Recently you may have seen the term “hero instinct” being bandied about in relationship advice columns a lot. Specifically, the 12-word text message triggers a man’s hero instinct.
Do you have any idea what it is and how to use it? If not, read on.
This article will provide you with the ins and outs of hero instinct and how you can use it in your relationship. Here, you will also find the 12-word text message examples that include hero instinct phrases.
By answering a series of commonly asked questions about hero instinct, this article offers you a comprehensive guide to hero instinct. Some of the questions covered here are:
- What is hero instinct?
- Is it real or a myth?
- How can you trigger hero instinct to benefit your relationship?
- What is more covered in James Bauer’s His Secret Obsession book?
Let’s get started.
What is hero instinct?
In his now-famous His Secret Obsession book, James Bauer came up with the term “hero instinct” to describe the natural desire of a man to protect and provide for the people he loves and cares about. He describes this as the basic trait in a man. In short, hero instinct makes a man feel like one.
Hero instinct in a man is not restricted to any background, culture, race, or region. This is a trait found in all men across the world. In his research, James Bauer found that this trait is an integral part of the psychology of a man. It’s in his DNA.
Being the foundation of a man’s character, hero instinct profoundly influences how he sees the world and himself, his role in society and family, and his relationships. The feeling that he can provide and protect those he loves offers him a sense of purpose and fulfillment, which ultimately influences his happiness and contentment.
On the other hand, the absence of this feeling can make him feel inadequate and frustrated. It may even lead to anger and resentment.
In the book His Secret Obsession, James Bauer tells us that a partner can trigger hero instinct in a man and use it to take their relationship forward.
Who is the inner hero of a man?
Every man has an idealized version of himself in his mind. It is the version that he thinks he should be. A man’s inner hero is strong, assertive, capable, and a protector.
As long as a man believes that he is close to his image of his inner-hero and living up to it, he experiences contentment. The image of the inner hero can also harm his behavior. When he feels that he is nowhere close to this image, he feels incompetent and incapable. This can make him discontent, angry, and bitter.
By uncovering the inner hero, it is possible to trigger a man’s hero instinct. The book describes the perfect method to achieve this. The author tells us that uncovering the inner hero and triggering the hero instinct in a man is beneficial for the relationship.
What is meant by the primitive drive?
Again, James Bauer, the author of His Secret Obsession book, coined this term in his book. The author uses the term “primitive drive” to refer to all men’s fundamental and deep-rooted desire to feel valued and needed by the people they care about.
When you trigger his hero instinct, you are helping him feel fulfilled in his role as a provider and protector. This, in turn, activates the primitive drive in him and makes him better devoted, connected, and committed to the relationship.
When his hero instinct is not activated, he may not be trying hard enough to fulfill his role as a provider and protector. Nor will he invest more effort to satisfy his primitive drive. Ultimately, this can make him feel distant and disconnected from the relationship.
The best way to awaken a man’s primitive drive is to ask for help. You may do it in a direct fashion or in subtle ways. Again, you must remember that what works with one man may not work for another. You may need to adapt and improvise.
Another way to trigger his primitive drive is to show gratitude for what he is doing for you. Once he is aware of how much you are noticing and appreciating his efforts, he will become more invested in the relationship and willing to do more for you.
How does hero instinct work its magic?
When the inner hero in a man is aroused, it prompts him to do heroic deeds. There are three kinds of heroic deeds.
The first and most visible of them all is old-fashioned chivalry. Such as helping you out or doing things for you out of his love for you. For instance, lifting heavy things, doing hard tasks, offering you his coat to help you feel warm, or holding the door open for you.
The second kind of hero deed is less physical and more mental and emotional help. Giving you advice or providing you the information you seek comes under this heroic deed category. Giving you hints and suggestions on how to face an interview and helping you choose a laptop or a smartphone come from his need to play your hero. He just wants to prove to you that he can be of help to you.
The third type of hero deed includes unexpected and surprise gestures. He cooks you a surprise dinner, helps with household chores, gives you gifts, or takes you to exotic places. He is thrilled by these gestures and expects you to appreciate them.
Ultimately, a man has an inner urge to help and make others happy. In return, he expects compliments and appreciation and enjoys the thrill he gets out of the challenging situation.
Is it real? Is it bad to trigger hero instinct?
The hero instinct is as real as anything can be. It’s the secret urge that hides under the surface in all men. It remains invisible until you trigger it. Even when it is evident, it is often ignored and taken for granted. That can be hard for the man to take.
The whole point of the hero instinct is to feel appreciated and valued. Even after acting his part as a hero, if he is not appreciated as much as he feels he should be, it is bound to make him angry and embittered.
Inner hero and hero instinct are integral parts of a man’s character. This being the case, it is real, and there is nothing wrong with triggering it. However, to get the maximum benefit from it, it is essential to do this in the right way and channel in the right direction.
Does hero instinct affect a relationship?
The simple answer is yes. It does have a profound influence on how a relationship pans out. Making the man take on the role of the provider and protector can make him feel more invested and emotionally connected in a relationship. The absence of hero instinct can make him feel the opposite as well. He may act distant and feel disconnected from his partner.
One of the main drawbacks of the hero instinct is that he can’t trigger it himself. It is up to his partner to do the job. As his partner, you are well-positioned for this task. One of the ideal ways to trigger a man’s hero instinct is to ask for help. You may do this in open or subtle ways.
