Have you heard about hero instinct phrases? This is one major point where men differ from women.
Men have an innate tendency to play a hero – to provide and protect the people they love. The most curious part about hero instinct is that the man himself cannot trigger it. It needs the touch of a woman.
Relationship experts tell us that this is the best way to get a man to commit to a relationship. If you are a woman and having a hard time pinning your partner down in the relationship, you should know about hero instinct and how to trigger it in your man. You should also know how and when to use this and what you can achieve with this.
This article will give you a comprehensive overview of hero instinct and hero instinct phrases. You will find most of your questions about hero instinct phrases answered here.
What is hero instinct?
James Bauer coined the phrase “hero instinct” and used it in his now famous book His Secret Obsession. He describes it as a kind of psychological attitude in a relationship. It is based on the simple concept that a man wants to feel needed in a relationship.
A man wants to feel as if he is a knight in shining armor, rescuing his lady in distress and saving the day all the time. This makes him feel important and wanted. He has a role to play in making the life of the women he loves safe and secure. It is similar to the hero in a book or a movie. Hence the name.
In the modern-day version of a hero, the man may not picture himself as a knight, or the woman in his life needs rescue. But he still prefers a situation in which he is needed rather than just an add-on or being ornamental.
A hero instinct is something a man cannot activate on his own. It needs the active involvement of a woman to ask for help and take his help graciously. Even if a woman doesn’t need any help, triggering hero instinct in a man has its own advantages for a woman. For one, it helps in making the man feel needed in a relationship. This can prompt him to commit and stay put in the relationship.
15 ways to trigger hero instinct
A man feels inadequate or worthless when he is of no use to others. He feels needed when he is helping others as if he is a hero. It helps if the recipient of this generosity asks for help and says a few encouraging words.
All a man needs is a small nudge to get him going in the right direction. He is always looking for opportunities to help and display his skills and altruism in the process. As a woman, you can make use of this particular trait in your man and make him dance to your tune.
1. Ask him to help you.
You are strong and independent. You may not want his or anyone’s help. That is not the point. To trigger the hero instinct in a man, you must ask for help. It is all the more significant that you asked for help despite being competent and your ability to handle things.
Making your man a hero doesn’t mean you have to devalue yourself or project yourself in poor light. When you ask for help, it also doesn’t mean you cannot handle the same yourself. After all, human beings are meant to help each other. For whatever reason, you are choosing to take his help this time.
He will feel honored that you asked for his help despite your ability to do anything alone. He will consider it a privilege and take immense pride in helping you. This will be a big boost to his self-esteem.
2. Lavish praise on him.
You may think that only children would like to be praised. Massaging the ego can do wonders for adults, especially men. In fact, that is what the hero instinct phrases are all about.
As you are in the early stages of your relationship, words of praise from you will mean a lot to him. He will still help you if you ask him without any words of praise. But it always helps to make the atmosphere lighter and amicable if you are willing to add some good words about his selfless behavior.
Encouraging words can make a person feel on top of the world. Its absence can make them feel unappreciated and neglected. Be his number one admirer, supporter, and cheerleader.
3. Give him a boost and never take him down.
If you don’t want to, don’t tell lies or fake them to boost his morale. If you care to look for it, you can always find some good points in every human being. Find his best traits and make sure that you let everyone know how much you appreciate those traits in him.
In case you chance upon his weaknesses, talk about them only when you are alone with him. That too, only if you need to. This is not for public consumption.
Call it flattery, compliment, or praise; this can get you a long way in the relationship. It can help trigger hero instinct in him as well. It is a win-win for you and your man.
4. Make sure you don’t overdo it.
When you are complimenting him, make it look genuine. This is vital to get you the desired results. If he feels that you are faking it, he might even think that you are being sarcastic. You definitely wouldn’t want him to think of you like that.
In your enthusiasm to praise him and to trigger the hero instinct in him, you may go overboard with the praise. You know that compliments make him feel good about himself, but you must remember that there is a threshold beyond which the praises lose their sheen. It will sound hollow and fake. He will recognize it, though he wants to believe every word you say.
It may come across as condescending and patronizing when you go over the top with praises. You need to remember that he is an adult, not a child, to be treated like that.
5. Make sure he knows that he is making you happy.
You cannot give him better compliments than letting him know that he is making you happy. Ultimately, this is what a man wants to know, which is his goal. He wants to play a hero for you so that you are safe and happy. When you let him know that you are, it is a mission accomplished for him.
How you want to let him know of this is up to you. You may tell him outright. Or else you can be more subtle and show the same through your behavior. If you are resorting to the subtle approach, make sure he gets it alright. Or else the whole point is lost.
6. Encourage him to pursue his goals.
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you lose your individuality or freedom. This rule applies to you as well as to your partner. Often love and devotion in a relationship are measured based on the sacrifices made by partners. If you have sacrificed more, you are considered more devoted to your partner. This is an outdated concept and has no place in modern society.
To be happy as a couple also means being happy in your individual space. This means doing everything that makes you happy as an individual and not giving up your personal ambitions and goals. To ensure that he is happy as an individual, you should be supportive of his dreams and prompt him to chase them.
Play the supportive partner, and he will feel like a true hero who has the world at his feet.
7. Let him know that he is your best friend.
The magical ingredient in healthy relationships is friendship. Couples who start their relationship as best friends find it easier to weather the storm and last for years together. Even if this is not the case, you can always develop a deep friendship with your partner and make it the foundation of your relationship.
If you are in the beginning stage of the relationship, you may not be able to use this to trigger the hero instinct in your partner. This method doesn’t apply to you. You need to be well into a committed relationship to make this work.
