The sense of loss and pain you feel when a marriage falls apart is indescribable.
As a first step, you agree on a trial period of separation. Even with the dreaded “divorce” looming large on the horizon, you would still have a sense of expectation. Maybe there is still hope for your marriage. Maybe it can be saved.
There are so many positive steps you can follow to make it better for both of you. You can still make it work and avoid the disaster of divorce.
Probably harsh words were said to each other and bitter fights fought. All these must have destroyed the channel of communication. Re-establishing communication should be your top priority if you want to reconcile.
With this done, you will be in touch with your partner and on talking terms. Then, you can look out for positive signs in your partner as well as yourself. If the signs your separated wife is giving are encouraging, you can do more to win back love and respect.
Statistics are in your favor. Most couples who opt to part ways come back after separation. Only a minority head for divorce. So, it makes sense to work on your marriage and save it. There is nothing to prevent you to come back after divorce as well.
This article describes the positive signs that you can look out for in yourself and your partner. These signs can tell you whether your relationship stands a chance of being saved.
11 positive signs to look out for
You begin the journey together with so much hope and dreams and after a few years when it lies in shambles, you will be troubled by so many questions.
The separation period is an excellent opportunity for cooling off and self-reflection. It is time for rectifying your mistakes. However, all your efforts at reconciliation will be useful only if your wife/husband wants you back. This you can find out through these tell-tale signs. These signs are equally applicable to both partners.
1. You continue to communicate with each other.
It has definitely scaled down from the initial days of marriage when both of you cannot stay apart even for a moment. When things go wrong in a marriage, the first casualty is communication. If it is working reasonably well, you still have hope.
2. You can identify the real culprit.
When you are irritated and angry, all you could see was your partner’s fault. With the separation period offering you the opportunity and time to cool down, you begin to see things with clarity. You could see that the problem was with neither of you. Maybe it was work pressure, too much partying, unrealistic expectations, or lack of good communication. Take steps to resolve this and you are home safe and sound.
3. You are ready to forgive and forget.
As long as you can put the past behind you and are ready to think of ways to start afresh, there is still hope for your marriage. You are indeed hurt and offended by what your partner did. But harping on it is not going to help your marriage. If you want to continue being together, you should learn how to forgive and forget. And find ways to move past the painful incident.
4. You are reminiscing about the “good old days”.
After all the anger and outbursts of the days preceding the separation, you have calmed down. You are now able to look back at life together with nostalgia. You can spend hours reminiscing about those happy days with your partner. Reliving those good times is definitely a good sign for rekindling romance and saving the marriage.
5. You can tolerate each other’s presence.
When you parted ways, you had reached a point when the sight of your partner could trigger anger and similar negative emotions. All you wanted was to get as far away from your partner as possible. The cooling-off period has accomplished its objective. You can meet each other without being at each other’s throats. That is a definite improvement.
6. You have managed to bring down stress at work.
This is a major contributing factor for discord in marriages. When your work is taking away a chunk of your time and focus, it is natural that your partner feels neglected. With you deciding to scale down work pressure, your marriage may see a revival on its own.
7. You grow fond of each other when you are apart.
As the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. When you are separated, you start missing each other in daily life. This is the best sign of them all. As long as your heart yearns for each other, there is still hope left for the marriage. The time apart will help you realize the value of each other.
8. You are no longer angry.
The last days together were unbearable with your heart filled with hatred, anger, and annoyance. Shouting, screaming, and accusing each other – you name it, every negative emotion was present. Now, the time apart has made you realize how much you love your partner. All the animosity was just fleeting and temporary. You can now understand how your partner felt and why they insisted on separation. You are not angry anymore.
9. Your partner is still fond of you.
Maybe you have said some harsh words and raised your voice. In the heat of the moment, you decided to part ways. That doesn’t mean that you stop caring for each other. As long as there is still love in the relationship, there is hope for reconciliation.
10. Your partner is requesting your help.
You have been the pillar of strength for your partner for years. Even now, after separating from you, they continue to expect your support in dealing with the pangs of separation. It may sound strange but holds true with many couples. It is hard to get out of the habit of relying on each other. With this still intact, your marriage has a good chance of surviving the current situation.
11. You are free of external influences.
Parents and friends may be bothering you with suggestions when your marriage is showing signs of trouble. Once you make your intentions clear with the separation, they most probably will take a step back and leave you to it. With the pressure gone, you two can work out your differences with ease.
When you choose to part ways and opt for separation, you have a 50-50 chance of saving your marriage. The odds worsen as the period of separation extends longer. Statistics give us 6 months as the tipping point. If your separation extends beyond the 6-month period, your chances of reconciliation are less.
This means you have to act fast to woo your partner and get your marriage back on the rails. The odds for reconciliation are in your favor. All you need to do is introspect, admit your mistakes, take corrective action, and keep in touch with your partner. The rest should fall into place by itself.
You may also want to take a look at our guide on how to make your wife fall in love with you again after separation.