In the context of love, romance, and relationship, one word often bandied about is “chemistry”. It can be hard to know if you have chemistry with someone. That’s why we created this free guide to help you find out.
You may have come across this “chemistry” in romantic books and movies. Is it purely fiction like their premise?
If you ask for a definition, you may get answers such as it is the undefinable or the mystery element, or the “x”-factor in a relationship between two individuals.
This answer is fine as long as you know how to access this x-factor or how to tell whether you have it or not.
Read on to learn more about chemistry in a relationship – its meaning, how to build it, and how to detect its presence in your relationship.
What is meant by chemistry in a relationship?
Have you ever felt an unexplainable attraction towards another person from the first meeting? It is as if something clicked and you feel helpless about the magnetic pull you experience. Your intuition tells you that this is the One.
Is it merely physical attraction? Do two people with good chemistry connect on other levels?
As said earlier, relationship chemistry is hard to define or put into words. It is a confluence of various feelings and experiences. Despite this handicap, we can give it a try.
The chemistry between two people is a combination of all these things and more. It includes physical attraction, emotional connection, passions, desires, urges, and longings that are out of your control. It is the coming together of physical chemistry and emotional chemistry.
The most vital aspect of chemistry is that you cannot create it or force it. It happens naturally and all you can do is recognize it and experience it. You have no way of denying or controlling it either.
It is chemistry. It just happens. All you can do is enjoy it and take it forward.
How can you build on your chemistry with someone?
Relationship experts tell us that chemistry is like a spark that doesn’t last for long in a relationship unless you actively encourage it to develop. Without your intervention, it will die out eventually.
Let’s find out how to improve your chemistry with someone.
- Set apart time to get to know each other.
- Spend more time alone with each other.
- Don’t overthink things. Just let it happen.
- Engage in couples’ activities.
- Pay attention to body language.
- Stop comparing this relationship with others.
- Engage in activities that promote intimacy.
What works for one may not have any effect on others. Scheduled sex, dirty talk, role play, pushing each other out of the comfort zone, or gazing into each other’s eyes – choose the ones that work for you and your partner.
10 signs you have strong chemistry with someone
Though the aftermath of “chemistry” is unique for everyone, it is possible to find some common threads in all of them. It may vary in the intensity of feelings, emotions, and perception. The most obvious point you would notice is the surge in emotions experienced.
Often these emotions are conflicting in nature as well. Such as calm and excited, happy and nervous, or healing and raging. You have that homecoming feeling but you feel as if you are about to explode.
Here are clear signs of chemistry or connection between two people.
1. You feel drawn to each other.
You meet many people every day but with this one person, you feel different. You feel pulled towards them like a magnet. No matter how much you dig, you cannot find the reason for this attraction. You feel as if you have known each other for ages though you recently met.
2. You can’t keep your eyes off each other.
Even though you feel embarrassed by it, you can’t help your eyes straying towards this person. You take furtive glances as often as you can. When nothing works, you stare at them unabashedly. When the other person catches you at it, you feel shy and look away as if nothing is going on.
3. You have a constant smile on your lips.
It is as if you are enjoying yourself and everything is perfect in your world. There is a song in your heart and spring in your step. You feel disconnected from the present and find yourself floating in the dream world. In your world, there are no clouds in the sky and the sun is shining bright.
4. You are always on the same page.
You understand each other so well that even if you do not agree on everything, you can see their viewpoint and find common ground. In a way this is obvious. Probably it is your common interests and similar outlooks that brought you together. You may even start thinking that this person understands you better than you can yourself.
5. You can spend hours together in silence.
You do not feel compelled to maintain conversations when you are with this person. There are no awkward silences like it happens with others. You are relaxed and enjoying every moment spent with them. You speak when you have to say something and not because you have to fill in the pauses.
6. You feel butterflies in your stomach.
It is not because you are anxious. It is a welcome sensation. You feel nervous and excited at the same time. Every time you meet this person, it seems like the first time. Whenever you hear the voice, your heart leaps up with joy. Repeated dates don’t lose the charm or take away the anticipation or excitement.
7. You are always looking forward to the next date.
Even after spending hours together, right after parting, you eagerly await the next meeting. You start counting days, hours, and minutes for the next time you can be together. On the other hand, when you are together, you lose track of time. You practically live for the next time you can see each other.
8. You don’t feel annoyed by their actions.
You may have many common interests but no two individuals can be a perfect match. You are bound to have differences. In other people, this is a cause for irritation. But if you are feeling chemistry with a person, nothing they do will annoy you. You don’t see any bad intentions behind their actions.
9. You want more of it.
The more you know them, the more you want them. You can never get enough of them. You want to see them as often as possible, talk to them and spend time together. You want to know more about them. You are fascinated by the person and enjoy the attention you are getting. All you can think when you are apart is about this one person.
10. You are at your best self when you are with them.
This is something you like the most about the person. They bring out the best in you and you like the person you become when you are together. You like the fact that this person has a positive influence on you and you feel absolutely comfortable about this.
This feeling or experience is called chemistry for a reason. If you care to dig deeper and understand why it happens, it all makes sense. When you meet someone and start feeling that they are the One, it doesn’t end there.
When you like a person, it has many aftereffects on your body. Your brain begins to release happy hormones like pheromones, adrenaline, oxytocin, and dopamine. These chemicals do the rest of the work for you.
Having chemistry with someone is as hard to find as a 5-leaf clover. If you are fortunate to find it, don’t squander the chance but try to make the best of it.