Narcissists are after all narcissists. Normal relationship rules don’t apply to them.
So, if you want to find a way to make a narcissist obsessed with you, you may have to think from their angle. You need to find a way to beat them at their game.
If you are trying to find an answer to the question “How to make a narcissist obsessed with you?”, read on.
This article focuses on narcissists and their unique character traits. Despite them not playing by the rules, you can still get your way with a narcissist if you know what you are doing. Here you will find ways to make a narcissist obsessed with you. This article also offers you the signs a narcissist is obsessed with you.
5 ways to make a narcissist obsessed with you
If you want to make a narcissist obsessed with you, you may have to do things you have never considered doing or done before in your life. It mostly involves mental manipulation, the same trick that the narcissist uses on you.
1. Get their attention
Narcissists are smug and vain and obsessed with what society values. They are well-known to follow the rules laid down by society blindly. Narcissists like over-the-top displays, glamor, and finer things in life. They like to flaunt their possessions for all the world to see.
These traits make a narcissist weak and vulnerable. You can use the flaws in their character to your advantage and get their attention. Here are a few suggestions for you to try.
Amp up your physical appeal
You are useful to a narcissist mainly on two fronts. As a source of narcissistic supply or someone for them to control and manipulate. And also as someone to flaunt before others, like a trophy. A narcissist would be searching for the best-looking partner to one-up their friends. In the same way they would like to have the best or most expensive car or a swanky and luxurious home.
A narcissist feels that they need to stay on top of the game and make others envy them all the time. If not, they feel incomplete. You can exploit this tendency in a narcissist to grab their attention. Ensure that you look a million bucks. They will come chasing you in no time.
Pay them no attention
Ignoring a narcissist is a sure-shot way to grab their attention. They feel an intense need to be at the center of everyone’s attention all the time. You can catch their eye when you ignore them. This is not something they can ignore or tolerate. They will come chasing you and make you change your mind about them.
When you ignore a narcissist, they would be like, “How dare you?”
Use the opportunity to your advantage.
Be haughty and behave arrogantly
In case ignoring is not working, this is sure to. On no account can a narcissist accept your behavior. When you act snobbish or pretentious, they will come at you with hammer and tongs to destroy you. They will try to attack your confidence and self-esteem and make as big a dent in it if they can.
A narcissist invariably falls for this trick for many reasons. They cannot tolerate anyone disrespecting or challenging them. Also by destroying and lowering your self-esteem, you become the perfect narcissistic supply for them. Moreover, victory over you will give them the perfect morale boost. They won’t be able to resist the opportunity.
If you want to catch the attention of a narcissist, behave with confidence and self-respect. If you can take it a step further and be proud and conceited, the better.
2. Desist from committing
Once you say yes and give your assurance, a narcissist will stop chasing you. They will consider you a steady narcissistic supply that they need not worry about anymore. With you confirming your availability to the narcissist, they feel they can focus on other important things.
Narcissists are highly strategic in their relationships. They enter a relationship with only one intention. They want to get you captivated, addicted, and dependent on them so that you will become their regular source of narcissistic supply.
The moment you commit, you are giving up the upper hand and your advantage. A narcissist will make you pledge your devotion to them in clearly defined stages.
Idealization or Love bombing: The narcissist will shower you with love, attention, and gifts to sweep you off your feet at the beginning of the relationship.
Devaluation: Once the narcissist is sure that you have fallen for them hook, line, and sinker, they will switch off their loving persona and switch on the meanest one. This transformation can leave you gaping and wondering what hit you.
The narcissist will pull you down so hard and so consistently that you’ll find it hard to get back on your feet. As your self-esteem plunges lower, they will find it easier to tear you down.
Rejection or Discard: When you have nothing left to offer to the narcissist or the narcissist has no more use for you, they will leave you most cruelly. It may be so brutal that it may leave you gasping for breath.
Most probably, the narcissist must have found a replacement for you or you must have gotten wise to their manipulative ways. The narcissist may have reasons to believe that you are no longer a good narcissistic supply.
If the narcissist discovers new facts to support the belief that you can be reinvented as their narcissistic supply, they may go into “Repeat” mode. They will go back to the idealization or love bombing stage and repeat the entire process.
On your part, you may be able to make a narcissist want you back. A narcissist may repeat the stages of the relationship multiple times before discarding you permanently.
3. Flirt or pay attention to others
One thing a narcissist wants without argument or debate is your whole-hearted attention and adoration. When you deliberately pay more attention to others, especially someone who can be considered partner-material, it is sure to get the attention of the narcissist.
Make sure you keep it subtle but noticeable. Under no circumstances overdo the act. You will find the narcissist sulking and worried. They may try to start a discussion or an argument. They will try harder to gain back your attention and admiration.
4. Resist the temptation to praise or give compliments
The narcissist will consider this a step before assuring your commitment – a step in the right direction. The only way to keep the narcissist on their toes and keep them guessing is by not giving out any positive signs. As long as the narcissist doesn’t get any assurance from you, they will continue to chase you and will be obsessed with you.
5. Act busy
As long as you have not assured your commitment to the relationship, the narcissist will continue to give you their complete attention. As part of their strategy to win you over, they will try to spend as much time as they can with you. You can use this to your advantage.
Whenever they want to meet up with you, act busy. Use evasive tactics to escape such situations. When they call or text, don’t answer immediately. Give some time before you respond. Whenever they want to meet up, tell them that you have some other commitment.
Once you’re hooked, the narcissist will move on to the devaluation stage. By acting slippery, you can keep them on their toes and obsessed with you.
Signs a narcissist is obsessed with you
In case you want to check whether your trick is working, you may look out for these signs.
- They are well aware of what is going on in your life.
- You bump into them everywhere you go.
- They are curious to know more about you.
- They talk a lot about themselves.
- They are jealous when you pay attention to someone else.
- They may pretend to be jealous to get your attention or guilt-trip you.
- They will spend every moment of their free time with you.
- They will try to be the center of your Universe.
- They call/ text you for no specific reason.
- They follow you obsessively on social media.
If you know how to handle a narcissist, you can make them jump through hoops. You can make them do whatever you want. But before going down the path to make a narcissist obsessed with you, you should seriously consider whether this is a good idea.
For one thing, this is a tricky and risky game to play. You should remember that a narcissistic relationship is not a healthy one. When you trick them into narcissist obsession with you, it’s happening for the wrong reasons. Obsessive love disorder and narcissism have a lot in common.
When you refuse to commit and go past the love bombing stage, the narcissist may feel frustrated and come down hard on you. As they are ruthless when they want to be, you may find it hard to take.
Finally, you need to ask yourself whether you want to waste your time, energy, and feelings on a narcissistic person. Do you really want to be on the slippery slope, unsure of your footing and where you will end up? The relationship will wear you out sooner or later.
Even when a narcissist becomes obsessed with you on their own, you may feel like running away and hiding somewhere they can’t find you. Narcissistic abuse is as real as it can be. To make a narcissist obsessed with you may be hard but not a desirable situation to be in, especially if it is a covert narcissist obsession.
Think twice, thrice, or more before you decide to go down this path.