is possible to move past this hurtful episode and emerge stronger. She can be faithful. One mistake and it would be unfair to assume that she will indulge in serial cheating.
This article focuses on cheating in relationships, specifically, an unfaithful woman. Here you will find how a cheating woman can turn the relationship around and go past this painful event. Before we go into this, let’s understand more about a cheating woman.
Psychological facts about a cheating woman
These are the most common red flags of an unfaithful woman. Even when these reasons are valid, none of them are justifications for cheating in relationships.
- She feels unloved and unwanted.
- She feels that she is being taken for granted.
- She has low self-esteem.
- She is emotionally disconnected from you and is able to connect with someone else.
- She feels bored in the relationship and craves more passion and excitement.
- She wants to be in control and dominate the relationship.
- She has cheated in her past relationships.
- She has a family history of being unfaithful.
- She is seeking revenge on some accounts.
- She is addicted to alcohol and other addictive drugs.
Characteristics of a cheating woman
Even though it is hard to generalize the behavioral traits of a cheating woman or predict who is more prone to serial cheating in relationships, it is still possible to find some common threads among the women who cheat. You need to remember that just one or two of these traits cannot make a woman a cheater. Though you may treat them as red flags.
So, here’s the list of characteristics.
- She’s a rule breaker.
- She likes to dominate and be in control.
- She forces herself to follow societal norms, though she doesn’t agree with them.
- She doesn’t own up to her mistakes.
- She doesn’t consider lying or cheating wrong.
- She’s secretive, guards her privacy, and leads a double life.
- She is afraid of commitment and divorce.
- She is evasive in her dealings.
- She is not good with communication.
- She has no misgivings about cheating for success.
How can a cheating woman change and be faithful?
When she is caught cheating, her partner will be aware of her dishonesty and deception. This makes it impossible for her to continue to lie and cheat. If she wants to continue in the relationship, she needs to show intent that she is willing to change for the better.
If she can manage to convince her partner of her good intentions, she may get a second chance.
Here are a few things a cheating woman can do to show her good intentions to you, her partner, and turn things around in the relationship.
1. She says you are the only one
She may have cheated when she got an opportunity. But if she can convince you that she has eyes only for you, you may feel it alright to forgive her for her transgression. You need to remember that this doesn’t resolve the original reason for her cheating.
If nothing is done to address this, she may commit serial cheating. If she is not taking the initiative to reveal and rectify this aspect, you may have to dig deeper and make it happen.
2. She is sincerely remorseful
She may have cheated when the circumstances were favorable. Maybe it was not pre-planned or she may have no intention of continuing with it. The moment she realizes what she has done, she shows genuine remorse.
She willingly admits her mistake and asks for forgiveness from you. She wants to be given a chance to correct her mistakes and relieve your pain. If you find her convincing enough, why not give her one chance to see how it works.
3. She owns up to her mistakes
When she is cornered or caught red-handed, she may be forced to admit to cheating. But it is a different matter altogether that she takes responsibility for her actions. That should work in her favor. She needs to be given credit for that.
She could have justified her actions by throwing allegations at you. It also matters if she came clean about her cheating by herself. Even if you found out about it first and confronted her, if she admitted to cheating without resistance and didn’t blame anyone else for it, it should count in her favor.
4. She shows a willingness to work on issues
Clearly, there are issues in her current relationship. Whether this is the only reason for her to cheat is up for debate. Some of the common relationship issues that may make a woman cheat are:
- Lack of intimacy
- Feeling unloved or ignored
- Unmet emotional and sexual needs
- Boredom and craving for excitement
- Anger and resentment
- Opportunity presenting itself
She cheated because of one or more reasons. No one cheats without a reason. Often the reason is an issue in the current relationship. She alone cannot resolve these issues. Both of you need to work together. Unless the issues are resolved, this episode may be repeated in the future.
5. She makes visible changes in her behavior
She has owned up to her mistakes and apologized. She has made her intentions to resolve the relationship issued clear to you. To convince you of her good faith, she has made substantial changes in her behavior. You cannot expect or ask for more from her.
It’s clear that she’s really sorry about what happened. She has promised that she won’t repeat it. Though promises may sound good, they are after all just words. Unless they are backed by action, they don’t mean much in the real world. That is why her efforts at changing her behavior are worth appreciating.
Final thoughts on a cheating woman
She admits that she doesn’t feel in love or committed to the relationship. She is also having intimacy and trust issues. Besides promising to work on these issues, she has shown good faith in you by talking about her troubles openly. That is definitely a step in the right direction. You need to give her credit for that.
She is also willing to accept that it may not be easy for you to forgive her. She is ready to tolerate your anger and give you time to come around. She is willing to wait for you to understand and pardon her and move on from this painful episode.
You are justified in feeling aggrieved by her cheating. You didn’t sign up for this. Despite all the promises and actions, there is no way to predict whether she will commit serial cheating. You may have to weigh numerous pros and cons before making this important decision. No one is going to blame you for walking away either.
Before you do that, remind yourself that most relationships can survive cheating. A cheating woman can indeed change and be faithful from here onwards.