Have you suffered hurtful behavior from a man? Ever wondered whether they feel guilty and regret their actions?
Even if he says he feels guilty and apologizes, do you think he means it? Is there a way to confirm that the man actually feels remorse?
As you aren’t so sure that his words are heartfelt, the only way to find this out is by looking for signs he gives off and his body language. If you are a good observer of people and their behavior, these are easy to spot.
When a guy knows he hurt you and is feeling guilty, his guilty conscience will influence his words and actions.
This article lists signs he feels guilty for hurting you. Once you know that he is remorseful, maybe you can accept his apology, put the hurtful things of the past behind you, and move on.
7 unmistakable signs he feels guilty for hurting you
1. He is concerned about your well-being.
He will ask you repeatedly how you’re feeling. This is a clear sign of having a guilty conscience. When a guy feels guilty for hurting you, he can’t help feeling concerned about how you’re doing.
Looking at this from another angle, why would he care if he isn’t feeling guilty?
If he did something to hurt you, he will try to move past the unpleasantness. He will try his best not to harp on the topic. But when he knows he hurt you and is feeling guilty about it, he may want to ensure that you are okay.
If he has already apologized, he may want to know whether you have accepted his apology and forgiven him. Are you hurting? Are you mad at him?
He wants to know whether he can do anything to make it better for you.
2. He makes promises to change.
When a man feels guilty for hurting you, it is natural for him to make promises – promises to not repeat the mistakes and to change. A guilty conscience can make even tough guys soft like butter.
No matter how he has hurt you or how severely it affected you when you see him making promises to reform his behavior, it is definitely a promising sign. He must be genuinely feeling bad about hurting you and wants to set things right in the relationship.
Most probably all he needs is encouragement from you to make the change and become a better human being.
3. He withdraws into a shell.
You may be able to understand him apologizing and trying to convince you to forgive him when he feels guilty for hurting you. It may sound strange if he clams up and stops talking to you. Sometimes, he may withdraw from everyone and not just you.
When he realizes that he has hurt you badly, he may have tried to make things right with apologies and promises. When he sees that you are not relenting, he may find himself at a dead end, not knowing what to do or which way to turn.
When he goes silent, he may have slipped into depression for having hurt you and damaging your relationship or he may be contemplating his next move. His silence is typically a sign of an active guilty conscience.
4. He tries hard to be funny and make you laugh.
When he feels guilty for hurting you, his guilty conscience will kick in and he will feel guilty for upsetting you and making you sad. When you don’t respond to his initial attempts at making up, he will try extra hard to make you feel better. He feels that if he can manage to make you laugh, everything will be fine between the two of you.
He will try anything from silly jokes to buffoonery to get your attention and lighten up the situation. He may often use self-mockery as a tool to even the score.
5. He gets defensive.
While some men try to ask for forgiveness and make you happy when they feel guilty for hurting you, others defend their behavior and try to deflect the fault from themselves. In their attempt to deflect the blame, they may end up blaming others for the hurt you had to endure or even to yourself. He may even accuse you of misconstruing his behavior.
When it reaches this level of nastiness, you can be sure that your response has touched a raw nerve in him. He feels guilty for hurting you and that is why he is feeling aggrieved and retaliating. By channeling his emotions in the right direction, you may be able to use this episode to bring you closer to him.
6. He lets you get closer to him.
It’s still the early stages of the relationship and there are boundaries you dare not violate with him. Such as asking him questions about his past relationships or the reason for his strained relationship with his family. But this episode has made him feel so guilty that he will let his guard down and relax his personal boundaries.
As his guilty conscience takes over his decision-making, you can get him to agree to almost anything now. If you want to, you can make the most of this opportunity.
7. He comes up with excuses to avoid you or chat with you.
These are two extreme reactions to having a guilty conscience. Either he’s feeling so guilty that he feels embarrassed to show his face to you. He has no clue how to apologize or even make casual conversations with you when such a dark cloud is hanging over your relationship. All he wants is to escape from your eyesight.
At the other end of the spectrum is this mindset to get closer to you to convince you to forgive him. He will create opportunities to speak to you about the episode. He may have rehearsed what he wants to tell you beforehand. His entire focus is on making you believe that his behavior was a mistake and he is ready to make amends.
Or he may want to act normal as if nothing untoward happened between the two of you. He may ask questions like “How was your day?” or “Did you meet your friend as planned?”. He will talk about anything but the hurtful episode. He is feeling guilty and desperately trying to cover up the damage.
Final thoughts on a man feeling guilty for hurting you
In his attempt to get back on your good books and normalize your relationship, he may speak highly of you to others., both in your presence and out of earshot. He knows that news travels fast and will reach you. He may do things without being asked – things that he usually won’t do even after repeated reminders. Such as doing household chores.
As a last-ditch attempt, he may come up with statements to pull your heartstrings. Such as “You deserve someone better than me” or “You are way too good for this stupid me”.
A guy will display signs he knows he hurt you in many ways. He’ll make sure that you understand what he wants to convey. Then, it’s up to you to decide whether to forgive him or not.