It’s hard to reach a consensus on anything. However, a topic most people would agree on is the hardship of maintaining a relationship.
Relationships are hard work, no doubt. This is the reason why we have so many professionals working in this area – therapists, counselors, relationship coaches, and psychologists specializing in relationships.
Realizing the difficulty faced by couples, relationship experts have come up with innovative ways to deal with common issues. For those who are reluctant to approach a relationship expert for help, there are numerous books on the topic advising them on how to improve their relationship.
His Secret Obsession book is not a run-of-the-mill relationship guide. Besides offering you solutions to your relationship dilemmas, it also helps you navigate its treacherous waters by holding your hand all the while. The author, James Bauer, in the book’s introduction promises each reader the magical key that can unlock a whole new world of possibilities for their romantic life.
This is not the first relationship guide in the market or the last. So, naturally, as a prospective buyer, you would like to know if this book is worth buying.
Read on for an in-depth analysis of “His Secret Obsession”.
What is His Secret Obsession?
The author, James Bauer, describes this book as the official course material for the His Secret Obsession program. It is available only in ebook formats on its official website.
Unlike most relationship guides, this one doesn’t stop at offering advice to improve your relationship. This book actually reveals how you can make a man more committed in the relationship and provides you with tools to make this possible.
His Secret Obsession begins by exploring and identifying the issues women face in relationships. The author confirms what we already believe to be true. Men and women approach a relationship from different angles and their expectations are also varied.
There is a huge chasm that separates what a man and a woman desire in their relationship. Unless this gap is bridged, they will find it impossible to forge a healthy union.
This book reveals the secret obsession of men and offers suggestions on how a woman can deal with it. It also offers the perfect tool to bridge this gap – the hero instinct. The book also gives suggestions on how a woman can tap into her man’s hero instinct using words, phrases, and text messages.
His Secret Obsession correctly points out that most women are clueless about the workings of a man’s mind. The book gives an authentic account of the expectations of men, their thoughts, and their emotions. Armed with this information, a woman will be in a better position in the relationship.
James Bauer made use of his extensive experience as a psychologist and relationship coach to come up with a solution to the common problems couples face. This book is a must-read for women who want to trigger the secret obsession in their partners and set their relationships on the correct course.
What is hero instinct?
The book His Secret Obsession revolves around the hero instinct in men. James Bauer tells us that this is a primal instinct present in all men and when triggered, it can make men more committed in the relationship.
Let’s understand the concept of hero instinct in detail.
His Secret Obsession describes how hero instinct materializes in men. It becomes evident when men:
- Provide for the family
- Shields them from dangers
- Lead a meaningful life and receive appreciation for his efforts
- Earn respect in the friends’ circle and society
Unfortunately, a man cannot self-trigger his hero instinct. Only the woman in his life can activate it. The book gives a few options for a woman to make this happen. Such as, asking for help.
Unless the woman acknowledges the man’s efforts and shows him the respect he deserves, his hero instinct won’t be triggered. In the book, James Bauer describes in detail various ways in which a woman can make the man in her life feel like her hero.
What can you expect in the book?
His Secret Obsession is a two-part book comprising 17 modules with 184 pages. While Part One explains the most common situations where women falter and go wrong, along with what they can do to improve. It also provides the solution – the hero instinct.
Part Two deals with the practical aspects of triggering the hero instinct in a man. Here, it is described in detail with examples of how a woman can make use of the signals. The book offers 6 signals to choose from.
Part One: How the hero instinct works?
Divided into 11 modules, the first part of the book is entirely devoted to hero instinct and how it can save your relationship. The author starts by listing how things can go wrong in a relationship and the gap in the desires of men and women.
It goes on to tell us that all men have secret desires that they will never admit. However, a woman can help him understand this and trigger fascination for her. The book explains why men hesitate to commit or at times run away from it and what he means by “I’m not ready”.
By learning the psychology of men, women can turn things around in a relationship. When she has the secret key to his heart, she can pull the strings precisely to get what she desires.
The author warns in the beginning itself that you may not get it right the first time. You may have read and reread the book to get a thorough understanding of how it works. Moreover, he also explains that this is not something you can do once and forget about it. If you want a long and happy relationship, you need to continue following the same actions.
Part Two: How to use the signals?
While the first part gives you theoretical knowledge about hero instinct and how you can trigger a man’s hero instinct, the second part is all about the practical aspects of the same.
