Have you ever had this experience?
You meet a handsome, charming guy and fell for him instantly. He too must have felt the same way because things got physical right away. The physical attraction was too much to resist.
The relationship went from kissing to sleeping together way too soon than usual for you. The sexual experience was not bad either. It was better than anything you have ever experienced. You were feeling on top of the world when you woke up the next day. Your regret to get intimate so soon has vanished into thin air.
You decided to take an active interest in developing this relationship into something more serious. However, to your surprise and disappointment, he never called you or texted you. He stopped responding to your text message as well.
Is this what dating is about in this modern age? All the excitement leading up to nothing? Is this what he thinks after you sleep with him?
You find yourself at a dead-end trying to figure out your choices. What exactly can you do about it?
This article offers you useful tips and suggestions when you are faced with this dilemma. You will also find here probable reasons why he acted this way.
Why did he stop responding after sex?
“He stopped texting me after we slept together”. That is hard to digest for a woman.
From a woman’s perspective, men are strange creatures. They find it too hard to understand the reasons behind their actions. When a woman finds herself stranded after a sexual encounter, she finds her views vindicated.
Men try to justify their actions by saying “Boys are after all boys”. Is that what this is? Is he willing to do anything to get what he wants and discard her like old clothes when his desires are met? Can you get a guy to respect you after sleeping with him?
Let’s see why a man would indulge in such a thing.
- He was interested only in sex. He considered you a prize catch. Maybe he even had a bet on you with his buddies.
- He doesn’t have the maturity to consider your feelings. And his misogyny must have compounded the issue.
- He dreads intimacy. This may have roots in the abuse he endured as a child. He may have mindless sex without intimacy. But he runs away from commitment.
- He may be in a serious relationship. You were just a passing fancy for him.
- He feels no bonding with you. It was always only about physical attraction and sex for him.
“He stopped texting me after we slept together” – What can you do about it?
If you were serious about him and the relationship, this can hit you hard. Let’s see how you can handle the situation you find yourself in the best possible way.
1. Don’t indulge in self-flagellation
When something bad happens to you, you may feel the urge to blame yourself for it. That isn’t fair. When two people are involved in a fiasco, at least they should share the blame. Here, in this case, you did nothing wrong. So, why blame yourself?
When he didn’t send you a text message and stopped responding after you slept together, you will try to dig up all your past interactions and ponder over them in the hope of finding a clue. Your insecurities and low self-esteem can only worsen the situation.
You feel that maybe you didn’t communicate your feelings and desires well enough. You totally missed seeing through the false facade he created for your sake. Now that you can see him for who he really is, you feel foolish and a loser.
But what good it will do to blame yourself other than feel depressed? By doing this, you are letting him win the final round as well.
2. Check on what happened the day after
You woke up happy and content. He woke up later. You tried to cozy up to him, but he seems to be not in the mood for intimacy. When he turned away from your kiss, you thought of him as a gentleman as he was concerned about bad breath.
You introduced the topic of future plans but he barely said anything. Now that you analyze it, this may have freaked him out. But what does this say about him? Is he this easily perturbed? After all, you just talked about your job and hinted at a future together. Nothing more, nothing less.
3. Try to understand his thought process
Get inside his head and make sense of the situation. What made him do this to you? What was he looking for in you? Was this always his plan?
A friend introduced him to you. You never imagined an adult to behave in such a childish way.
You wanted to ask your mutual friends about him and his whereabouts. Or search social media for news about him. But you don’t want him to know that you are looking for him. After all, two consenting adults agreed to have sex. There was no talk about commitments. So, you cannot blame him for the way he treated you though you didn’t expect this from him.
He may have many reasons for not contacting you. He may be busy at work or occupied with some family emergency. If you can find a mutual friend you can trust, talk to them about this guy.
4. He was going steady with someone else
That actually makes sense though it is disappointing for you. You thought he was genuinely interested in you but he turned out to be a cheat. All the while he was dating you, he was in a serious relationship with this other woman. If only you had looked for it, you would have found his pictures with various women on social media.
This means he was never serious about you. He was just stringing you along for sexual pleasure. You were just a plaything for him – to be used and discarded at his discretion.
You may find this hard to accept but there are such people in this world. The sooner you realize this, the better prepared you will be.
5. Don’t throw away your self-respect
You may feel sad and humiliated after the sexual encounter. You need to convince yourself that none of that is your fault. The blame for the entire episode lies with him and him alone.
He may have the audacity to explain his actions if you confront him. After treating you as worthless and insignificant and using you for his own gratification, he tries to paint himself as a saint. That is hilarious, to say the least.
Most probably he was two-timing you or even worse. There was no “relationship” to speak of. Then, what are you beating your chest about? Why are you feeling so sad and let down?
Be happy that you managed to escape from this guy with just this much damage. You should not throw away your self-worth as well for his sake. He is definitely not worth it.
Bottom line
When you look back, you realize that it was the sexual attraction that fueled the whole episode. It had nothing to do with love or affection. When you come down to think about it, were you a really good fit for each other? Were you compatible? In the early days, who thought about compatibility? It is, mostly, physical attraction that fuels the relationship.
Unfortunately, you may never consider these points before sleeping with him. Hindsight, they say, is 20/20. You bonded well with him and had some shared interests. You got along well with each other. You mostly knew him through this social media profile. You never thought about how much you really know about the person or love him.
Clearly, he is not the right one for you, whether he walked out on you or not. His values don’t match yours. He is unkind, disrespectful, and childish.
Even if he calls or sends a text message, later on, you decide not to answer them. You feel concerned about the women he may cheat on in the future. For now, trash belongs in the trash can!