No one is perfect, including you. But some people are plain harmful to others – disappointing and hurting you, at times without even you being aware of it.
Your relationship may look perfect in every way to you as well as to others. If it looks too good to be true, it probably is. All relationships have ups and downs. If yours has only positives, there is something fishy going on. Probably your partner is just putting on a show.
Meeting someone new and deciding whether they are worth pursuing is a rather difficult choice to make. You may take it forward even when you have some reservations about it. In the process, you may have ignored some vital signs and placed yourself in a vulnerable position.
Relationships are never easy. You never know which signs are worth considering and which ones to ignore. It’s important to be aware of the signs that warn you to stay away from someone so you can protect your well-being.
These signs can tell you whether your partner is hurting you emotionally, verbally, or even physically. Here is a list of signs that are not associated with someone who treats you with respect.
Stay away signs in a relationship
You come across many people in your life. You feel some level of connection with some of them and try to build healthy relationships with them. However, it is difficult to understand the different facets of a person at the beginning. This may be revealed to you in later interactions.
However, you tend to ignore these signs of discord and try your best to maintain the relationship. Sometimes, this works well as ignoring inconsequential or one-off behavior is necessary for the survival of the relationship. But the problem crops up when this kind of negative behavior becomes too repetitive.
Again, some warning signs are not to be ignored. It takes experience to distinguish between these signs. Some signs let you know from the outset that you are dealing with a toxic person. This person can add stress and anxiety to your life, change you drastically, create chaos, and make your life miserable. It is better to stay away from such negative people.
If you are facing trouble in identifying toxic people, the best course of action would be to notice how they make you feel. Here are some telltale signs you should stay away from someone.
1. You are constantly complaining about them.
You may not be realizing it but you are annoyed and angry about the way they treat you. You carry on with them, thinking you have no choice. Without much thought, you find yourself grumbling about this person to your family and friends.
Instead of confronting the person face to face, talking about them when they are not present is a clear sign that you are not in a healthy relationship. You tend to talk behind their back as it gives you more control over your relationship and life.
2. You suffer from low self-esteem.
People with negative traits can be downright rude and insulting. This can make a huge dent in your mindset and behavior. If you allow this to fester, soon you would be thinking about revenge and retaliation. Such a relationship is definitely not worth pursuing. If the person in your life is taking away your self-worth, it is time you move away from them.
3. Your emotions are out of control.
The negative behavior you are forced to deal with every day from this person is bound to throw your emotions off the track eventually. You will be a ball of nerves, ready to burst out into crying or extreme rage at the slightest trigger. You ponder over the day’s event and have trouble falling asleep.
4. You feel angry all the time.
You lose your temper at home, at the office, and even with strangers. You feel helpless to defend yourself against this evil manipulator. Your frustration will quickly turn into a rage if you do nothing about it.
When you are dealing with a manipulative person and they are always a step ahead of you, naturally you feel that your life is no longer in your control. It is best to get as far away as possible from such evil people.
5. You tend to blame them.
You feel that this person is a bad influence on you but you do nothing about it. However, you find yourself constantly blaming the person for the way you feel and behave. You feel they are responsible for your bad choices and the events happening in your life.
Whether this person is, in reality, the reason for the chaos in your life or not, it is best to stay away from them as the relationship has no future. It is high time you take back control of your life.
6. You don’t enjoy the time spent with them.
You always feel on the edge and don’t think you can trust this person anymore. However, you can’t muster up the courage to tell them how you feel. So, you carry on as if nothing is wrong.
You are doing yourself a disservice by continuing in the relationship. If the person makes you feel uncomfortable or if you dread spending time with the person, it is time you tell them so and go separate ways.
7. You begin to mirror their negative behavior.
This is a sad state of affairs. You allowed the toxic person to continue to mistreat you for so long that your anger and frustration turned into resentment and bitterness. Soon enough you will try to hit back at the person with as much venom as you can muster up.
Ideally, you should not have allowed the relationship to reach this stage. You should take action at least now and walk away.
8. You no longer bother about setting boundaries.
Maybe you tried in the beginning and it was totally ignored by this person. Now, the aggression and manipulation have reached such levels that you feel helpless about enforcing your boundaries.
When a person ignores the boundaries you have set, it is a clear indication of their motives. Such toxic people are better out of your lives.
9. You adopt dangerous coping strategies.
You feel helpless to prevent the mental assault by this person or to get away from them. The only thing you feel you can do is to take steps to dull the emotional pain and forget about the situation at least for short intervals.
Taking refuge in alcohol, drugs, comfort foods, and suchlike can make you feel better and help you deal with the issue for a short timespan. However, you need to realize that these are short-lived solutions and unhealthy in the long run. Such quick fixes are better avoided.
10. Your other relationships are suffering.
When you are stressed and unhappy in your relationship, your behavior towards other people in your life takes a hit. Often, your kids or parents are forced to bear the brunt of your tumultuous relationship.
If you are not taking action to stem the rot, this negativity will soon spread to your behavior and consequently to your other relationships. Before this happens, you have to walk away.
Signs of a toxic person
If you are still confused about the intentions of the person in your life, you can use this checklist to identify whether the person you are dealing with is evil.
- They are delighted when things go downhill for you.
- They are out of sorts when they cannot control every aspect of your life.
- They are pathological liars.
- They blame you when things go wrong.
- They are proverbial sponges, taking everything you have to offer and giving nothing in return.
- They are inherently devious and manipulative.
- They give you a creepy feeling.
- They use dishonest and subversive tactics to get what they want.
- They don’t regret any of their actions.
- They relish making you feel bad.
- They enjoy criticizing and belittling you.
- They never shy away from hurting others.
- They lack a moral compass.
- They refuse to take responsibility for their actions.
- The people close to them warn you about them.
- They form friendships for ulterior gains.
- They use “divide and rule” tactics to destroy your support system.
- They play Jekyll and Hyde in real life.
- They neither set boundaries nor respect yours.
- They hold extreme and controversial views about issues, including racism, sexism, and homophobia.
You most probably won’t find all these signs in the same person. If you can identify at least some of these, it is time for you to walk away.
Even after you conclude that your partner is an evil person, you may not find it easy to get them out of your life. You would continue to make excuses for their behavior and cling to the relationship, most probably because you are afraid to change the status quo.
It is indeed a hard decision to walk out of a relationship. It is easier said than done. Ultimately, you need to decide whether you want to choose your mental health and well-being over the presumed security net that the relationship is giving you.