The author describes techniques to retain the affection and attention of a man. Detailed in 6 modules, these are:
- “The Private Island” Signal
- The “X-ray Question”
- The Glimpse Phrase
- The Secret “Currency” Of Happy Relationships
- The “I Owe You” Signal
- The “Damsel in Distress” Signal
- The “Ex-back” Signal
- The “Silent Action” Signal
- The “Fascination” Signal
James Bauer, in the book, explains how you can weave these signals into your life with real-life examples. He has also included a wide range of phrases and texts you can use to give out these signals.
Here is a short introduction to these signals.
1. “The Private Island” Signal
This is a good choice for you if your partner is struggling to make up his mind about you. This can be because of his fear of commitment or his inability to make a decision. This signal will help him see you the way you want him to and convince him that you are “The One” for him.
This method involves using the “Private Island” messages. It will help him see you as the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with.
2. The “X-ray Question”
If your partner is hesitating to open up to you, you may have a hard time triggering his hero instinct. For this, you need to know his innermost dreams and desires. In other words, you have to develop X-ray vision to figure this out and ask the right questions to get him to open up to you.
This method makes use of an individual’s passion for things he wants in life. Even if this is unrelated to you or your relationship with him, you can get him into intimate conversation with you.
3. The Glimpse Phrase
You can use this method to draw him closer to you. By allowing him a peek into your mind, you can arouse his curiosity. Moreover, if you maintain the mystery element, you can trigger his interest in you and he would be intrigued to find out more about you.
Only when he gets to know you well, will he start planning a future with you. You can set the ball rolling with the right kind of phrases.
4. The Secret “Currency” Of Happy Relationships
You may find yourself in a situation where waiting for the right moment is taking forever. In this method, you get proactive and break the ice. This happens when you introduce “emotional currency” in your relationship.
With this, you are creating the right environment to kickstart your relationship and let it flourish. This signal involves the display of sincere appreciation. This is a fail-safe way to trigger a man’s hero instinct.
5. The “I Owe You” Signal
This makes use of another trigger for hero instinct – his yearning to feel indispensable, important, and needed. This signal is effective irrespective of the stage you are in the relationship.
Asking for help is the easiest way for you to send this signal. The book offers a wide range of template situations to further simplify this for you.
6. The “Damsel in Distress” Signal
This is a classic move at least some women are aware of. The author shows how you can best use this signal to achieve what you set out to do – triggering his hero instinct and making him commit more.
Men have a deep desire to protect and provide for the people they love. They are ready to do whatever it takes to be your hero. You can boost his feelings for you by letting him know how much you appreciate, admire, and respect him.
This doesn’t mean you have to act helpless or incapable. In fact, he will feel prouder knowing that a competent woman is asking for his help. With this, you are inviting him to play a role in your life as well as giving him purpose.
7. The “Ex-back” Signal
This is ideal for women who want to get back with their ex. If you are taking a short break from the relationship or recently broke up with your partner and regret it, this method is highly effective. If you have stayed apart for a long time, this may not bring you positive results.
This method involves easy and simple tactics such as sending a carefully chosen 12-word text.
8. The “Silent Action” Signal
As the name suggests, this method doesn’t involve words or verbal communication. Using non-verbal gestures and body language, the book teaches you how to communicate the right message to your partner.
This is an excellent choice for you if you have found the right one but he is not making the right moves. With this signal, you can catch his attention and let him know your interest in him.
9. The “Fascination” Signal
This signal will awaken his fascination in you, whether you are together or separated by distance. You may use this to embed your image in his mind if you are looking for ways to transform your friendship into something more. This is also highly effective if your relationship has lost spark and you want to rekindle it.
If you want to trigger emotional attachment in your partner and convert his “I”s into “We”s, look no further.
His Secret Obsession: 12-word text revealed
To use the signals described above, one of the methods detailed by the author is the 12-word text. As the name suggests, it is a 12-word text message that you sent to your partner.
James Bauer tells us that all you need are 12 words to trigger the hero instinct in a man. However, at the outset itself, the author warns you against focusing only on this and ignoring the remaining parts of the book. If you are thinking of extracting just this information from the book and skipping the rest, you may end up using it incorrectly.
Moreover, there is no single 12 word text to get him back. There is no magic 12-word text that will work for everyone in every situation. You need to come up with this based on your assessment of the circumstances. Even for the same couple, the same 12 words will not always work.