There is no need to feel insecure about asking for help. No way does this diminish your individuality or independence. It is in the DNA of human beings to help each other, and you are merely utilizing this existing tendency to trigger hero instinct. In fact, he will be all the more impressed that an independent and capable woman like you chose to ask him for help.
However, honesty is an essential component of its success. By triggering the hero instinct in a man, you can make him do things for you. If you misuse this or fake your need for help, he will get wise to your tactics at some point. It is also important that your show of appreciation is genuine. If not, it can ruin the show for you.
James Bauer, in his book, makes it very clear that the hero instinct is not a means for women to “trick” men into doing things for them. As long as you are honest and sincere, this will work like magic in improving your relationship.
How to trigger hero instinct?
You may adopt diverse approaches to make this happen. The most straightforward way to do this is to ask for help. It doesn’t matter whether you are capable of doing this by yourself. In fact, if you can do this on your own and still ask for his help, he will be all the more impressed about it.
Some men may need prompting, while others may need less. It is up to you to figure out what works with your man. However, it is important to act honestly. If you are using this approach to trick him into doing things for you and you have no real romantic feelings for him or are not interested in the relationship, your efforts may not succeed. Even if you manage to succeed in the short-term, he will get wise to your schemes, and it will ultimately fail.
What is the 12-word hero instinct text message?
James Bauer, in his book, gives us the most effective way to trigger a man’s hero instinct. He describes this as a 12-word text. You may read more about it in the His Secret Obsession review here.
Here is one of the hero instinct text examples the author described in his book, His Secret Obsession.
“I love you. I need you. Thank you for being my hero.”
Since its launch, the book has helped millions of couples lead happy and fulfilled lives, devoid of ego, conflict, and misunderstanding. The revelation of the hero instinct secret, especially the 12-word text message to trigger it, has been lauded by relationship experts as well as real users.
The author reveals on his website that he arrived at this conclusion after 12 years of working as a relationship coach. From what he gathered by observing couples at close quarters over a decade, he believes that “the secret male obsession is key to a man’s heart.” He says that you can use this knowledge “to make the man of your choice feel a burning desire for you that’s so powerful that you’ll become the most important person in his life.”
The 12-word text can be anything similar to the one given above. It has to express your burning desire, appreciation, and need for him. You can ask for him to protect and provide for you. These 12 words are carefully chosen to tap into his innate desire to play the hero. It is designed to make him feel as if his help is essential to your happiness and he is vital to your wellbeing.
As a modern woman, you may find this demeaning and belittling your sense of freedom and individuality. There is no need to lower your self-esteem to boost his. You can achieve all these without letting go of your self-respect.
With this 12-word text message, you can manage to improve your standing on the top of his priority list. This alone can reignite the spark and reinvent your relationship.
However, you need to remember that no fixed 12-word text can be used by all and will work wonders for every couple and solve their problems. Each person is different, and so is the problem faced by each couple. Again, what worked on one occasion may not work for another. You need to create a customized 12-word text for each occasion based on the underlying factors involved.
While coining the text and using it, you must remain honest with yourself about your needs. And you should also open your mind and allow him to fulfill what you asked of him.
If you are exploring ways to improve your connectedness in the relationship or even prompt him to commit to it, triggering the hero instinct is a good place to start.
Who benefits from triggering the hero instinct?
James Bauer, in the His Secret Obsession book, tells us that this approach can be adopted by anyone who wants to trigger the hero instinct of their male partner in the relationship. It is a simple, direct, and effective method to bring back the spark in the relationship and prompt the feeling of connectedness in a male partner. Naturally, the more invested he is in the relationship, the healthier it will be and the longer it lasts.
The author has included years of experience and research as a relationship coach in this book, His Secret Obsession. Since both men and women find it hard to comprehend, accept, and anticipate the needs of the opposite sex, this book works as a handbook for women to understand what a man wants.
Any woman who wants to get her man more devoted to her and more involved in the relationship can use the hero instinct approach. Even if you are single, you can use this method to attract the partner you want.
Can you trigger hero instinct by texting?
When you are interacting with your partner in person, you need to be careful about the words you choose to trigger his hero instinct secret. This can be hard for some women. They may find texting a better way to achieve the same goal.
When texting, you have better control over the words you use. The 12-word text mentioned in the book perfectly fits in with this. Whether you want to ask for help or show him your appreciation, you can do the same using text messages.
Here are awesome 12-word text revealed examples to get you started.
Hero instinct text examples
- “I need your help with a project I’m on. Can you help?”
- “I appreciate all that you have done for me and still do.”
- “I need your help and support in this difficult time in life.”
- “I am facing some issues with my laptop. Think you can help?”
- “I need someone with muscles to move boxes. Can you lend a hand?”
- “Thanks for dropping me, especially since it was out of the way.”
- “It was nice of you to send me flowers yesterday. Much appreciated.”
- “You look so desirable and sexy in your new shirt. Slay ‘em.”
- “I’m happy to have you in my life. You’re my best friend.”
- “Do you have any idea how fortunate I feel to be with you?”
Most relationships are minefields. A single step out of line can blow your chance. In this context, if you consider the suggestion given in the book, you know that you have found a winner – the magical key to open all doors in the relationship.
The act of triggering the hero instinct in your male partner not only makes him more involved and invested in the relationship but also compels you to play an active role in the whole approach. When you consider the entire process, it is easy to see why this method will find success.
If you want to learn more about the Hero Instinct, check out His Secret Obsession Review. You’ll learn about what the Hero Instinct is, how it works, and whether or not it can help you in your relationship.
Related: 40 Texts To Make Him Think About You