Is an emotionally unavailable man capable of falling in love? When an emotionally unavailable man falls in love, what does he do about it?
Loving an emotionally unavailable man can never be easy. But that is no reason for you to avoid him altogether. If you know how to reach out to him and draw him out, you can have a happy and content relationship with an emotionally unavailable man.
Being emotionally unavailable is an integral part of people with insecure attachment styles, an overwhelming majority belonging to avoidant personality types. When their mindset prevents them from opening up and expressing their love, you may have a tough time handling the situation.
This article details the hard-to-miss signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you. You can use these signs to know what he feels about you and reciprocate those feelings.
How do you tell if an emotionally unavailable man loves you?
An emotionally unavailable man comes saddled with an insecure attachment style that makes him bottle up his feelings for you and prevents him from expressing them. The best way to learn about how he feels for you is by trying to spot signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you.
Even if you enter into a relationship with an emotionally unavailable man, you may find the going tough if you’re unable to read the signs. His reaction may remain the same whether he is happy, sad, or hurt.
His refusal to feel his own emotions may be due to his painful past experiences. He shuts off his ability to feel emotions as a coping mechanism to prevent further pain. However, this can create trouble for his future relationships.
Despite his denial of emotions, an emotionally unavailable man falls in love. Typically, it takes more time for him as he refuses to accept it or reach out to his love interest. He holds back his love trying to ensure that you are the right person for him.
If you detect the signs of love in him, it’s your turn to reassure him of your love and commitment and help him to open up.
1. He tries to convey his feelings to you
An emotionally unavailable man is used to keeping his emotions close to his chest and not letting them out in the open. If you observe him closely, you will notice the struggle he is fighting within himself. He wants to tell you that he loves you but something is preventing him from going forward with it.
He may try to be near you and talk to you as often as possible without drawing undue attention. However, even when he gets the opportunity for a heart-to-heart talk, he shies away from it. It is as if he is torn between two opposing views – he loves you but he isn’t sure you’re the one.
When an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you, he may not get to reveal his love for you, but he may open up to you about other aspects of his life. As this is something he never does with anyone, you should treat this as an encouraging sign.
2. He introduces you to his family and friends circle
He may not have openly declared his love for you but he is keen to get you acquainted with his family and friends. If you want to, you can treat this as a declaration of love from him. Because these are the people who matter the most to him. Just the fact that he wants you to know them and them to know you is an encouraging sign.
An emotionally unavailable man may not know how to express his feelings in the usual way. But he finds a way to let you know that he is interested in you and would like to know you better.
3. He includes you in his future plans
He may still be processing his feelings for you but he has no hesitation in making plans with you. This can be about the movie you are planning to watch on the weekend or going on holiday next month. He may not even hesitate to make plans for the distant future with you.
When you are made part of his future plans, it is a clear indication of his feelings for you, even if he hasn’t yet breathed a word of it to you. His handicap is preventing him from saying it out aloud, but he has made up his mind about you for sure.
4. He values your opinion
Before he does anything, both personal and professional, he reaches out to you for your take on it. In fact, asking for help and opinions is not what an emotionally unavailable man usually does. But he makes an exception for you as he has given you special status in his life.
An emotionally unavailable man is not comfortable sharing his troubles with others and asking them to help him resolve them. He feels that others may take advantage of him. But clearly, he is not clubbing you together in the “others” category, though he hasn’t yet made it official.
5. He tries hard to reach out to you
He may be finding it difficult to reveal his love for you like a normal person. He is intensely aware of the need for the same. He knows that if he keeps his feelings to himself, you may not stay with him. Obviously, he doesn’t want that either. All these are putting him in a difficult situation.
Ultimately, he decides to make compromises in his behavior to keep you with him. Though he is afraid of the intimacy and commitment of a relationship, he agrees to this for you nevertheless. He tries his best to meet you halfway. He considers various tactics to improve himself for your sake.
6. He tries to be more consistent
It’s hard to predict what an emotionally unavailable man may do next or how he may react. They are notorious for being fickle-minded and inconsistent. This is an integral part of his personality.
One moment he is happy and caring, the next moment he may flip altogether and may be angry or grouchy. Today he can’t have enough of you, tomorrow he may not want to have anything to do with you. Even if they want to be consistent, most often they can’t because their personality traits compel them to act in certain ways.
However, with you, it is different. Maybe it is love for you that has made the impossible possible. You find him more consistent than ever before. He may struggle with it, but he tries his best.
7. He has started thinking of you as a couple
Recently, you notice him using the words “we” and “us” more in conversations. That is his way of declaring his love for you and openly saying that you’re now a couple. In his deepest mind, he has accepted you as his partner, though he is still having trouble saying the same to you.
Do not feel offended by this as he is incapable of expressing his feelings to you. He will use roundabout ways to let you know how much he loves you and cares for you. If you are keen on continuing this relationship, you should be ready to accept this situation, instead of fighting it.
Even as he tries hard to overcome his handicap, he might pull away from you out of the blue. Maybe he is freaking out and needs time and space to sort out his feelings for you. Just be patient and give him the time and space he is seeking. If he is in love with you, he will come back to you.
On your part, when you become aware that an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you, you can take the initial step of reaching out to him. You can make things easier for him by creating a safe space and reassuring environment. Take the pressure out of the relationship and allow him space to make mistakes. Finally, the choice to leave also lies with you when you realize that he doesn’t love you anymore.