You may find ways to let him know that he is your best friend or the go-to man for all occasions. You can also call him your “bae” if you really mean it. Make sure you are sincere and genuine, or else it will backfire. With this simple gesture, you can make your man feel on top of the world.
8. Don’t forget to thank him.
Often in relationships, couples tend to take each other for granted. Even when you are courteous to others and use the “magic words” you learned in your childhood, you often forget to say the same to your partner. Maybe you believe that “there is no place for sorry and thank you in a relationship.” Or you just didn’t give this any thought.
Showing gratitude is never wrong, irrespective of the setting. Whether it is a relationship or a friendship, making the other person know your appreciation can only help. In fact, gratitude and appreciation are all the more important in a relationship. It can trigger the hero instinct in him as well.
9. Encourage him to do his own thing.
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean the two of you have to act like conjoined twins. There is no need to always do things together and sacrifice your interests and ambitions for the sake of the common goal. You need to find the balance between couples’ activities and personal pursuits. Couples who manage this aspect in a relationship are the happy and successful ones.
When this is the rule in your relationship, you will also get time to pursue your interests while your partner is doing his own thing. It is a win-win situation. This freedom will help him feel that he is his own man. The more independent he feels and less controlled, his hero instinct will come alive on its own.
10. Take care not to damage his manliness.
Words like “manliness” or “machismo” may seem outdated in this modern times, but that is just an illusion. Men still want to feel “manly,” masculine, and strong. They use every opportunity to make this known to everyone.
If you want some heavy lifting to do, it is the perfect opportunity to boost your manliness. You may ask him to do it for you. He will take immense pride in their ability to do the hard task. They will happily oblige you and do it with pleasure while feeling delighted for the opportunity to assist you.
This is also an ideal way to trigger his hero instinct. This activity satiates his urge to provide and protect you. He may feel that he saved you the trouble of all the hard work, which is true to an extent.
11. Allow him to take care of you.
As a modern woman, this may not appeal to you. But for a happy and fulfilling relationship, consider this a sacrifice you need to make. On no account does this mean you are giving up your individuality or freedom. It is up to you to figure out how to balance all these various aspects of the relationship.
The hero instinct in your partner will compel him to be protective of you. He wants to do things for you and take care of you. In your eagerness to be independent, if you deny him this opportunity, you may find the going hard in the relationship. A relationship is all about giving and taking. Consider this the concession you need to give for love, affection, and companionship.
12. Let him feel his masculinity.
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean giving up on your identity or individuality. Couples need not think and act the same way to be in a happy and healthy relationship. Expecting individuals to give up on their individuality is detrimental to a healthy relationship.
Allow your partner to express himself in any way he wants to. If he wants to display his masculinity, so be it. It will help him feel good and fulfilled to be himself in a relationship. If you try to suppress his instincts and insist that he behave similarly to you, the relationship will end up in a disaster in no time.
The freedom of expression is a good trigger for hero instinct.
13. Ask for his help to fix things around the house.
If your partner is a hands-on man, use this to your advantage. Put his skills to good use by asking him to do stuff around the house. He is the right person for the task when something is not working, or your tap has sprung a leak.
Not only can this solve the problem for you, but it is also a wonderful opportunity for you to trigger his hero instinct.
14. Don’t mollycoddle him.
That is the worst thing you can do to him. You may think of it as love and affection. You may think you are being protective of and taking care of him. When you try to smother him with your love, he is bound to take the easy path in the relationship. He will shirk his responsibilities even if he is capable of them.
You may think that you are being affectionate and making him feel loved. But in the process, you are being overprotective and restricting his activities. This will make him feel that he need not do anything more to earn your love. He is bound to neglect his responsibilities in the relationship and at the same time, be unappreciative of the extra effort you are putting in.
Let him be the man he wants to be. This is the best way to trigger his hero instinct.
15. Seek his advice.
There is no better way to boost his ego than by seeking his advice, especially if it concerns his area of expertise. He will come alive and go the extra mile to ensure that your problem is sorted out to your satisfaction. Whether it is a technical issue related to a situation at your workplace or something concerning your personal life, you are assured of the best help when you seek his advice on the matter.
You can literally see his hero instinct come alive when you approach him with your problem. He will feel that you appreciate his abilities with this gesture. In a way, you are letting him know that you respect him.
Sample texts to trigger hero instinct
You need not always interact with him in person to trigger his hero instinct. You can also text him.
Here are a few examples of hero instinct phrases to text him and get you started.
“Help! Help!. There is a bug in my room. Can you make it go away?”
“I think there is something wrong with my car. Can you take a look?”
“My laptop is acting up again. Do you think you can fix it?”
“Am moving houses this Saturday. Can you lend me a hand?”
“Thanks for the ride to work today. You made my day better.”
“Yesterday’s dinner was superb. You really can cook up a storm.”
“I love the flowers you sent me today. It cheered me up and made my day.”
“You look so handsome in that new hairstyle.”
“It is wonderful that you got promoted. I’m so proud of you.”
“I love being with you. You are my best friend”.
Bottom line
James Bauer, when he explained the concept of hero instinct phrases, made it clear that this is not some “trick to use on men.” His Secret Obsession phrases are more like a way to connect the two of you. If you see or use the hero instinct phrases to trick your partner into doing your bidding, it will not work in the long run. Sooner or later, he will get wise to your hero instinct secret and walk away from it.
Even though the primary objective of triggering the hero instinct is to help him feel that he is protecting and providing for you, it means much more than this. It gives him a purpose in life. It makes his life worth living.
If you want to learn more about How to Trigger a Man’s Hero Instinct, check out His Secret Obsession Review. You’ll learn everything you need to know about how to make a man feel like your hero. So check it out now!