No doubt it’s challenging to date someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD). The absence of emotional resilience and constant emotional turbulence present in someone with BPD can be hard to handle for a normal person.
However, it would be unfair to stay away from every single person with borderline personality disorder or BPD. To never date someone with BPD seems to be an outlandish suggestion. For the simple reason that the pattern and severity of the affliction vary from person to person.
Unfortunately, the image of a BPD person is not favorable or enticing enough for a relationship. They are often seen as difficult and toxic but this need not be true for everyone.
Now to answer the question – Is it alright to date someone with borderline personality disorder?
There is no easy answer to this tricky question. There is no denying that it will be tough to maintain a stable relationship with someone with BPD. If you’re not up for this challenge, you better stay away from a BPD partner.
On the other hand, if you find yourself in love with a person with BPD, there is no reason why you should walk out of the relationship only on this account. With a little bit of effort on your part, you can make it work as well as any other relationship.
This article tells you why it is preposterous to never date someone with BPD. There is no reason why you shouldn’t hesitate to date someone with BPD. Here you will find some compelling reasons for sticking with your BPD partner.
Is a healthy relationship possible with a BPD partner?
Mood swings are the most difficult aspect of borderline personality disorder. Even though a BPD person experiences violent mood swings, that is not the only thing you can expect from them. A person suffering from borderline personality disorder has so much more to offer than that.
A BPD partner is great to be around during the idealization phase. They are happy, exciting, passionate, and fun to have around. They will put you on a pedestal and romance you like you have never experienced before.
Unfortunately, like all good things, this also doesn’t last long. After idealization comes the devaluation phase when you are brought down to the ground with an earth-shattering thud. This is when you will begin to experience real-life problems of living with a person with BPD.
All relationships come with their own set of joys and struggles. When your partner is diagnosed with BPD, the intensity of both happiness and troubles goes up. A healthy BPD relationship is possible if you are ready to make the extra effort.
With individual and couples therapy, you can manage mood swings and disruptive behavior in a BPD relationship. Setting strong personal boundaries can also help in this regard.
Why shouldn’t you be reluctant to date someone with BPD?
1. They aren’t inherently bad
Though a person with BPD is considered toxic, the truth is that they aren’t bad or evil at heart. They behave this way because they suffer from a mental health condition. While most of us are going through some kind of mental health issue, BPD is more severe and challenging than any of them.
With a good treatment schedule, borderline personality disorder can be brought under control and kept in check. In fact, someone with BPD has a better shot at a normal life with the right kind of partner.
2. BPD is not a permanent disability
BPD is a treatable mental health condition. With the right treatment and therapy, a BPD partner can function normally in a relationship. Something that helps them is a strong support system, which you can provide.
For borderline personality disorder, therapy can work like magic. Together with your unconditional support and help, your BPD partner can function as well as any normal partner.
3. To date someone with BPD is rewarding
Any relationship is challenging in its own way. There will always be ups and downs in the relationship with a lot of give and take. In a relationship with someone with BPD, the challenges are a bit different. That is all there is to it.
There is no need for you to walk away from the relationship if your partner is diagnosed with BPD. Don’t lose heart. Give it a try at least. With a little cooperation from your BPD partner and lots of effort and adjustment from your end, you can have a happy and stable relationship with a person with BPD.
4. You get to grow as a person
One of the main goals of a relationship is to help each other with personal growth. This is one aspect that determines the health of a relationship. While you can help and support your BPD partner to manage their condition, you also will get a chance to widen your horizon and become a better person.
You may not find this opportunity in every relationship. While learning to cope with the symptoms of BPD in your partner, you are also learning to adjust to the challenges and be a better human being.
5. They are kind, loving, and passionate
There is a misconception that a person with BPD is mean, abusive, and toxic. However, this is not true for everyone suffering from BPD. Just like normal people have different personalities, those with BPD are also dissimilar. They vary in the kind of BPD they have and the intensity of the condition.
Most people paint everyone with BPD in the same color. They fail to understand that someone with BPD can be kind and compassionate. Or they can be loving and affectionate. A person with BPD is often the hardest on themselves than they are on others.
Final thoughts on dating someone with BPD
Borderline personality disorder or BPD is a serious mental health condition. So, you should date someone with BPD only if you are ready and prepared to handle the difficulties associated with it. You need to have a thorough understanding of the condition and be willing to offer unconditional help and support to your BPD partner.
Even when you’re ready to do your bit, the relationship may still not work out. The complex nature of this mental disorder may become too much to handle. A person with BPD is extremely sensitive and may experience severe mood swings. The impulsiveness and unpredictability of their behavior may become too much to accommodate. If you aren’t ready to handle all these, you should never date someone with BPD.
For you to date someone with BPD, you should be prepared for an emotional rollercoaster ride. Things may get too overwhelming and exhausting for you without external help. You may also need help to deal with the mental trauma of taking care of your BPD partner.
If your partner is loving, kind, and genuine, you shouldn’t allow their BPD diagnosis to spoil the party. There is no need for you to give up on a rewarding relationship based on mere assumptions.