Breakup is hard enough, but it is all the more painful if you are at the receiving end. And to make matters worse, you are still in love with your ex. You will be a bundle of negative emotions at the same time desperately trying to get your ex back.
Nobody can blame you for feeling this way. It is understandable. However, the fact remains that you are not helping yourself. Or making any headway in winning back the affection of your ex. Let us see how you can use the law of attraction to get your ex back after months of no contact.
But before we discuss how to get ex back with law of attraction, let us put all the cards on the table and look at them rationally. And, let us set some grounds rules before proceeding further, as without them there would be mayhem and madness and nothing else. You wouldn’t stand a chance of having a healthy relationship, let alone having a go at winning your ex back.
No more tears.
No more blaming yourself.
No more guessing the reasons for the breakup.
No more replaying old scenes and feeling the intense pain.
No more isolating yourself, ashamed to show your face to the world.
No more self-pity, sleepless nights, shut off from the world unable to concentrate.
No more analyzing how you should have seen it coming and could have prevented it.
No more anger, hurt, sadness, desperation, and bitterness.
And, no more obsessing over your ex.
When you find yourself on the ditched end of the breakup, it is natural to commit the post-breakup mistakes and find yourself stuck inside a cold, deep, dark pit of depression. After suffering such a deathly blow, grieve you must. Give yourself some time to feel sad and upset. But at no point allow the feeling to consume you.
It is easier said than done. Remember that you need to regain your composure to have a shot at winning your ex back.
What is the law of attraction?
The law of attraction tells us how powerful our mind is and what it is capable of achieving. By channeling our thoughts and feelings on the right path, we can reshape our life and the world around us any which way we want to. Nothing is impossible to accomplish when you are armed with a positive mindset and a can-do attitude. It is as simple as that!
The law of attraction is not just about attracting love and improving relationships. It can help you achieve anything you desire including health, wealth, abundance, and happiness. If you can dream it, you can achieve it.
It is easy, that’s for sure. But manifesting with the law of attraction has its limitations as well. Using the law of attraction, we can make changes in our lives. However, we cannot directly change others or the way they see us or behave towards us. By changing our behavior, we can influence others indirectly. And, there are rules to follow.
The basic rules of the law of attraction
The sky is the limit to what you can manifest love with the law of attraction. However, you need to stick to certain guidelines for a successful manifestation. This is not only for getting your ex back but for manifesting any of your goals.
You can focus on what you want, but not on what you don’t want. The law of attraction doesn’t distinguish between positive and negative goals. The Universe brings you whatever you are focussing on. This means the focus needs to be on the positive aspect of your desire to achieve your intention. For example, you may choose your goal as “I want my ex back” but not “I don’t want her to forget me” or “I don’t want to lose him”. When you focus on negative emotions, you end up manifesting them and not what you actually want.
The intention needs to be pure for manifestation to succeed. If revenge is what you are after, don’t waste your time with this. If you want to get your girlfriend/boyfriend back only to break her/his heart later, this is not the route to take.
You may also want to take a look at our guide on how to manifest a boyfriend in 6 steps.
The same applies to acts of desperation. You can manifest what you want but not what you need. ‘Need‘ has a negative ring to it, while ‘want‘ is something positive. When you need someone or something, it shows your lack of control over self and your obsessive nature. You need to let go of your ‘needy’ behavior before you try to get your ex back.
You need to be 100% sure about what you want when you are manifesting goals using the law of attraction. You need to be crystal clear about what you want with as many details about it as you can bring to mind. No flipflops, no second thoughts, no self-doubt, and more importantly, no deceit and trickery. You need to be confident, consistent and possess an untainted positive attitude to succeed at realizing your desire. You need to send only positive vibes towards your ex.
It is important to think about your goal in the present tense as if you have already achieved it. Not as something you are trying or planning to get in the future, however near it may be. “I am back with my ex” is correct, while “I will try to get back with my ex” or “I will get back with my ex” are wrong.
For the law of attraction to work its magic and bring your girlfriend/boyfriend back, make sure you are fulfilling your part of the bargain. You need to accept your ex for who they are and allow them to be who they want to be. You need to respect their rights and liberties as a free person. There should be no attempt from your part to blame, control, and/or oppose the free will of your ex.
