An empath is someone who experiences others’ feelings as their own. A super empath is one with heightened empathetic feelings. While a narcissist is a self-centered, egotistical, manipulative, and apathetic person.
When a narcissist gets interested in an empath, the resultant relationship can be harmful and tragic for the empath. This is one of the worst pairings one can come across from the perspective of the empath.
Can an empath beat a narcissist at their own game?
Despite the odds stacking up against them, a super empath will manage to gain strength and courage to break free. The next obvious question is what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist? It will surely not be a pretty picture.
As we know, a narcissist cannot live without their narcissistic supply. They will pull out all the stops to get the empath back. So, things may turn ugly and acrimonious.
This article explores the complex scenario when an empath leaves a narcissist and looks at the event from the perspectives of both the narcissist and the super empath.
What does a narcissist feel when an empath leaves them?
1. Blame game
Narcissists being narcissists will refuse to own up to their mistakes and admit they are wrong. They will blame the empath for the turn of events. It is as if the narcissist has done nothing wrong in the relationship to warrant a breakup.
Empaths being empaths will feel guilty about their role in the saga. The narcissist will try to manipulate the super empath and guilt-trip them into coming back.
2. Victim playing
This is another area of expertise for a narcissist. They subject the super empath to narcissistic abuse, mistreat them, and break their heart.
However, a person suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder declines to see it this way. It’s not that a narcissist doesn’t understand or see the truth. Even after knowing the truth, they deliberately refuse to accept the truth and manipulate it to suit their narrative.
By leaving, the empath is placing the narcissist in a fix. The only escape for them is to reverse the role and play victim, which they do.
3. Malign reputation
When an empath leaves a narcissist, the narcissist will lose face in the public. This is something their ego won’t tolerate. So, the narcissist will hit back the way they know best. They lie and mislead the public into thinking that the super empath is the bad one.
To support their claims, the narcissist will spread lies about the empath. The narcissist will badmouth them and do everything to damage their reputation. This may make the super empath feel isolated and they may feel forced to go back to the narcissist.
4. Emotional blackmail
For someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, emotional blackmail is a powerful weapon. Narcissists are willing to say or do anything to get what they want.
When an empath leaves a narcissist, the narcissist will claim that they will remain sad and single. They will place the entire blame for the breakup on the super empath. The narcissist knows exactly how to manipulate the empath. They know their weaknesses and triggers. They make the best use of their in-depth knowledge of the super empath characteristics to emotionally blackmail them.
5. Fake remorse
If none of their above tactics are working and the super empath refuses to come back, the narcissist pulls out their fail-safe weapon. – fake remorse. They make a show of admitting their mistakes. They even tell the empath that they miss them. Now, they realize why they have been insensitive to the empath and they promise to change for the better.
The narcissist may even draw up an elaborate plan about the path of transformation. This is just a ploy to get the super empath to come back and regain their narcissistic supply. . They have no intention of reformation. In fact, narcissists cannot change on their own without getting proper medical treatment.
6. Crushed ego
Narcissists suffer from insecurity and low self-esteem, though they try their best to hide these from the public. Due to this, they need constant validation from external sources. Since they are in a relationship, they expect validation from their partner.
The worst part about this is that the narcissist aims to get reassurance through narcissistic abuse. This may sound weird but true. The narcissist feels important when they are dominating the relationship. When an empath leaves a narcissist, it creates a huge dent in their ego. Their make-believe world collapses.
7. Rebound relationship
Just because the super empath decided to break up with them doesn’t mean the narcissist will bow down. They have no plans to mend their ways. But cannot do without their narcissistic supply either. So, when they find out that the empath is not returning, they will start searching for a new victim.
The narcissist feels that they need to get into another relationship immediately to save their public image. They feel they need this to regain their self-worth. Moreover, they feel that this is the ideal way to make the super empath jealous.
The rebound may be fictitious or real. And, the narcissist doesn’t care if one more person gets hurt or not.
8. Discussion, diplomacy, and negotiation
When they see none of the above options working out, the narcissist will try to talk their way out of the mess they find themselves in and win the empath back. They seem to be willing to accept the terms and conditions of the super empath. “Tell me exactly what you want from me?”
The narcissist may offer to go one step beyond what is asked of them. You need to remember that this is typical narcissistic behavior. They promise heaven to get what they want. The moment they get it, they will forget all about their promises.
Once the super empath agrees to return, the narcissistic partner will continue their abusive ways.
9. Threats, warnings, and ultimatums
When the negotiations fail, threats can’t be far behind. And threats from a narcissist can be ruthless. They are capable of destroying a person’s life without feeling bad about it especially if it means saving their own.
The narcissist may spread invented stories to destroy the empath’s stature in society. They will try to damage their friendships and cut them off from their support system. Emotional abuse may turn into physical abuse if allowed to continue.
10. The downfall
At some point, the super empath decides enough is enough and calls it quits. All this while, they played along not because they were unaware of what was going on. After all, they are capable of reading people’s minds. Until now, the empath was giving the impression of an underdog – someone who can be controlled and manipulated. Now, they prove their mental strength.
Once the super empath makes this decision, there is not much the narcissist can do about it. They fall apart like a house of cards. They will continue with their dirty tricks but deep down they realize that they are beaten.
The empath’s perspective of the incident
Even when the narcissist is going through a procession of emotions, the empath has to undertake their own journey. Here are the highlights of the empath’s perspective of the same event.
- They question their decision-making skills and ability to make the right choice.
- They have doubts about whether their partner is suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder and if they could have done anything different to help them.
- They ask themselves if the relationship is falling apart because they overreacted.
- They consider whether the relationship deserves one more chance.
- They know that they need to cut ties with the narcissist, but are afraid of what others may think.
- They are terrified of taking any action fearing that they will go wrong again.
- They grieve the loss of their partner and the breakup of their relationship.
- They are swayed by the narcissist’s promises and threats and may reconsider their decision.
- Sometimes, they fall for the sweet talk and fake attempts of the narcissist and reconcile.
- Finally, after a few cycles of emotional abuse, the empath decides to walk away.
- They take longer to heal from this breakup than normal people.
- Once an empath goes through this experience, they will take enough care not to repeat the same.
Final thoughts on what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist
The general impression is that it is the narcissist who’ll drive others crazy. Even though it is unintentional, super empaths can deny the narcissist their basic need for narcissistic supply and destroy them completely. At the end of the day, the empath will remain unaffected and come out of the episode unscathed while the narcissistic partner is broken and ruined.
To make this possible, a super empath has to rein in their feelings and think logically. It may take them some time to stop thinking with their heart and use their mind. Once they learn how to do this, there is no stopping the empath. Only a super empath can destroy a narcissist.