A narcissist can wreak havoc in your life. Breaking away from them can also be traumatic.
How will a narcissistic person react when you stop chasing them? Or what are the consequences when you ignore a narcissist who dumped you? Will a narcissist leave you alone if you ignore them?
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, before walking away from them, you need to consider all these scenarios and their outcomes. Or else, you will find yourself in a situation worse than earlier.
This article explores how you can break free from the iron grip of a narcissist. Here you will find answers to questions on this topic, specifically, what happens when you ignore a narcissist.
What can you expect when ignoring a narcissist?
For a narcissist, you, their life partner, are also the primary narcissistic supply. The term narcissistic supply refers to the constant supply of attention and admiration needed by narcissists. Narcissistic supply is vital for the basic survival of the narcissist.
By ignoring a narcissist or walking away from them, you are robbing them of their narcissistic supply. When a narcissist is denied their narcissistic supply, they are bound to feel angry and may go out of control. The narcissist may also try to wrestle back their narcissistic supply by wooing you back into their fold.
When the narcissist tries to win you back after a breakup, they may not be the same charming selves as you in the initial stages of the relationship. This stage, known as the idealization stage, is an integral part of a narcissistic relationship. But when it is repeated after ignoring a narcissist, the magical touch may be absent. It can even get abusive and toxic.
When you ignore a narcissist, you are hurting their fragile ego. There is a good chance for the narcissist to feel resentful and angry and lash out at you blindly for the humiliation you caused them. For a narcissist, their image is all important.
If you ignore the relentless advances of a narcissist who is trying to tempt you into a relationship with them, you may find that this will only make them pursue you harder.
1. They may pursue you relentlessly
Men, in general, like the chase in a relationship. They like to chase the woman they’re interested in. a narcissist also likes to chase. But unless the chase ends in a success, they may feel enraged about the whole thing.
The narcissist will stoop at nothing while pursuing the person they are in love with. In the beginning, they will bring out all their charm, expertise, and promises to make you feel on top of the world. They will shower you with expensive gifts to make you feel special.
However, once you relent and say “yes” to a relationship, the idealization stage will end and the devaluation stage will begin. This is when you will experience real narcissistic abuse. The eager-to-please personality completely vanishes and is replaced by emotional frigidity and a lack of concern and interest in your well-being.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist is not an easy life. The partner of a narcissist will suffer loneliness, despair, and hopelessness because of the absence of empathy in their behavior and excessive feelings of entitlement. Narcissists are insensitive to the feelings and needs of others. In addition, they have poor tolerance for criticism, not to mention rejection, ignoring them, or walking away.
A narcissistic person firmly believes in their virtue and cannot recognize or admit their mistakes. So, an apology is also ruled out.
If you find yourself trapped in a relationship with a narcissist and finally manage to gather enough courage to ignore them or walk away, you can expect the worst. The kind of angry outburst you witness might shock you.
You can expect hostile words, nasty texts, and a whole lot of drama. When you don’t respond to a narcissist text, more accusations and nastiness will follow.
Either a narcissist will revert to the idealization stage to woo you back into the relationship or unleash a lethal campaign to destroy you. Even when the narcissist goes back to the idealization stage, they may never ask you why you left them or ignored them, like a normal person.
A narcissist cannot survive without the presence of the narcissistic supply in their life. Either they get you back or they find another one.
2. They may try to destroy you with their uncontrollable anger
Narcissists come with fragile egos. This makes them especially vulnerable to criticism and humiliation. When you ignore a narcissist or break up with them, you are denying them their success. This will hurt their ego and they will feel humiliated. All these will make them feel vulnerable and feel the need to protect their image and interests. This is the reason behind their angry outburst and violent behavior.
Because of their narcissistic behavior, they fail to understand the needs and viewpoints of others. Everything they do is to satisfy their needs and wishes.
The only way you can handle a breakup from a narcissist is by enforcing the no-contact rule. No personal visits, no phone calls, no texts, and no emails. In fact, no one-on-one contact.
The no-contact rule may help you stay safe from a narcissist after the breakup. Though they will try their best to circumvent the rules and contact you, if you take enough precautions, you may manage to stay out of their eyesight. They may ultimately lose interest in you and find another source of narcissistic supply.
If you find yourself trapped in a relationship with a narcissist, you may suffer from emotional damage and end up caught up in an endless cycle of narcissistic abuse. Unintentionally and unwittingly, you provided them with the most essential narcissistic supply. Feeding off this, the narcissist grows into monstrous proportions, making it hard for you to escape from their clutches.
3. They may try to harm your reputation
As part of their retaliatory behavior, the narcissist may spread rumors and stories about you among your family and friends. This works in two ways to cause damage to you. This will alienate your loved ones from you and you may lose your support system. Moreover, no one will believe in your innocence and would rather believe in your narcissistic partner. This is a huge blow to you.