How does it work?
The principle of the law of attraction can be explained using the law of vibration. Everything in this Universe including people, animals, plants, and things is made up of energy. We know that all living and non-living things are made up of molecules and they vibrate at different frequencies. When the vibrational frequencies match, things get attracted to each other. When the equilibrium gets disturbed due to external influence, one or both the frequencies change. This results in disconnect and parting ways. Simply put in the law of attraction lingo, like attracts like.
Your relationship and breakup can be explained using the law. At some point in the past, you and your ex were on the same vibrational level and were attracted to each other. Later on, unfortunately, there was a disturbance in the balance due to reasons known or unknown to you. This resulted in dissimilarity in vibrational frequencies and you two drifted apart.
So, now we come to the obvious question. How can you use the law of attraction to get your ex back?
According to the law of attraction, to attract something good into your life, you need to ramp up your vibrational frequency. While good, positive things vibrate at higher frequencies, the not-so-good, negative things vibrate at comparatively lower frequencies. The higher your vibrational frequency, the better your chance of getting your ex back. This leads us to the question of how to increase your vibrational frequency.
You start vibrating at a higher frequency when you feel positive, confident, secure, optimistic, and happy. That means your vibrational strength comes from within yourself. For this to happen, you need to change how you see, feel, and think about yourself.
The law of attraction offers tools and techniques to improve your vibrational frequency to match that of your desire and thus helps you to manifest your goal. Some of them are explained in detail below.
The law of attraction techniques to get your ex back
The key to making your dream come true is to stay happy and positive. For this, you need to do things that make you happy. There is nothing you cannot achieve with a joyous and positive attitude. It is infinite times more powerful than negative emotions.
When your goal is to get your ex back, you need to let the Universe know this without any ambiguity. Be clear and detailed about your desire. When asking the Universe to fulfill your wish, you should not entertain any doubt about the ability of the Universe to make your wish come true. It is not your concern to worry about how the universe is going to bring your ex back to you, especially after such an ugly breakup. Trusting the Universe implicitly is critical to the realization of your desire.
Warning: Do not attempt any of these techniques right after the breakup. You will be desperate, depressed and a bundle of nerves. Are you calling your ex or sending text messages umpteen times a day? Stop stalking your ex. Start respecting yourself. Try no-contact tactic for some period until you recover from the breakup and get back your self-control. Give yourself time to heal. Get rid of all the negativity and regain your composure before you begin. This is absolutely necessary for the law of attraction to work its magic.
1. Positive Affirmations
You may think that you got rid of all your negative emotions before you began your manifestation process. But negativity is not that easy to eliminate. Any residual negative thoughts can be cleared away using positive affirmations. These are positive statements of your choice that you repeat to yourself multiple times every day. You may choose from the hundreds of existing affirmations or create one for yourself. One main criterion you need to pay attention to while choosing affirmations is that they should resonate with you and your goal. They should ring true to you.
Affirmations help convince yourself of your success and drive out the nagging doubtful thoughts. You can use affirmations to encourage yourself to stay positive and happy. You may take the help of affirmations to assure yourself that getting back together is the right choice.
Here are a few sample affirmations for you to choose from.
1. (name of the ex) and I are meant for each other.
2. I am getting back together with (name of the ex).
3. I truly love and respect (name of the ex).
4. I am getting back with (name of the ex) sooner than expected.
5. I am grateful for having (name of the ex) in my life.
6. I feel connected to (name of the ex) on a deep level.
7. (name of the ex) can sense my love and positive energy.
8. (name of the ex) is naturally attracted to me.
9. I am confident and happy.
10. I am overflowing with love and hope.
Early in the morning right after you wake up or at night just before you go to sleep are the ideal timings for affirmations. While morning affirmations set the right note to the day ahead, the bedtime affirmations continue to work with the subconscious mind to instill more positivity in you.
You can say them aloud, in a whisper or mind. Or else, you may write them in a journal, listen to their recording, or watch videos of these affirmations. You can also write them down in post-it notes or vision boards and display them in places you frequent. If you work with your laptop most of the day, it would be a good idea to include these affirmations in the electronic version of the vision board on your laptop. The whole idea is to be reminded of these thoughts as often as possible so that you stay in touch with these emotions every day.
