So, you met this girl and found her attractive. You asked her out on a date and felt you had something great going on with her.
You are connecting well with her and want to take this forward. You know that sexual intimacy can do wonders for your emotional connection at this stage. This can help you know each other better and strengthen the bond.
She seems to like you well and there is clearly an emotional attraction. She always seems to be interested in spending time with you.
However, every time you try to be intimate with her, she seems to withdraw from you. She seems to lack passion and sexual desire. This may be one of the signs she is not sexually attracted to you.
Though you meet her regularly on dates and spend time with her, no intimate bonding or emotional attraction has happened. She shies away from kisses, hugs, and even touches. And, she doesn’t initiate any on her own. Her body language is all wrong. This may prompt you to ask, “What’s the deal?”
Intimacy can turn out to be challenging even in long-standing relationships. But if you have been with her long enough, you should be able to spot the reason for her behavior. In case you are feeling confused about the lack of emotional attraction, these signs may help.
This article lists hard-to-miss signs that your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you. Once you know this fact, you can take appropriate steps to get your emotional connection back on track.
Signs she is not sexually attracted to you
You may suspect that your girlfriend loves you but is not sexually attracted to you. Before you go ahead and take action on this assumption, you need to be sure. Or else, it can backfire.
Here are a few telltale signs a woman is not attracted to you.
1. She doesn’t respond to your flirting
Girls like attention. When you flirt with her, she will flirt back with you. Typical signs of a girl flirting are:
- Genuine smile on her lips
- Excitement when interacting with you
- Investing time to look good
- Seductive body language
- Casual touches
- Overly talkative
- Mirrors your gestures
- Welcomes your flirting behavior
If she’s not giving any of these signs of emotional attraction, it is a matter of concern.
2. She avoids being alone with you
She likes your company for sure. She is also good at getting what she wants, especially with you. But she invents reasons for not to be left alone with you. That doesn’t seem to be right. Maybe she is not interested in getting intimate with you. She doesn’t find you sexually attractive.
She may:
- Show disinterest in your invitation to your place
- Come over only if others are present
- Leave when others leave
When she shows her reluctance for intimacy, it would be unfair to conclude that she is not sexually attracted to you. She may not be ready for an emotional attraction and intimate relationship. If this is the case, you can show some patience and offer support to make her feel better.
However, if this goes on for long, it can be a sign of her disinterest in a sexual relationship with you.
3. She loves the excitement but doesn’t want “fun”
She loves planning exciting dates. And, seem to make the most of the time you spend together. Quiet walks, picnics at the park, bar hopping, and lengthy discussions about movies and TV shows – she actively participates and enjoys them all. But your interaction with her ends right there. She parts ways when it is over. There is no sign of emotional attraction.
You have tried hinting at it at first. When she refused to take the hint, you openly invited her over to your place. However, she always comes up with genuine-sounding excuses to say “no” to you. It’s clear that she is not sexually attracted to you and doesn’t want to get intimate.
4. She’s disinterested in bed
It’s hard to fake your interest in bed. She used to be so enthusiastic and intimate earlier but seems to have cooled down of late. She makes excuses and tells lies to justify her below-par performance. Surely, something is not right. Clearly, she doesn’t feel emotional attraction towards you.
Before she declares her lack of passion openly, she may have given signs of disinterest.
- She doesn’t care anymore.
- She doesn’t want to be with you.
- She stops appreciating you.
- Her smile is forced.
Maybe she already tried to tell you that she has had a change of mind about you but you ignored her hints. Maybe she realized that you’re not the person she wants in her life. She is well within her rights to have a change of mind. You cannot fault her for the absence of emotional attraction.
All you can do is have an open conversation to discuss what is troubling her.
5. You always seem to be the one to initiate sex
You never thought much about this until it became too obvious that she isn’t interested in being with you. You never kept tabs on who initiated what and when. But the recent goings on suggest you should.
Once you started noticing it, it is clear that she has stopped initiating sexual activity with you. Even when you do, she makes her disinterest clear in so many ways. It’s just that you have missed reading all her signals all these days. She does her best to avoid it.
Other than spelling it out in exact words, she cannot be clearer about her preferences.
6. She goes to sleep early
Initially, you thought that she did this because she was tired. Maybe she was. But when this is the case every single day, you cannot help noticing. She calls it a night early and by the time you go to bed, she’s asleep. Or, maybe even pretends to be asleep.
After a jam-packed day, most of us are left with only bedtime for intimacy. By going to bed early, she seems to be avoiding having sex with you. She may be sexually disinterested in you. You can find out for sure only by having an open conversation with her.
7. She behaves more like a friend
You get along well with her like old-time buddies. In fact, sometimes the way she behaves makes you think that you are just friends. Maybe good ones at that but still friends. Somehow, your relationship doesn’t seem like a romantic one. There is no emotional attraction. She doesn’t behave like your partner.
Your emotional connection doesn’t go any deeper than a close friendship. No candid talks or sharing of personal stuff. She talks a lot but it is mostly about what happened at the office or with her friends. She may even discuss world events, sports, and weather. However, she clams up when you raise the topic of your relationship, emotional connection, and the future together.
Bottom line
The moment you try to get physical with her, she pulls away. She prefers masturbation and even on occasions when you have sex together, she doesn’t come or fake it. She may have told you that she isn’t into you anymore and she feels no emotional attraction for you. She cannot be clearer than this.
When she is giving you clear signs she is not sexually attracted to you, it is time you discuss this with her even though it is not a pleasant topic for discussion. Postponing this discussion fearing the outcome is not desirable either. You need to realize that there is no point in continuing in the relationship under false assumptions and fake gestures.
Ups and downs are part of all relationships. Make an extra effort to reinvent the bond you have with her. You may manage to salvage the relationship or sometimes make the emotional connection even better.