11 Questions to Ask Your Spouse to Improve Your Marriage

Questions to Ask Your Spouse to Improve Your Marriage

11 Questions to Ask Your Spouse to Improve Your Marriage

Remember those early days? You and your partner could never stop talking. You could spend hours together, just the two of you. 

Now, looking back you must be wondering what you used to talk about. How could two people spend so much time just talking to each other?

You know, you were getting to know each other then. To you, your partner was a mystery and you were trying to lift the veil and get a clear view of who they are. 

As your relationship progressed, you got to know each other better and decided to get married. As you “settled down” into domesticity and got saddled with duties and responsibilities, the conversations dried up.

After years of being together, you know each other well enough so that you don’t have to wait for answers to know what your partner is thinking or feeling. Moreover, in the hectic pace of life, there is no time for fun question-answer sessions.

Do you really think that you know your partner inside out? Can anyone know another person completely? 

When people themselves change over the years, their outlook, behavior, reactions, and emotions can also change. This means your effort at “knowing your partner” has to be ongoing. You cannot stop after a few months of “getting to know each other”.

And, this process is so much fun and romantic, if only you care to keep it alive. So why not restart the process and bring back romance and excitement in your marriage.

If you are unsure how or where to start this activity, don’t worry, you have come to the right place. This article lists some fun questions couples like you can ask each other to improve your marriage.

How and when to ask these conversational questions?

These are questions to be reserved for special occasions like date nights. Or at least when both of you are relaxed and have time to spare. You can also plan and make time for such fun conversations. 

You need to give some thought to the questions you are going to ask your husband/wife. As you know your partner pretty well, you know which topics are too sensitive or taboo. This exercise is meant to be fun and a chance to reconnect with each other. Be careful not to spoil the mood.

You can choose the setting and ambiance to make the event more fun and enjoyable for both of you. There is no right or wrong way to do this. Just have some fun.

11 fun interesting questions to ask your partner

You can ask your wife/husband questions like these to get the conversation flowing.

1. Do you like being married?

This is an open-ended question that your partner may think of as a trick question. For the marriage to survive, your partner has to say “yes”. Don’t allow such one-word answers. Ask them to continue to elaborate on the answer. 

You can chip in an extra question like “What do you like the most about being married?”. Don’t let your partner get away with cute answers like “waking up seeing your face” or “your wonderful sense of humor”. Corner your partner to give more personal answers. As mentioned earlier, you can be insistent in a fun way without spoiling the mood.

2. What do you like about our marriage?

Again, another trick question. In case your partner feels so, reassure them that there is no right or wrong answer. All it demands is honesty while answering the question. 

Ask for more detailed answers with explanations. From the answer, you can gauge how much you know about your partner. You may have some idea how your partner perceives your marriage. 

3. What were your thoughts about marriage before you met me?

You may have already asked this question in the early days of the relationship. If you can remember what answer you got then, you can compare it with the present answer to see how much your partner has changed over the years.

You may even confront your partner with this in a fun way just to see the reaction.

4. Did our marriage come anywhere close to this?

From the answer, you will know how much your partner valued your marriage. People may have high expectations before the event and most often the real experience will not come anywhere close to it. 

If your partner is willing to sugarcoat this and bridge the gap, you know that your marriage is for keeps.

5. Did you enjoy our wedding day? Which part did you enjoy the most?

You may have discussed this before. But memories of the event do change over the years. What is considered important may not be important anymore. And you may start giving importance to some inconsequential part of it.

It would be fun to watch the perspectives change over time. You may even challenge your partner with the older memories. You can spend some time reminiscing about that special day in your life.

6. Among all the things I do for you, which one is your favorite?

In a marriage, partners do so many things for each other. Whether the task involved is big or small, it is the thought that counts most of the time. 

Often the answer to this question is revealing. What you consider as important may not coincide with your partner’s view.

7. If we can take off for a week right now, what would you like to do?

These imaginary scenarios add fun to any conversation. You are allowed to be as cheeky and flippant as you want to be in the answer. You are allowed to let your imagination run riot as you are not making any commitments. 

But this will give you an idea about the wishes of your partner. You may borrow ideas from this conversation and plan something together.

8. What do you like the most about me? 

The question may be simple but answering it is definitely not. Reassure your partner that this is not meant as a trick question to trap them. They can be honest in their answers. 

And, insist on specific personal answers and don’t accept standard generalized answers. You may be surprised by the answer. You never realized your partner noticed such details about you.

9. What do you dislike the most about me?

Maybe your partner has always been frank and you know the answer to this question. Still, you can insist on a proper answer.

Though a fun and light atmosphere is maintained during the conversation, the answers are all relevant and can be taken in all seriousness. You may use this input to curtail the habit that is annoying your partner. 

10. Where do you see us after 20 years?

Or 10 or 30 0r 50 years. It would be fun to think about the future together. Growing old together is one of the pleasures of a healthy relationship.

To add to the fun, you can record the answer on your phone. Imagine the fun you can have on seeing this video after 20 years.

11. Are you looking forward to growing old together? 

Some are comfortable with the idea of growing old, some are not. Don’t give too much importance to the answer. Treat this just as a fun question and leave it be.

For more on this topic, see our article 15 Tips for a Successful Marriage.

Concluding thoughts

These are just some sample questions married couples can ask each other. Use your imagination to think up more. You can have some fun time finding out the answers to your questions and answering your partner’s questions. 

You can repeat the same questions after a year to see how much you have changed.

You may also want to download the free couples communication exercises PDF to enhance your relationship.

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