Nothing can be more heartbreaking than letting go of someone you still love and hold dear. Unfortunately, life can be really hard. After all, nobody promised you that life will treat you fairly all the time. Maybe this is one of those times it chose to turn its back on you.
Don’t worry. This too shall pass. Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty and figure out how to move on with life and survive this trauma.
You fell hard for this person and loved them with all your heart. Even now, you find it difficult to imagine how you can survive without this person who you consider as the love of your life. Regrettably, things did not work for the two of you and your partner wants to part ways.
You may or may not have agreed to this breakup. This is not relevant as a relationship cannot survive without the consent of both partners.
One moment life was full of promise and the future looked rosy and bright. The next everything came crashing down like a ton of bricks. You never saw it coming. You haven’t got a clue what hit you.
Naturally, you are upset. “Upset” might not do justice to what you are feeling right now. You are on the verge of losing it.
You feel intense emotions of the negative kind – sadness, anger, confusion, frustration, loss, exhaustion, grief, loneliness – the list is endless. With so many emotions flooding your mind, you are overwhelmed by it all. You are at a loss how to deal with them and process them.
With the right kind of support, you will be able to figure this out. Or else, these extreme emotions may push you over the edge.
This article offers you the kind of support you are looking for in your hour of need. You will find here the resources you need to fight off the cloud of negativity enveloping you and overcome the painful episode.
Why do breakups hurt so bad?
Breakups can turn your life upside down. It triggers feelings of rejection and abandonment. Your mind will be so overcome by emotions that it will be forced to shut down and go into a fight-or-flight mode. This can set off a whole chain of events to deal with the perceived threat.
The level of happy hormones will come down and the stress hormones will go into overproduction mode. This will lead to your mind being drowned in a host of negative emotions. Your physical, mental, and emotional health is severely impacted.
You will be seeking a rational explanation to your questions “why?” and “why me?”. Breakups just hit you hard and do not bother to offer any explanations or answers.
All this while you were dreaming of building a life together with the love of your life. When it came crashing down, you lost everything you worked for until now. This feeling can be overwhelming. It is like losing your life savings in the blink of an eye.
Besides all these, you also need to deal with the handling of everyday affairs. You find yourself living alone again. There is no one to return home to or share the expenditure. You are at a loss how to manage.
8 Steps to get over a breakup with someone you love
Break up is bad enough. Just when you thought it cannot get worse, you discover that you’re still in love with your ex. To let go of someone you love must rank among the hardest things to do for humans.
When you are left with no choice, you will ultimately find a way. Here are suggestions to help you deal with the situation you find yourself in.
1. Try your best to convince your boyfriend/girlfriend
Without this step, you may find it difficult to find closure. You may feel regret that you could have done something to save the relationship. Try every single idea that you can think of, even if you know that none of them will help.
2. Convince yourself that it’s over
Once you have shot all of your arrows, it is time you reconcile to the situation. Whether you want it or not, like it or not, this is how it is. After all, how can you ever manage to hold on to someone when they don’t want to be with you anymore. It is time to forget your ex.
3. Give yourself a glimmer of hope
You are finding it hard to close the door to the relationship completely. So, okay, leave it open a crack. Tell yourself that if you are meant to be together, your husband/wife will come back. In the initial days, this hope can prevent you from going over the edge.
4. Cut off communication
You may want to hold on to your ex in any way you can. They may accommodate your wish to keep the communication channel open to ease their guilty feelings. But with this, you are merely prolonging the agony. Stop contact with them at least for a while until things settle down.
5. Learn to let go
This is easier said than done. Letting go of memories or things connected to your ex is vital for you to move on in life. To expect this to happen at the snap of a finger is childish but you need to begin this process and make steady progress.
6. Focus on other things
Often when you are in a loving relationship, you are so consumed by it that you willingly let go of many of your desires. Now is the time to dig them up and revive them. Maybe it is old friendships or long-forgotten hobbies. Or your work was suffering due to lack of time. Dive into them headlong.
7. Find someone you can trust
You may be on an emotional roller coaster for a while. Some days are okay but you don’t know what to do with others. Having someone to talk to can help a lot. But choose your friends carefully. Opening up to a blabbermouth can backfire on you. It will only make matters worse.
8. Take your time to find your feet
After all, the ground vanished beneath your feet. Take it slow on your way back to feeling normal. There is no need to rush. This is especially valid if you want to get active on the dating scene. Allow yourself time to process the emotions and heal the wounds. Or else you may find yourself in more trouble.
Here are a few more tips to help you move on from an ex.
- Get physically active.
- Focus on people you love and who love you.
- Take time for self-care.
- Learn to love yourself.
- Find new passions and interests.
- Decide to be happy.
- Forgive your ex and wish them well.
- Teach yourself to be realistic.
- Accept the fact that you love your ex.
- Make peace with what happened.
Forgetting your ex and moving on in life is important for your mental health and wellbeing. You may have good days and bad ones. There may be days when all you can do is hold your ground. Consider that a positive step. At least you did not lose ground.
Promise yourself that you will never give up on yourself and work your way out of this mess you find yourself in. By taking one small step at a time, you can come out stronger and happier.