This is something all single women are warned to stay clear from. Married men. Despite all the warnings, relationships with married men are too common to ignore.
Why do married men fall in love? What makes them attractive to single women when there are many single men out there? How do you know that a married man wants to be more than your friend?
These are some of the typical questions that you may want to know the answers to. Read on to gain more understanding about relationships with married men. Here you will find the common signs that a married man loves you. This article also attempts to answer why a married man says I love you.
Why does a married man search for love elsewhere?
The initiative for the relationship may come from either of the two individuals involved. When a married man falls for another woman, the reason can be anything. Some of the obvious ones are:
- He is not getting the kind of affection and support from his wife.
- His marriage is stagnating. There is no excitement in it anymore.
- He may be trying to reinvent himself and give himself a new identity.
- He might be seeing you as a breath of fresh air in his life.
- He might have received support from you in a crisis.
- You might have made him feel whole and loved again.
- You might have restored his belief in love and marriage.
- You might have the qualities he is looking for in his partner.
As a single woman, you never intentionally pursued a married man. But you were definitely looking for love and a relationship. And he just happened to give you the kind of attention and love you wanted.
When a married man takes extra pains to be nice and pleasant to you, you naturally feel closer to him. You are impressed by his confidence and good manners as he is already well-settled in life. Most probably he is a successful businessman or has a well-paying job.
You are thrilled that he finds you attractive and wants to shower his affection and attention on you. This may start innocently from either side but as you get to know each other better, you could sense a romantic feeling building up. It’s not hard to recognize the signs when a married man says he misses you.
Again, you may be married or single. If you are single, it is easy to see why you are interested in a married man. On the other hand, if you are married, it is clear that you are not happy in your marriage but do not dare to admit it or walk out of it. You see this opportunity as heaven-sent and grab it with both hands.
Love and romance remain exciting until you get married. Once the honeymoon period is over and things settle down to a routine, it is easy to lose interest and take each other for granted. Love and affection for each other will fizzle out like air from a balloon.
You stop making efforts to do things for each other and please each other. Partners can turn more demanding when they take each other for granted. Ultimately, the marriage will become just an empty shell with no soul or life within it.
Though searching for love elsewhere is looked down upon while still married, the real blame should go to the complex factors triggering it. Such as societal norms and pressures.
If you find yourself loving a married man who loves you, you need to look out for signs of chemistry and compatibility between the two of you. Here are some of the most common signs of a married man flirting to check this out.
Signs of a married man in love with another woman
A married man may not be so forthcoming with his affections as he is unsure of your reaction and afraid of the repercussions. When a married man says he loves you, then definitely he has made up his mind about you and is ready to go ahead with the relationship.
If you want to know what he is thinking about you before he comes out with such an admission, you should look out for these signs.
1. He gives you compliments.
Usually, this is the starting point of a relationship with a married man. This is a way of testing your interest in him. When a married man compliments you, be it personal or professional, then your internal radar should go “Beep, beep!”.
These compliments on their own are quite harmless. They can be construed either as a colleague/friend being nice to you or trying to figure out your interest in him. It depends on your reaction to the first episode whether he will continue pursuing the same approach.
If you are bowled over by his compliments and are more than friendly toward him, he will take it as a green signal to pursue you in earnest. The innocent and harmless compliments will get more and more direct and serious until one fine day he confesses his true feelings for you.
You cannot deny that his compliments got your attention exactly the way he intended them to be. If you are aware that this is a sign of something bigger, you can anticipate his next actions right away. This can help you deflect his advances or encourage him depending on how you want to take it forward.
2. He is eager to interact with you.
If you happen to catch his attention, he will try his best to connect with you and use every opportunity to talk to you. He will let you choose the topic of the conversation and feel happy to chat with you. Be it weather, sports, difficulties of the daily commute, global warming, or politics.
When he is talking to you, he will always maintain a cheerful and friendly tone of voice. He never seems to disagree with you on anything. He is equally interested in texting you and often initiates conversations. If you care to notice, you will find him trying hard to hold your attention.
After every conversation with him, you will be left feeling that you have made a positive difference to his day and life in general. You are not sure from where you got this impression but it leaves you feeling happy and content.
3. He is up-to-date on what is happening in your personal life.
Again, you aren’t sure about his source but he seems too knowledgeable about your life, on your love life in particular. This makes sense as he secretly loves you and is concerned about your relationship status. He desperately hopes that you do not get into a serious relationship with someone else.
When a married man falls in love with you and as he realizes the fact that you are in a relationship with someone else, he tries his best to belittle your partner in the hope that you will break up with this person. Another obvious reason for his behavior is that he is jealous. He will try to set the right stage and time to reveal his feelings for you. With this move, he is also trying to know how you feel about him.
No matter what his reasoning is, your personal life and relationship will come up often in your conversations with this married guy.
4. He overshares his personal life with you or withholds it completely.
It’s either of the extremes and not the usual middle path that regular people tend to take while interacting with acquaintances. When a married man is interested in you, he may share too many personal details of his married life, often making you feel uncomfortable. Even if you indicate that you aren’t keen on listening to this, he will carry on ignoring your request.
In this instance, he will use the opportunity to highlight the fact that his relationship is less than perfect and is not happy. He may even indicate that he is planning to call it quits and search for real love. He wants you to get a real picture of his life so that you understand what kind of situation you are getting into if you agree to have a relationship with him.