His Secret Obsession review
This book begins by telling us where women go wrong in relationships. Even when they desire a loving, intimate relationship, their actions are contrary to this. James Bauer points out the common mistakes and how these can be rectified with minimum effort.
Besides the tips to foster a healthy relationship, the author goes a step further than typical relationship guides to tell us about the hero instinct. According to him, this is his secret obsession and the shortcut to a man’s heart.
He tells us that men are not complicated as they are made out to be. All they want in a relationship is to be the protectors and providers. In short, they want to be heroes in your eyes. To get him more interested in you and the relationship, all you need to do is trigger his hero instinct.
In the book, James Bauer draws up plans on how to make this happen without losing your freedom, dignity, or individuality.
There is some truth in the author’s claims and suggestions. Irrespective of whether a man is an alpha male or not, providing and protecting his loved ones is ingrained in his DNA.
The psychological reasoning provided for each suggestion and the explanation offered through real-life examples make this book stand out among the hundreds of relationship guides available on the market.
As a bonus, James Bauer has included a “7-day quick start action guide” workbook to walk you through the process and help you get started. Both books are available for download in PDF format, while His Secret Obsession is also available in audio format for download and video format for viewing online.
Here is a quick look at the pros and cons of the book.
- Comes with practical suggestions
- Methods are based on psychology
- Written after extensive research
- Easy to access
- 6-day money-back guarantee
- Includes a workbook and some bonus materials
- Available only in ebook and audio formats (No hardcopies)
- Need to read the whole book (No shortcuts or summaries)
- The layout and navigation of the ebook need improvement
- Psychological explanations are at times hard to grasp
- The price of $47 is too high for a relationship guide. However, when you consider the bonuses and support that come with it, the price is worth it. Plus, you can always try it out for 6 days and see if it works for you.
Frequently asked questions
Does His Secret Obsession method really work?
In our effort to be modern and politically correct, we seem to have forgotten and lost touch with our primal instincts. The hero instinct was clearly evident in men until the time men were seen as the providers and women tended to the household.
Our mindsets may have changed but the genetic material needs much more time to keep up with the change. This means men continue to have the hero instinct though it remains dormant.
Everything the book talks about and suggests is deep-rooted in psychology. Moreover, the feedback from satisfied buyers attests to its efficacy and success.
So, yes, it indeed works.
Is it good only in the beginning stages?
Not at all. While some of the signals are more effective in the early stages of the relationship, there are others like the “Fascination” signal that work better for older relationships.
The author has listed the relationship stages where the method has proved its effectiveness time and again. These are:
- Attraction Stage
- Dating but Falling Apart Stage
- Re-Spark Stage
- Ex-Back Stage
Does the book guarantee success?
The official website of the book is beirresistible.com. Every purchase of the book comes with a 60-day 100% money-back guarantee. The website invites readers to test any product or course. In case you find it unsuitable or feel dissatisfied with it, all you need to do is to request a refund.
Where can you buy the book?
His Secret Obsession is available only in ebook format. It is offered in both PDF and epub formats. You can access the book by clicking here. The website assures customers that “all transactions are processed through secure third party vendors which use bank-level encryption to protect your data”.
How much is the book priced?
His Secret Obsession book is priced at $47. This includes the approximately 200-page ebook, a workbook, and some bonus materials.
Because of the popularity of the book, there exist other books of the same name, some of these being sold on reputed sites like amazon.com. Beware of imitations. The book is also available on the black market. Some websites are also claiming that it is available for free download.
If you buy the book from anywhere else other than the official website, there is no guarantee that you are buying the original His Secret Obsession book.
How can you get in touch with the author/website?
You may call the toll-free number 1-800-755-4364 for any assistance. For more help, click here. The customer support team is available 24x7 to respond to queries and resolve issues for you. You may also use the chat option available on the website to contact customer support. You can open the chat box by clicking on the blue chat icon at the bottom right-hand side.
Is the book worth buying? This is the question every book review tries to answer honestly. To answer this, we need to find answers to these points.
- Does it offer anything new?
- Does it trigger your mind?
- Is it practical?
Here, the answer is “yes” to all of the above. The book delivers well in all these areas.
That said, there are cheaper alternatives available for you to consider. The price of $47 is high for a relationship guide. But this book is not just a dating guide but a comprehensive program that you can use to improve your relationship for years.
When considered from that angle, His Secret Obsession book is definitely worth buying. As James Bauer points out, no success will bring you happiness until your relationship is hale and hearty.
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