You have been trapped in this toxic relationship for some time now and finally, you manage to break free. But your ex-partner is not in the mood to accept your decision. Your ex keeps hounding you.
You may face this situation even when your ex dumped you and now regrets their decision. No matter how much you try to stay out of their path, they keep coming back into your life. They are constantly looking for an opening to get back in favor with you and reignite the relationship.
Understandably, you don’t want to have anything to do with your ex. Whether you walked out or your ex initiated the breakup, you are in no mood to get back with your ex. You have had enough and want out.
Now, the big question mark before you is “What to do when your ex is trying to get a reaction out of you?”. However, before you address this question, you need to be sure that this is the case.
This article offers obvious signs your ex is trying to get a reaction out of you. Your ex may be trying to hurt you and provoke you. If you find your ex mocking you, understand that it is not out of jealousy or anger, but because they want a reaction out of you.
Obvious signs your ex is trying to get a reaction out of you
1. Your ex avoids and ignores you
The period immediately after the breakup is traumatizing for both partners. You need to take time off, heal the wounds, and try to find closure. You want to stay as far away from your ex as you possibly can. But you expected your ex to contact you for discussion and reconciliation, especially if you walked out of the relationship.
However, there has been no such move on the part of your ex. It’s complete silence. Even when you tried to contact your ex to get your things back, it went straight to voicemail. Your ex never returned your calls or text messages.
This will get you thinking “What’s up?”. You cannot be faulted for wondering whether your ex is deliberately ignoring you to get a reaction out of you. As they know you so well and how to provoke you, this may be a tactic to trigger your curiosity and rile you up.
Your ex may want to get back with you but is not keen on admitting it. They know that you won’t be able to resist their silence and will contact them. Your ex is clearly looking for evidence of your interest in the relationship and forcing you to take the first step at reconciliation.
2. Your ex delays returning your stuff
You naturally want your things but your ex is either not answering your call, not agreeing to a time and date for the pick up, or worse still, is absent when you turn up for the pickup. You feel that your ex is playing hide and seek with you; definitely, not in the good sense.
Delaying the return of your things may be a deliberate tactic by your ex to keep the door open in the relationship. Clearly, your ex wants you back but is reluctant to come out and say so in the open. Instead, they are trying to get a reaction out of you with these delay tactics.
Your ex may be thinking that you will be forced to contact them, again and again, to get your stuff back. This way, they can manage to keep the communication channel open with you, leaving room for discussion and negotiation.
3. Your ex constantly stalks you on social media
After you broke up with your partner, your ex hasn’t tried to contact you even once. This made you wonder about the reason until you noticed that your ex is stalking you on social media platforms. They have been keeping a close watch on your social media posts and viewing your pictures and videos. Unfortunately for your ex and fortunately for you, any activity on social media can be traced if need be.
Your ex even plays the game of unfollow-and-follow. They might leave you text messages in case you failed to notice their activities. They are not trying to hide their activity or their intention. Clearly, your ex wants you to notice these activities and contact them. Your ex doesn’t want to be the first one to approach you. They are doing everything they can to get a reaction out of you.
4. Your ex tries to get under your skin
As your ex understands you so well and they know what they need to do to rile you up. When you were together, you believed in a “no-secrets” relationship and told them all your embarrassing secrets. Now, they are trying to use the same against you.
Besides blackmailing and exploiting you, your ex also has the advantage of knowing you inside out. This is very useful for them to get under your skin. To you, this may seem evil and cold-hearted. But in reality, all they want is to get a reaction from you.
Probably, your ex wants to get back together with you but is reluctant to make the first move. It’s a game of “Who’ll blink first?” With your reaction, you are showing that you still care.
5. Your ex shows up in your favorite haunts
Again, it is their thorough knowledge about you that comes in handy for your ex. They can predict with accuracy where you will be at any time of the day. When they show up without warning, you’re thrown off the rails. You will find it hard to keep your cool. You cannot help yourself from reacting to such underhand tactics.