This powerful technique involves creating images or scenes physically or mentally about your goal as if it has already materialized. Visualization is found to be highly effective in strengthening your motivational levels. It can help in eliminating stress and make you feel calm, relaxed, and confident. The most important of all, visualization can reprogram your brain into thinking that you have already achieved your goal and act accordingly. This will help you stay happy and positive, thus sending the right vibe to the Universe.
After a breakup, the thought of your ex incites negative emotions such as hurt, sadness, anger, and hopelessness in you. This is natural and fine as long as these emotions stay within bounds and are not detrimental or destructive. And, you should be able to get over these feelings in due course. Visualization comes to your aid in your hour of need and will help you do away with your negative emotions.
After practicing visualization for a few weeks, you will feel that getting back together is the right thing to do. You will feel comfortable and happy visualizing your future life with your ex. As you shared happy times in the early days of the relationship, it is possible to regain the vibes with a little effort on your part. The fallout in between was merely a temporary phase.
You can choose from an array of visualization tools to help you get back together with your ex. The vision board is a physical version while creative visualization is a mental exercise.
Vision Board: This is a visual display of your goals usually done on a display board with magazine cut-outs of images, inspirational quotes, and affirmations stuck on it. The process of creating the vision board itself is therapeutic and beneficial for you by connecting with your desires. A vision board is a very personal depiction of your dreams and so, anything that inspires and motivates you should find a place in it.
Vision Boards are hung in places you frequent such as your bedroom or office cabin. Nowadays when most people spend the bulk of their waking hours in front of their laptop or cell phone, it makes sense to have an electronic version of the vision board as a screen saver or wallpaper.
Creative Visualization: This is a mental exercise that helps you manifest your goals. In this, you visualize your life on achieving the goal and experience the emotions. Though you see yourself experiencing these exhilarating emotions in the future, as you regularly use the technique, you start feeling these emotions in real-time. This powerful tool can induce a drastic change in your mindset and remove deep-rooted negative feelings, behavior, and habits.
Creative visualization can help you to believe in yourself, regain self-confidence. reduce stress levels and improve your focus. It can reset your attitude to a happy and positive one permanently. which is one of the most vital conditions for a successful manifestation.
Meditation occupies a prominent place among the law of attraction techniques for manifestation. This performs the important task of keeping you calm, relaxed, stable, and resistant to disturbances. After a devastating breakup, staying calm, composed, and positive is crucial to attracting your ex back into your life.
Meditation is simple yet difficult to practice. All you need is a quiet and peaceful place to meditate. Just make sure that you are undisturbed for the duration. The difficult part for beginners in meditation is to keep your mind from wandering. With patience and practice keeping your mind reined in is possible. Remember not to be too hard on yourself and give yourself some leeway. Whenever you find your mind wandering, be gentle, and let it drift for a while and bring it back to focus in a kind and tender manner.
There are numerous types of meditation. One of the simplest and easy-to-practice meditative styles is detailed here.
- Find a secluded spot, free of external sounds and disturbance. In case, some background sounds are unavoidable, you may play soothing music to drown it out.
- Set up the ambiance with scented candles and soft lighting,
- Sit down in a comfortable position.
- Take a few deep breaths. Inhale and hold your breath for 5 seconds. Exhale slowly for 5 seconds.
- Breathe normally and focus on your breathing. Be aware of the air flowing in and out.
- Continue this for the duration. You may meditate for a fixed period or without a pre-set time limit.
The lotus position is the recommended pose for meditation. However, if you are not feeling comfortable sitting in this pose, you may avoid it in the beginning. You may try it at a later stage. By concentrating on your breathing while meditating helps in keeping your mind still and prevent it from drifting. When you are meditating for the first time, it is recommended to keep it limited to 5 or 10 minutes.
The feeling of gratitude for all the good things you are enjoying or ever enjoyed in life is the most important message you would want to send to the Universe when you are trying to woo your ex back. According to the law of attraction, the Universe is always striving to make you happy by fulfilling your desires. When you are trying to manifest your desires, you need to ask the Universe what you want with clarity and specifics. And, you need to make it known to the Universe what makes you happy so that the Universe can grant you your wish.
