So, you fell head over heels in love with this girl, spent some wonderful years pursuing her, trying to convince her to marry you. And when she finally said “yes”, your joy knew no bounds.
And your wedding was something straight out of a fairy tale. This story should end with “happily ever after”.
However, this is only the beginning of the journey together. Fairy tales never mention the mines strewn all over the path ahead. Step on one and Poof! There goes your dream.
Getting married doesn’t mean the rest of your life will be all roses and sunshine. At no point in life, you can sit back and say that your life is made and settled down.
All relationships need constant nurturing to survive the ravages of everyday life, especially so for couples. You need to invest time and effort to make it work.
When things are going great, it is natural to take things for granted and let it slide. Once the rot sets in, you would have to put in that much more effort to get back the lost love and trust.
And, if you allow the relationship to decline and it has already touched rock bottom, there won’t be any love or trust left in it. Falling out of love doesn’t happen overnight. Over days, months, or years, you finally drift apart.
However, the realization of the state of your marriage may happen to you suddenly. You may wake up one fine day and recognize that your marriage has broken down. This sudden awareness happens more among men. They get too caught up in the daily rush and allow things to decline to such levels that it is often too late to do anything.
However, as the saying goes, it ain’t over until it is over. Even if there is no love or trust left in the relationship and you can barely stand each other, just the fact that you are still together is a good sign. Like a drowning man clutching at a straw, you can hold on to this and climb out of the mess you created.
This article explores the reasons why couples fall out of love and signs your wife has fallen out of love. Here you will find answers to what are the expectations of women and how to get your wife to fall in love with you again.
Why do couples fall out of love?
People fall in love in the first place because they think the other person is the right one for them. When they get to know each other better, they may realize that their perception was wrong. When there are constant disagreements and arguments, they conclude that they are not right for each other.
For two individuals to come together and form a relationship, they need to discard their individuality at least to some extent, and learn to accommodate each other’s preferences. They learn to trust and depend on each other, thus forming a beautiful bond.
However, in some relationships, this “give and take” arrangement tends to be lop-sided. One will be taking more and the other giving more. This is when love disappears and the relationship turns toxic into codependency.
Some are attracted and fall in love because of their physical attributes or character. Over years, people do change and this can adversely affect a relationship.
The initial days of romance are exciting and exhilarating and everything looks perfect and lovely. After you get married and settle down into regular life, some find it dull and boring and long for the carefree days. They refuse to accept that the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever. This leads to disappointments and frustrations and ends up with them falling out of love.
There are some couples in which one partner is too timid and scared of conflict. They are always trying to please and placate the partner. They get pushed over and treated like a doormat. This is bound to build up hurt, resentment, and frustration over time. And, there goes love.
What do women want and expect in a marriage?
Many men complain that women are too mysterious and complicated and too hard to decipher or understand. This is just an excuse for not putting in the effort to understand the person.
These are the normal things that a wife expects from her marriage.
Partnership: Sharing work and responsibilities at home
Appreciation: A kind word or a lovely gesture means a lot. It hurts when you are taken for granted.
Respect: Marriage is an equal partnership and this means both partners bring equal value to it. And expects to be respected for it.
Trust: Love and trust go together. Acting irresponsibly at times can break the trust and thereby love.
Support: That is one of the main objectives of a relationship – offering support to each other to realize their goals and potential.
Understanding and care: At least a basic understanding of the likes and dislikes preferences and aversions are necessary. And marriage is all about caring for each other.
Signs that your wife has fallen out of love with you
- She is not interested in you anymore.
- She is not paying attention to what you are doing.
- She doesn’t want to argue with you.
- She stopped caring for you or your needs.
- She goes out alone a lot.
- She is not interested in spending time with you.
- Physical intimacy is either absent or without emotions.
- She is irritable and short-tempered around you.
- She doesn’t share her thoughts or feelings.
- She is not enthusiastic about the relationship.
How to win back the love of your wife?
If you are serious about your marriage and want to revive the relationship, remember that it is an uphill task. Gaining back lost trust and love is no easy matter. But it is hard doesn’t mean that it cannot be done.
Here are some ways to reignite the love in your wife and make her fall back in love with you.
1. Own up your share of the faults
When a relationship falls apart, both partners must have contributed to it. As a first step at reconciliation, own up your faults. Be the first one to make the move and apologize for your mistakes.
However, there is a difference between apologizing for things you have done and apologizing for things outside of your control. You may also want to take a look at our guide on constantly apologizing in a relationship.
2. End the blame game
Blaming each other for the dismal state of your marriage is common but sad. It achieves nothing and can only make matters worse. So, just stop it.
3. Stop yelling matches
You are indeed feeling frustrated and angry that things are not exactly as you would like them to be. Shouting and screaming are not helping. Learn to control your anger.
4. Understand why it happened
You loved each other at some point in the past. Retrace your steps to find out why your relationship is where it is now. This is vital on two counts. Knowing where you went wrong can help you rectify it and win back your wife. Also, it can help you avoid repeating the same mistakes.
5. Go back to square one and restart
This is easier said than done. If you can convince your wife to reboot your relationship, it is a definite victory. This may not happen in a day or two. Don’t give up and use all your charm and persuasive powers to convince her.
6. Talk to her
Good communication is an essential part of a healthy relationship. A break in communication is the first sign of a relationship going downhill. Reopen the communication channels with your wife. Remove all distractions and give her your complete attention.
7. Be kind, compassionate, and caring
You were loving, caring, and kind to her once upon a time. Somewhere along the way, these precious qualities got lost. Rediscover them and show her that you are still capable of loving her like you used to.
8. Spend more time together
Couples gradually move apart when they spend less time with each other. Reverse the trend and find more time for each other. You can go out together or do activities. Or just be at home, cook meals together, or watch TV.
9. Be open about your love and appreciation
Do you remember how often you used to tell her that you loved her? Or how you like the way she furnished the home or how organized and disciplined she is. You used to love everything about her and told her so. Now you no longer bother to tell her. Restart the old habit. She would like nothing better than that.
10. Prove that you are trustworthy
She has lost her faith in you now. To gain it back you need to be calm, patient, and prudent. Trust is the hardest to win back but not impossible. Through the right kind of actions, words, and gestures, you can get your wife to trust you again eventually.
Mending a broken marriage is a challenging task. But if you think your marriage is worth saving and you are up for the task, you should not shy away from the hard work it requires. Patience and perseverance can help you win back your wife’s love in time.
“At the end of the day, you can either focus on what’s tearing you apart or what’s keeping you together.” – Anonymous