This may be at your door, well into the night. Or at your workplace in the middle of the rush hour. They will have some lame excuse ready for you as to why they were forced to disturb you. If you are irritated and angry by their intrusion and make this evident to them, they will take it as proof of your continued interest in them.
They will argue that if you aren’t interested in them, you won’t react at all. Whether this is true or not or whether you agree with it or not, they achieved what they wanted.
6. Check on you constantly
Your ex may call your parents or your sister without your knowledge and ask them whether you are okay, where you are, and whom you are with. This is yet another way your ex is trying to get a reaction out of you. They want your attention back and will do whatever it takes to make sure that they remain in your thoughts.
It can be highly annoying when your ex keeps a tab on your life. But your ex is desperately trying to get you to contact them. They want to know whether their presence in your life matters and will keep checking up on you until they get the desired response from your side.
7. Send you text messages repeatedly
This trick is used by your ex when your ex is feeling lonely and needs your attention. Your ex may text you repeatedly in a short period of time even if their messages get no response from your side.
Your ex wants to know how you are doing and will not give up easily until they get some response from you. Even if your ex does not get a response from your side, the persistent text messages show your ex that you still care about them, and your thoughts are often preoccupied with them.
It is best to remain calm when your ex tries to get a reaction out of you. Your ex isn’t trying to hurt your feelings but wants to bring your attention to themselves. Stay strong, and do not give your ex the satisfaction of getting a reaction from you. This will make your ex realize that their attempts are futile.
8. Do things to trigger your jealousy
Your ex may post a picture of them with someone else to make you feel jealous. Or your ex might start dating someone new just to come in your notice. Both these tactics are your ex’s way of trying to get your attention back.
If you react with jealousy and rage, your ex knows that you still care about them. This is your ex’s way of keeping your interest alive in them.
If your ex tries to get a reaction out of you, it would be best for you to remain unaffected by these tactics and ignore your ex. Your silence will make your ex realize that their attempts to hurt you are futile and convey that your attention is no longer on your ex.
By ignoring your ex’s attempts to provoke you, your ex will realize that the only way to get your attention and your love back is to make a genuine effort for it. It will also show them that their underhand tactics have no effect on you anymore.
9. Try to get you to help them
Don’t be fooled by your ex’s attempts to get back in your good graces! If they unexpectedly reach out for help, it may simply be a way of trying to make you feel guilty and gain access back into your life.
Your ex may ask your help with small tasks or favors, such as helping them out with a project or giving your opinion on something. And if your ex senses any hint of your willingness to assist them in whatever way possible, your ex will take it as an indication that you still have feelings for them and are willing to put your differences
Remain detached from their advances: politely decline the offer without getting drawn into any arguments – this will show them that they no longer have power over you.
More signs your ex is trying to get a reaction out of you
- Prompt you to answer “what-if” situations
- Apologize for their mistakes
- Reveal their vulnerable side to you
- Transform themselves into the person you have always wanted
- Make assumptions about your dating life
- Give you mixed signals to confuse you and get you to react
Final thoughts on when your ex is trying to get a reaction out of you
You can’t for the life of you understand why your ex is still hounding you and trying to get a reaction out of you. “Why can’t they just move on as I have?”
Your ex may be regretting the breakup and wants to get back with you or they are curious as to what you’re up to. They may want to make you feel jealous or see if you’ve improved or changed. Worse still, your ex is a jerk and may be having some fun playing with your feelings.
Irrespective of what reasons prompted your ex to act this way, you should know how to deal with it. When you’re calm, think hard to know whether you want to respond at all. Do you want to reconcile with your ex and get back together? If not, focus on your healing and try to find closure to this painful episode in your life. If need be, cut all ties with your ex.
If your ex continues to be part of your life even after breaking up, it is an indication that they are interested in rekindling your feelings and playing an active role in your life. It’s also important to remember that everyone is different and the way people react to a breakup can vary. If you feel uncomfortable or upset, it might be best to limit or avoid contact with your ex.
Try to stay calm and maintain your boundaries. Remember, it’s ultimately up to you how you react.