Expressing gratitude for your blessings is the easy way to let the Universe know what makes you happy so that you are thankful for it. The blessings need not be significant events in your life alone, it can be everyday happenings as well.
You can express your gratitude through positive affirmations. Here are a few sample affirmations expressing gratitude to get you started. You may write your own for a better impact.
- I am grateful to be alive and healthy.
- I am thankful to the Universe for all the blessings in my life.
- I am grateful for a lovely and loving family.
- I am grateful for all the friends I have, without whom my life would be dull and incomplete.
- I am forever grateful for the love I am capable of giving and the love I have received.
You can start a gratitude journal in which you can write down every single happening in your life that you feel thankful for. You may include the small and inconsequential events as well.
This journal will come in handy when writing affirmations to express gratitude. It can also help you when you are feeling low and out of luck. When you are feeling that the entire world is out to get you, reading your entries in this journal will help you realize how lucky you have been to receive such rich blessings from the Universe. This will transform you from being an unhappy and morose person to a happy, kind, and positive one.
Helpful hints to help you get your ex back
Even as you follow the steps of the law of attraction to get back together, you may find these tips useful for additional encouragement and support.
- Breakups are never clean or easy. It is natural to blame your ex for all the unhappiness and trouble in your life. The most vital first step after a breakup is to forgive your ex as well as yourself, irrespective of who you blame. You need to accept part ownership for the breakup, as a relationship involves two people and it is rare that the breakup is one person’s fault. Learn to let go. Forgiveness doesn’t come easy or effortlessly. It is hard work, but worth every bit of it.
- After a breakup, it is understandable that your self-worth and confidence at an all-time low. You need to work extra hard to change the perception of yourself. This is more important if your ex has moved on and is already in a serious relationship with someone else. Whether it is about your physical attributes or mental makeup or your standing in life, you need to realize that you have nothing to be ashamed about and you deserve the best. Only when you are truly content and at peace with yourself and radiating positivity, you will be able to attract good things into your life.
- There is bound to be resentment and bitterness after a breakup, especially if it is a bad and messy one. It may or may not be your fault. Whatever the case, it is better you adopt the no-contact rule. Trying to reason, apologize, or even beg is not going to see the desired result. Chances are it will worsen the situation. Give each other some space and time for introspection. Allow your ex freedom and not feel stifled by the relationship. As the saying goes, let go to gain more. You may also want to take a look at our guide on how to apologize when you are not wrong.
- You can set a time limit for the no-contact period, say a month or two. Use this time to get a grip on your emotions and try to move on with your life doing things that make you happy and content. When the no-contact period ends, you would be full of energy and confidence and would have started enjoying life. Though you still love your ex and want to get back together, you will find that you are not defined by your relationship and you do not need one to feel happy and fulfilled.
- Stay away from social media as much as possible for a while. Do not block your ex, just unfollow. This will help with your no-contact policy. Do not flood your account with posts and photos to show the world how affected or unaffected you are by the end of the relationship. It is counterproductive. Instead, take a short break from social media.
- Once the no-contact period is over, test waters with simple and to-the-point messages to your ex like “Was thinking about you yesterday. Hope all is well.” Take care not to strike up long conversations.
- Do things that make you feel good. Be it going out with friends, listening to music, binge-watching TV shows, cooking, gardening, volunteering, or reading your favorite author. Being happy changes your perception of the world as well as how the world sees you. When you are happy, content, and at peace with yourself, you exude confidence and positivity that makes you a natural magnet to the people around you.
- Do not worry or waste your time thinking about why the law of attraction is not working for you. Understand and accept that the Universe will bring you the right things at the right time. There is no time limit for the law of attraction to work its magic for you. Trust the Universe without even a speck of doubt and carry on with your life with all the positivity, happiness, and confidence that you can muster. Good things are bound to happen in due course.
- Even after you get back together with your ex, continue your newfound positive way of life. Do not revert to your old behavior, which may have been one of the contributing factors to the breakup.
When you are trying to win your ex back, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. There are no fixed rules for what you can or cannot do. Just be happy, positive, and fearless and go ahead and live your life the way you want to. Rest assured; good things are bound to follow.
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