The way our brain is wired, we are all easily susceptible to misunderstandings and misinterpretations. This can lead to uncertainties and conjectures and if left alone, can develop into insecurities and instabilities.
However much both partners in a relationship try, feelings of insecurity are hard to avoid or eliminate. You should learn how to deal with them because that can make all the difference.
Women are as easy prey to insecurity as men. This article focuses on insecurities felt by women in a relationship. Here you will find its triggers and signs and suggestions on dealing with insecurity in women.
What makes a woman insecure in a relationship?
At the beginning of the relationship, everything is so flawless and perfect that there is no warning of the storms to come. By the time you realize that something is not right, the problem would have become far too serious.
If you have done your homework and try to know more about how a woman’s mind works, you will be better prepared for this turn of events. What makes a woman feel insecure? What does insecurity mean for a girl? What are the triggers, signs, and list of female insecurities?
After all, it is said that women are from Venus and men are from Mars. It is not easy for a man to understand the workings of a woman’s mind. Again, as the saying goes, nothing is impossible. All it takes is some extra effort. And, it would be worth it.
Let us get back to the topic of what makes a woman insecure in a relationship.
1. She feels neglected
Whether you are neglecting her or not, as long she feels so, she is bound to feel insecure. Even if you are neglecting her, you may be doing it unawares. She would like to feature at the top of your priority list. If she comes across incidents that prove to the contrary, you cannot blame her for feeling ignored and insecure.
How to deal with this: Take her into confidence and impress upon her the need for you to do certain things. Convince her that this is not ignoring her. Also, encourage her to be more independent and have a life of her own.
2. You keep secrets from her
When she discovers that you have kept one secret, her mind will go into overdrive thinking up all the secrets you may be keeping from her. Again, you cannot blame her here. You committed a cardinal sin and so be ready to apologize.
How to deal with this: A healthy relationship demands both partners to be open with each other. The moment you start keeping secrets, you are in trouble. Learn the art of taking your partner into confidence right from the beginning of the relationship. This will serve you well in the long run. And, if you made a mistake, leave the ego aside and apologize from the heart.
3. You broke her trust
When a woman enters into a relationship, she is letting you enter her exclusive trust circle. This is a small circle with few members whom she trusts implicitly. If knowingly or unknowingly, you break her trust and belief in you, it is hard to get it back. If you think about it, it is the same thing with you as well. Trust, once broken, is hard to rebuild.
How to deal with this: If you value your relationship be careful not to break the trust. Cultivate the habit of being open with each other. Make sure that communication remains top-notch. This doesn’t mean you have to walk on eggshells all the time when you are in a relationship. If you are honest and truthful, there won’t be any serious breach of trust.
4. Her past relationships were disastrous
The people in her life before your time may not have treated her well. Maybe she was cheated, abused, or looked down upon. Though she knows you are a different person and you have given her no reason to feel insecure, her past experiences are bound to color her thoughts and feelings. The hurt and shame she experienced earlier will remain in her subconscious mind and influence her present thoughts and actions.
How to deal with this: You can take extra effort to make her feel loved and cherished. Use every opportunity available to reiterate this. Give her no opportunity to substantiate her insecure thoughts. With time, her insecure feelings will fade away.
5. You are still in touch with your ex
If you remain close to your ex, even if it is platonic, it will make her jealous, suspicious, and insecure. There is nothing to be done about it. Both you and your ex may have moved on and are just friends. But your ex’s presence in your life will make her feel uncomfortable and jittery.
Again, she may not be off the mark altogether. You and your ex were once romantically involved and the spark can rekindle any time. If you value your current relationship, why jeopardize it by maintaining your contact with your ex? Your relationship with your ex did not last for some reason. Leave it at that and move on.
How to deal with this: Keep your ex at an arm’s distance. If you want to get together with your ex, include your partner. Don’t engage with private chats or conversations with your ex behind your partner’s back. Be open about your relationship with your ex.
The feelings of insecurity in a woman may be triggered by her own shortfalls as well.
- She has low self-esteem and confidence.
- She may be suffering from an “insecure attachment style” due to a troubled childhood.
- She has lost her personal identity.
- She is lacking in personal life fulfillment.
Signs of insecurity in women
When a woman feels insecure, she makes it known through her behavior and actions.
- She is easily hurt or offended.
- She turns into a control freak.
- She is jealous.
- She likes to play the victim.
- She is critical of other women.
- She can’t be happy about your success.
- She is sensitive about her body image.
- She tries extra hard to please everyone.
- She is always on the defensive.
- She engages in attention-seeking activities.
- She constantly compares herself to your exes.
- She demands constant attention and compliments.
How to overcome insecurity in a relationship?
Both partners can contribute to remove doubts in a relationship and make each other feel more secure.
Avoiding certain triggers and following some steps can help in feeling secure in a relationship.
- Surround yourself with people who love you and care about you.
- Keep yourself busy in something productive that gives you fulfillment.
- Sort out your personal issues.
- Pamper yourself.
- Get help if needed.
Insecurity in relationships is neither rare nor abnormal. Nor should it make you feel scared or helpless. However, the fact remains that dating an insecure woman is challenging and unsettling.
Insecurity can affect us in many ways. It can destroy the mental and physical wellbeing and social skills and life of both partners. But there is no need to despair.
As a partner, you can take the responsibility to initiate the corrective steps and avoid pitfalls to stop her from feeling desperate and insecure.