It can be really tough when a guy you’re interested in suddenly pulls away. You might start to worry that he’s lost interest in you, or that you did something wrong. But don’t worry – there are usually signs that he will come back after pulling away.
In this blog post, we’ll talk about the 11 most common signs that a guy is going to come back after being distant. So read on to learn more!
Why do guys pull away and then come back?
At times men pull away without any visible signs when it looks like your relationship is about to take off. No prior warning, no reasons, no explanations. One day they just up and leave. Vanish into thin air, so to speak.
The question “Why?” will haunt you for a long time. You will find it difficult to come to terms with this sudden departure. If you can find the answer to the question “Why?”, it will help.
Before you go on a trip of shame, guilt, and self-blame, pause a moment to check the facts.
If you want to examine the reasons in great detail, each man will have a unique reason to leave the relationship. However, if you search for patterns, you will find them.
Here are some common reasons for men to pull away unannounced.
1. Unable to manage their emotions
They find the emotional aspect of the relationship overwhelming. It is an established fact that a majority of men aren’t good at handling their emotions. Being in a relationship will make their emotions run wild.
When men can’t understand their own emotions, they naturally feel confused and lost. They deal with this by removing themselves from the situation. That is what they are trying to do by pulling away.
2. Feel unwanted or neglected
This may or may not be the truth. But as long as they feel this way, nothing much can be done about it. An unreasonable level of expectation is usually the culprit. People, especially men, want to feel needed in a relationship. If this is not met, they leave.
3. Lack of personal space
When you enter into a relationship, you are surrendering your personal space. It shrinks drastically. Some men find it difficult to digest this. Add to this the stress and anxiety of daily life, and no wonder, he reaches a breaking point soon.
4. Clueless about his wants
At times circumstances bring people into relationships. Men, especially the ones with maturity issues, will panic when they find themselves in a relationship. He isn’t aware of his wants and he has not set any goals for himself. Their plans keep changing and one day they decide that they don’t want to be in a relationship.
5. Found someone else
People fall in love with others all the time. Whether he fell in love with another person because he lost interest in you or the other way around is debatable. However, the facts are undeniable. And, he took a decision he considered right in the circumstances.
Why do men pull away even when they are in love with you?
That may sound strange but true. Your partner loves you dearly but he is scared of getting hurt in the relationship. He may be afraid that if he gets too deep into the relationship, he may have to face rejection and his heart may get broken.
Maybe it is his past experiences or what he believes to be true. To keep himself safe, he pulls away from you as a part of his defense mechanism.
Men may also pull away when they feel they are being too forceful and coming on too strong. They are scared of frightening you away with their stifling nature.
11 signs he will come back after pulling away
So, he went his way and you haven’t heard from him for some time. Does this mean that you have seen the last of him?
Not exactly. Oftentimes, men who disappear from your life without even a “by your leave” tend to come back. How do you know the guy who left you high and dry will come back to you?
Here are some signs that will give you a heads-up on this.
1. He is still in touch with you.
Even though he walked out of your life, he never cut off the ties with you. This is a clear sign of his coming back later on.
People generally cut off ties with their exes after breaking up because they find interactions too painful due to their troublesome past. Just the fact that your partner wants to maintain contact with you means he enjoys the interactions.
This situation can help you shake off the guilt feeling. Maybe he pulled away because wanted to sort things out in his life.
2. His inner hero is not yet awakened.
The concept of the inner hero plays a huge role in the success of a relationship. It involves the man’s need to protect the people he loves and feel appreciated for his efforts.
Triggering the man’s inner hero is highly recommended for a stronger relationship. If the hero instinct is not yet active, he may feel unwanted and unappreciated in the relationship, making him walk away from it.
If his hero instinct comes alive at a later date, he may want to revive your relationship.
Do you want to learn how to trigger a man’s hero instinct? Check His Secret Obsession Review to know more.
3. He announces his accomplishments through social media.
No matter whose fault it is or what the reasons were, you parted ways. But your man may be regretting the step. He may feel that for him to come back, he has to be better than how he was earlier.
He may have left you physically but he can still reach you through social media. He makes sure that you get to know about all his achievements through social media posts. He thinks of himself as a success and an improved man. There is a good chance that he is getting ready for a reconciliation.
