Emotions form the foundation of any relationship. Even though logic is also a key ingredient, emotions like love and romance dominate the relationship arena.
When we talk about emotions and relationships, one aspect we cannot ignore is emotional maturity. If you are looking for a long-term and stable partnership, the presence of emotional maturity is vital for its success.
Often you don’t enter a relationship as a highly mature person. This journey is undertaken together by the couple as they travel along life’s path. For them, emotional maturity is a natural progression of their experiences and life together.
This article delves into the role of emotional maturity in a relationship. Besides its definition and importance, you will find here tips and suggestions on how to become emotionally mature.
What does it mean to be emotionally mature?
Emotional maturity or maturity in a relationship is an umbrella term covering various aspects for various people. In a broad sense, it can be described as your ability to understand and respond to the needs of your partner and make the commitment to love and value them absolutely despite impediments.
When you become mature mentally, you know the right approach to reveal your trust and respect to your partner. You would know how to build a good communication channel, how to maintain it, and how to communicate with care and compassion. Your maturity will equip you well to sense the needs of your partner and attend to them without a second thought.
Having maturity means you would be big-hearted enough not to jump to conclusions about your partner. You would be willing to listen to them patiently, help them progress in life at their pace, and give them the benefit of doubt and unconditional support in all their endeavors.
Emotional maturity is something that brings love, affection, and stability to a connection and makes it grow into a happy and healthy relationship.
Emotional maturity in a person can be understood easily by looking for these signs.
- Confidence, self-belief, self-worth, and sense of self
- Calm and resilient even in tough situations
- Takes responsibility for their words and actions
- Easy-going and adaptable
- Friendly and approachable
- Considers challenges as opportunities
- Self-assured enough to admit their ignorance, if need be
Why is it important to act mature in a relationship?
As emotions form the bedrock of a relationship, things can get strained and volatile if emotions are allowed to run riot. And, it will, if the person/s involved are not mature enough to rein in their emotions.
A relationship is a minefield of conflicts, arguments, misunderstandings, and more. When a person in a relationship is highly emotional and allows their emotions to show without restraints, an emotionally immature partner can take everything said and done at their face value and react. The consequences are obvious.
In such a scenario, the relationship will have a hard time surviving.
On the other hand, if your partner says or does something hurtful but you are emotionally mature, you would be ready to talk it out with them and resolve any misunderstandings. You would be willing to give them another chance. This is a sign of emotional maturity.
When there are disagreements and conflicts, mature handling of the situation can save the relationship. The need of the hour is to own up to the wrongs and promise not to repeat the same. Maturity helps you to see the viewpoint of others and acknowledge their emotions.
Staying together in a mature relationship is about growing together as individuals and as a couple. Maturity is a vital ingredient in the relationship recipe.
How to become emotionally mature?
The role of emotional maturity in a relationship is undeniable. Here are some steps to improve your maturity.
1. Improve your communication skills
Communication is essential for a healthy and long-lasting relationship. Your ability to express your thoughts and feelings well can help you build strong relationships. Along with this, you also need to have the skill to listen to your partner.
When you add maturity into the mix, you will find the wrinkles in the relationship vanish into thin air. Tact in guiding the conversation and dealing with undesirable situations can help you build a relationship.
2. Own up your feelings and conduct
Trouble will start brewing when you disown them. On the other hand, when you take responsibility for your behavior, you would be better equipped to make better and constructive decisions.
You won’t take refuge in victimhood and will be willing to embrace self-empowerment. Besides accepting yourself as it is, you would have the maturity to accept your partner with warts and all.
3. Accept imperfections
No human being is perfect. Neither are you nor your partner. Expecting perfection from your partner is like seeking the fool’s paradise and can sound the death-knell for your relationship.
Acknowledge the fact that perfection is a myth and is a comparative term. This knowledge is ingrained in a mature person. It would be easy for them to accept flaws instead of sitting in judgment. It can help you to forgive and disregard their temper tantrums and focus on the good attributes.
4. Learn to respect and trust
Trust and respect form the cornerstones of any relationship. Without this, the relationship will come crashing down eventually. And these come out of emotional maturity.
You should be able to believe that your partner is loyal, sincere, and honest about the relationship, besides respecting your partner as an individual. Maturity can achieve all these and more for you.
5. Forgive and forget
So much has been said and written about the need to forgive and forget in a relationship. If you were to hold your partner accountable for every small mistake, the saga is never going to end. From a molehill, it will grow into a mountain and consume the relationship in due course.
The act of forgiving and forgetting is not easy to embrace. You need maturity for this. In its absence, the natural tendency to find faults and blame will take over. Maturity will help you realize that mistakes are made by everyone, including yourself.
6. Understand the implications of your words
You must have heard the advice – think before you talk. Being frank and honest is one thing and saying whatever comes to mind is another. Especially during arguments and conflicts, when you want to hurt the other person.
If you want to continue the relationship, there is no point in hurting each other. Only maturity can help you realize this simple truth. Pause a moment and weigh your words to understand how they will impact the listener.
7. Desist from making assumptions
Jumping to conclusions and overthinking are the signs of emotionally immature people. An honest conversation with your partner on the topic would be the best way to clear misunderstandings. Instead, if you act based on your assumptions, it can only lead to an unhealthy situation and ultimately, breakup.
Only with maturity, will you be able to refrain from these negative tendencies. With a positive mindset, you will be more than willing to give your partner the benefit of doubt.
Some more suggestions to mature emotionally
- Learn to be more tolerant and patient.
- Be ready to work together for a common goal and resolve your difference
- See your partner through the prism of kindness, compassion, and empathy
- Be willing to consider your partner’s feelings and emotions
- Give priority to the health and stability of the relationship
- Resist the temptation to transform your partner
- Develop the ability to see things from the perspective of your partner
- Offer your love and affection with no strings attached
Emotional maturity means many things to different people.
Even if what is seen as emotional maturity differs from person to person, one thing is for sure – it is something in you that helps you to maintain relationships rather than destroy them.
You want to improve your relationship with your partner. Use our couples communication exercises to overcome your communication issues and build a better relationship!