The narcissist will find both turns of events to their advantage. As you lose support, you will find it hard to stay away from the narcissist and may return to them despite the abuse. With your reputation in shambles and no one to support or believe in you, you may go back to the narcissist.
4. They may unleash negative behavior
Though the relationship with a narcissist begins with the idealization stage, there is nothing positive about this relationship. Even the idealization stage will last only until you play along with it. The moment you show your protest, it will turn into devaluation. This is another term for putting down.
You may expect the narcissist to be angry, enraged, petulant, and hurling insults at you. You may also witness their passive-aggressive behavior online on social media pages.
5. They may try to manipulate you
This is usually done during the idealization stage. They will tell you all that you want to hear and more. They make tall promises. However, when you decide on ignoring a narcissist, all this will change. The sweet talk will change to threats, attacks, manipulation, and violence.
A narcissist cannot differentiate between positive and negative engagements. Hold on to your no-contact rule and soon they will find someone else to play around with,
FAQs
Let's face it - narcissists can be hard to deal with. They often have an inflated sense of self-importance and are always looking for more attention and admiration than they deserve. But what happens when you decide to ignore them? Is it possible that ignoring a narcissist will make them go away?
The short answer is, unfortunately, not likely. Ignoring a narcissist does not work the same way as it does with other people. You see, when someone else gets ignored, they may choose to try harder or give up altogether. With a narcissist, their need for control and attention often overrides their capacity to care about being ignored or rejected by another person.
This does not mean that you should never ignore a narcissist, however. In fact, in some cases ignoring them may be the only thing that works - at least temporarily. Remember that if you do decide to ignore a narcissist, it is important to remain consistent in your decision and not give into their attempts at manipulation or attention seeking behaviour; otherwise they will simply continue their relentless pursuit of getting their way.
There are many different ways to make a narcissist miserable. Here are some of the most effective approaches:
- Don't pay attention to their needs and wants. Narcissists crave attention and recognition, so by denying them these things you can really get under their skin.
- Refuse compliments and positive affirmation. Narcissists love flattery, so if you don't give them any, it will leave them feeling unappreciated.
- Hold your ground in arguments and debates. Narcissists often rely on being right in order to feel powerful, so when they encounter someone who won't back down, it can be incredibly frustrating for them.
- Make sure not to give into manipulation tactics such as guilt trips or intimidation. Narcissists use these tactics as weapons to control people, and they won't stand for it if you refuse to comply with their wishes.
- Stand up for yourself and don't be afraid to express your opinion - even if it contradicts what the narcissist believes is true. This can throw a major wrench into their plans and make them feel powerless.
It is often best to not respond to a narcissist. Whether you choose to engage with them or not, it's important to remember that the goal of a narcissist is always to make themselves feel better at the expense of other people. Narcissists will do anything and say anything to manipulate, control, or dominate their victims. The best way to deal with a narcissist is by setting clear boundaries and maintaining them. Make sure your communication is direct and assertive but also respectful and compassionate. Attempting to reason with a narcissist will very rarely work; instead, focus on maintaining your own sense of peace and wellbeing by staying away from them if possible.
If you find yourself dealing with a narcissist who is giving you the silent treatment, it can be a difficult situation to manage. Here are some tips for navigating this tricky relationship dynamic:
Make sure you are understanding what the real issue is. Often times, the silent treatment is their way of punishing or controlling you without actually saying anything.
Communicate your own feelings and needs clearly and compassionately. This will let them know that their actions have affected you negatively, but also that you are still willing to listen to them and understand their perspective.
Don't get dragged into an argument or label-based insults as these will only make matters worse. Instead, stay focused on addressing the problem at hand and calming down both parties if necessary.
Know when it's time to walk away and take care of yourself, even if that means temporarily leaving the conversation or situation all together for a while.
If you're concerned that you could be a victim of a narcissist, there are some key signs to look out for. People with narcissistic tendencies will often:
- Be controlling and manipulative in their relationships
- Take credit for your successes and blame you for their failures
- Gaslight you, making you doubt your own judgement and perception of reality
- Criticize and belittle you in front of others
- Have a strong need for admiration from others
- Show an inability to take responsibility for their actions
Final thoughts on when you ignore a narcissist
Ignoring a narcissist should be done at your own peril. You may have to face the consequences of ignoring them. However, if you can manage to hold your ground, the narcissist may eventually give up and seek their next victim elsewhere.
However, if you’re trapped in a relationship with a narcissist, this may be your only way out. This can lead to your self-growth and self-respect. So, all the effort and pain are not in vain.