4. He pumps others for news about you.
Maybe he is not comfortable approaching you directly. But he wants to know what is happening in your life. He takes the roundabout approach by asking your common friends.
It is evident that he is interested in you. He may want to know if you have moved on and whether you are in a relationship. He may be toying with the idea of coming back to you.
5. He has done the same in the past.
Has he left you before only to come back later on? If playing hot and cold is habitual for him, he is bound to come back this time as well.
Maybe he thinks this on-off game will add spice to the relationship. Or, he is undecided about what he wants. Whatever his reasons are, if he has done this once, he will do it again.
6. He wants to see you more often.
After blowing cold for a while, he ups his ante and wants to get closer to you. He wants to talk to you more often and spend more time with you. It is clear that he wants to know you better. If he is no longer interested in you, he won’t take this much effort. It is pure logic that he wants to come back.
He will call or text multiple times a day just to ask how you are doing or how your day is going. It is as if he realized your value after he started pulling away. He is trying his best to make amends and mend fences.
7. He is single.
After moving away from you, he hasn’t had a relationship. His social media accounts give his status as single. There are no pictures of him with any other woman. It is as if he is keeping the options open for a reconciliation.
This is also proof that he didn’t pull away because of another woman. If you notice this, it will leave you wondering why. Maybe he is just taking a break from the relationship for other reasons and wants to get back together with you.
8. He rekindles the relationship at a slower pace.
Maybe the first time around, the relationship was too intense for him. He didn’t know how to handle it or how to slow it down. He is just taking a breather away from it all with all the intention of coming back.
If you understand the character of your partner, you find it easier to accept this. He may have been feeling overwhelmed and suffocated by too much love. He may have tried to tell you this but you couldn’t understand it. He took the only option available to him.
9. He doesn’t view the relationship as on/off.
This may be harder for you to understand. He is not a black-or-white kind of guy. He doesn’t believe in the typical setup of a relationship. He doesn’t want to be in a regular relationship but he doesn’t want to lose you either.
Maybe he is unable to make up his mind. Maybe he thinks he can take a break and come back later. Now it is up to you to decide whether you want him in your life. If you feel you cannot handle his on-again-off-again attitude, it’s time to clear the air.
10. He needed space earlier.
When you were together, he was keen on protecting his space and having me-time. He pulled away because he was unable to manage this while in a relationship.
Now, things have changed for him. He has matured and wants less me-time. He doesn’t want to be alone anymore. He wants to spend more time with you. He is comfortable with this now.
11. He includes you in his plans.
It cannot get clearer than this. When he pulled away, you thought the relationship was over. Then, you find him cozying up to you and even making future plans with you. He may be doing this in a subtle way but this is what it is.
He is clearly showing his interest in you and wants to get back to you. He may be embarrassed about pulling away earlier and is unsure of your reaction.
But you need to remember that when he shows his eagerness for your company, there is always a possibility that he wants to be friends with you and nothing more.
What to do when he comes back after pulling away?
When you notice your partner pulling back from the relationship, you should desist from slipping into self-blame and depression. Neither should you wait for him to come back. Learn to move on in life. Find love again and be happy.
However, if by chance, you are single, and you find your ex showing interest in you again, it is entirely up to you to decide whether you want him back in your life. With his track record, nobody is going to blame you if you said “no” to him.
Again, the time he took to come back also counts. Most surveys put this period between a few days and a couple of weeks. This is the time he needs to figure out your place and importance in his life and pluck up the courage to make the move. Again, this depends a lot on his character, goals, and interests. Some take longer, some less.
Then, there is also the possibility of him dating someone else after he pulls away from you. If this is the case, it may take longer or even at times forever. At some point, he may want to come back to you, but he will be in no position to carry out his wishes.
After reading this article, I hope you get the answer you are seeking. Will he, won’t he?
If you want him to come back, you can do certain things such as triggering his hero instinct. By appealing to his natural instinct to come to your rescue, you can save the situation as well as the relationship.
Here you will find more about hero instinct and how to trigger it in your man.
Related: 10 Signs He Will Never Leave You