Do you have reasons to believe that you have a cheating husband? If you’re suspicious that your husband may be cheating, you’re probably wondering how to tell for sure. While there’s no surefire way to know if he’s cheating, some signs may indicate he’s feeling guilty about something.
If this is a first-time experience for you, you must be feeling confused and dazed. What should you do? Before anything, you should look for any sign of cheating. Then, it is time to figure out if there are signs of guilt from your cheating husband.
This article deals with the delicate topic of husband cheating and guilt signs. Here you will find common signs he cheated and feels guilty.
10 Signs indicating husband cheating and guilt
1. He’s miserable and filled with self-hate.
If your husband has a cheerful personality and is always up for a bit of fun, this change is easy to spot.
Nowadays, he is always downcast. He rarely smiles or looks you in the eye.
When a person is feeling guilty, they find it difficult to enjoy themselves. They have the urge to punish themselves for their own wrongdoing. It is probably a guilt sign if you cannot find any other reason for this strange behavior.
The best approach for you is to ask him to explain his behavior. You can say that you know that something is up, and it’s better to come out clean. Don’t accuse him of anything without solid proof. If your cheating husband shows signs of guilt, he may spill it himself. Let it come from him.
2. He acts distant.
One of the signs he cheated and feels guilty is that he starts to act distant. You feel as if he is pulling away from the relationship. If you know of no valid reason for this behavior, it will naturally make you wonder why?
He is ignoring you. He is not present when you are together. He tries to keep his distance from you. He hasn’t kissed or touched you for days now. What’s up?
If you cannot figure out the reason for this behavior on your own, you better ask him straight out. He may or may not spill it out. The fact that he avoids you indicates that he doesn’t want you to know about it.
3. He is smothering you with attention and affection.
This is the other extreme of feeling guilty. He is giving you extra attention to hide the fact that he is cheating and he feels guilty about it. This behavior is typical when he develops a guilty conscience.
You may find your cheating husband doing chores or other activities that he usually runs away from. That too without much prompting or cajoling. This is sure to raise a red flag in your mind. What’s up?
You might welcome the sudden transformation in your husband’s behavior, as this is something you have always wanted from him. But if it is a fallout of cheating and consequent guilt, this will be short-lived. Your cheating husband will go back to his old ways when the feeling abates.
4. He gaslights you.
Whenever you ask him something, do you feel that he is giving you a runaround and trying to confuse the matter? Gaslighting is a common tactic used to hoodwink partners.
When your husband is home later than usual, and you confront him, he gives you a vague answer or deflects the question with another one. Maybe he was cheating on you or out with his friends.
As he isn’t comfortable answering this question, he will counterattack and accuse you.
“Am I a child? Why are you treating me like one?”
“Don’t you trust me?”
“Do I have to sign in at home too?”
You will find the position reversed all of a sudden. You, the victim, become the abuser and your cheating husband dons the role of the victim.
You will be naturally confused as to what is going on. You find yourself accused of bullying, lack of trust, paranoia, and uptight behavior. In the melee, your original question gets lost and remains unanswered.
He is gaslighting you.
5. He vanishes without a word or an explanation.
Initially, he was coming home late, and when you started asking questions, he stopped coming home. He may even invent a business trip out of nowhere even though he has never traveled for work before. This is a sign of cheating.
When your husband goes into the trouble of creating stories to continue cheating, then the relationship has reached a point of no return. It’s beyond repair.
As your husband is weaving an elaborate web of lies to satisfy your curiosity and keep you off his back, he is getting himself into a bigger mess than he originally intended. He may find it impossible to climb out of this, as you will find it hard to forgive him.
6. He turns the tables on you.
This is similar to gaslighting in many ways. When you confront him for his wrongdoings, he will reverse the situation and accuse you of victimizing him. He will manipulate situations to portray you as the villain of the story.
He will accuse you of targeting him or not being supportive. He might even pick up fights with you to create a smokescreen to divert your attention from the real issue of your husband cheating.
If he succeeds in making you feel guilty of the trumped-up crimes he accused you of committing, you are left with no choice but to leave him alone. This way, he thinks, he can continue his cheating.
7. He is suddenly concerned about his appearance.
He has never bothered to dress up, even in the early days of your relationship. But recently, you find him paying attention to his looks and clothes when he goes out in the evenings to meet “his friends.” Something’s up for sure.
He is trying out new haircuts when he has had the same haircut for as long as you have known him. He has always been a sloppy dresser, but it has changed. When a guy has found new love, he will want to look his best.
If your cheating husband feels guilty, he might even suggest that you do the same. He might lecture you on the importance of appearance and urge you to try a new hairstyle.
So, if your husband who never cared about his looks has suddenly started taking an interest in them, it may be a sign he cheated and feels guilty about it.
8. He accuses you of cheating.
This shows to what levels he is willing to stoop to keep his extra-marital affair going. Instead of being defensive, he turns offensive and accuses you of the very same thing he is guilty of. He‘s projecting his guilt onto you.
You might find this hard to digest if you aren’t aware of what is going on. He will accuse you of cheating without producing any proof of it. This is bound to stump you, and you will be too flustered to respond.
This is a common tactic among guilty people but is usually done on a smaller scale in trivial situations you may easily overlook and let go of. Unless you are aware of his manipulations and are ready to counter them, he might even get away with this.
9. He is paranoid and over-protective of his phone.
When you ask him a simple question like, “Who were you talking to on the phone?” he gets defensive and doesn’t answer you directly. Instead, he turns the tables on you and asks, “Why do you want to know?”
He has become paranoid and over-protective of his phone and is always keeping it close to him. He has even started taking it to the bathroom with him.
He is worried that you might find out about his infidelity if you get your hands on his phone. This behavior is a sign that he is cheating and feels guilty about it.
10. He withdraws from you emotionally.
When a man cheats, he withdraws himself emotionally from his partner. He doesn’t want to get too attached to her as he is already in a relationship with someone else.
You might have noticed that he doesn’t share his feelings with you like he used to. He has become more distant and secretive.
He doesn’t want to get too close to you as he is afraid you will find out about his affair. So, he would rather keep his distance and remain aloof.
If your husband has suddenly started withdrawing from you emotionally, it may be a sign that he has cheated and feels guilty about it.
Conclusion
These are some of the signs that your husband has cheated and feels guilty about it. If you notice any of these signs, it’s time to confront him and get some answers.
A cheating husband will try his best to cover up his tracks and keep you in the dark. But if you are observant enough, you will find signs that he is cheating on you. These signs might not be conclusive proof, but they should give you an idea of what is going on.
There is a world of difference between a one-time indiscretion and a long-term affair. If he genuinely regrets his transgression and promises to stay faithful, it’s up to you to accept the apology.
Recommended Reading:
- Signs He Is No Longer Interested In You
- Why Do Guys Distance Themselves After Intimacy
- My Boyfriend is Too Clingy and Touchy: What to Do About It?
- Signs She Wants to be More Than Friends
- Signs He Feels Guilty For Hurting You
- What to Do When You Mess Up in a Relationship
- The Psychology Behind Cheating And Lying
- Can a Cheating Woman Change and be Faithful?
- 10 Questions To Ask Your Unfaithful Spouse