On the other hand, he may just clam up in his personal life as well. Neither does he mention anything about his wife or marriage nor does he bring her to parties and outings. Maybe by doing this, he is trying to forget and erase the reality of his marriage and give the impression that he is free for a relationship.
Maybe the real reason for his behavior is his regret. He thinks of his marriage as a mistake and is trying to hide it to create an impression that it is not there. This act of his is a clear indication that he is looking for love elsewhere.
5. He is eager to be of help to you.
This is his way of cozying up to you. When you need help, he uses the opportunity to get closer to you. The fact that a married man goes out of his way to help you, is enough to raise red flags.
Though this alone cannot be used as a confirmation, together with other signs, it will give you an inkling of his intentions. Because there are still some genuinely good people left in this world who help others without any mal-intentions or expecting anything in return.
The scope and definition of “help” offered may vary from person to person. While some are willing to offer the regular kind of help, some married men would move heaven and earth to get things done for you.
When a married man is putting in so much effort to make your life easier, it means he is falling for you.
6. He emphasizes your similarities and compatibility.
When you compare the personalities of two individuals, you can obviously find some common points and some differences. This guy seems to highlight the similarities while ignoring the differences. When a married man does this, it is clear that he is interested in you.
If he is the kind of person who talks about the troubles in his personal life, he will stress the fact that he and his wife are very dissimilar. He reiterates as often as he can that they have nothing in common. This is one of the oldest ploys used by married men to get sympathy and show their interest in forming new relationships.
Be careful about this move as it can be faked. Once this married guy knows about your interests, he can always display his knowledge and show interest in the same activity. Before you fall for this gag, make sure that he is honest and genuine.
7. He is eloquent in his body language.
As he is married, he may not reveal his feelings for you easily. He is bound to take his own time. But you can see what is on his mind by reading his body language. Here are some of the most common body language signs to look for in a married man.
- He leans forward when talking to you.
- He is unusually nervous and fussy around you.
- He makes constant eye contact with you.
- He smiles at you to indicate that he is happy to be with you.
- He uses every opportunity to touch or brush against your body.
He tries to reduce the personal space between the two of you. You often find him looking at you. He is always well turned out and in his best appearance when you are around. He may ask your opinions about personal matters and decisions. He consults you when shopping for shoes and clothes.
These are easy-to-spot body language signs to help you gain an insight into his mind.
8. He sets aside time for you.
It is a general perception that men who are married afford top priority to their family, especially their wives. However, if he is no longer interested in his marriage and is searching for love elsewhere, it is natural that he wants to stay away from home and his wife. If he is keen on building a relationship with you, he will devote all his time and attention to you.
You may find him free to go out with you on weekends. That is clearly a red flag. It says that you are his top priority and he is falling in love with you. He may prioritize you over his wife and family and even his work and professional commitments. In short, he will act like a teenager in love.
He will be willing to do your bidding and run errands for you. He would want you to know that he will do anything to make you happy and comfortable. Not just with activities, he will also be ready at hand to chill out with you.
This one is sure to get your attention. How often have you seen a man go out of his way to do things for you? Even your best friends have their own families to take care of. When a married man showers so much attention on you, rest assured, he is falling for you big time.
9. He keeps in regular touch with you.
If he cannot be near you physically 24×7, he uses technology to stay in touch with you. He frequently calls or texts. In case you do not answer the calls or reply to his messages, he gets worked up, assumes the worst, and spares no effort to ensure that you are okay.
He thinks that he can get to know you better through these conversations. And use this opportunity to become an integral part of your life. He clearly finds you irresistible and is obsessed with you. He feels helpless and lost when he stays away from you.
Whenever you are apart, to make up for his absence in your life, he will send you flowers, chocolates, cakes, wines, and other obviously romantic gifts. This is his way of telling you that he loves you without actually coming out and saying it.
10. He seeks your opinion on all essential matters.
When a married man is in love with you and isn’t yet ready to say it out loud, he will drop hints and use your conversations with him to convey the news clandestinely. He will ask for your opinion on relationships, marriage, and divorce. He would want to know what you think about cheating, infidelity, and silent love.
He will use all that you say to align himself with your likes and dislikes. Besides taking your opinions about his personal matters, he will also offer suggestions on important matters in your life. With this, he wants to display his knowledge, understanding, and competence. He just wants to prove to you that he can be the best partner you are ever going to find.
11. He is perfect in every sense when you are around.
He is impeccably dressed and on his best behavior when you are watching him. He is a perfect gentleman, caring, chivalrous, and charming to the core. He is witty, easy-going, and the soul of any gathering. He can make you laugh even when your chips are down.
When a married man is in love with you and wants to impress you, he will use every means available to him to make you fall equally in love with him. All his actions are oriented towards this. He wants you to think of him as the perfect partner you are ever going to have in your life.
He doesn’t restrict himself to being a sweet and kind person. He will also want you to know that he is strong, bold, and courageous. He will do things to display his intelligence and confidence and make sure that you know that he is successful in everything he attempts.
Come to think of it, why would anyone try to impress you unless they are in love with you and want you to feel the same way?
Do you feel it in your bones?
Do you know that your gut feeling is a culmination of all the signs your subconscious mind is noticing and absorbing?
Women are well-known to have a keen sense of intuition. Your subconscious mind is picking up some of the signs and signals mentioned above and using them to generate this feeling in you. So, if your instinct is telling you that this married man is falling for you, you should trust it implicitly. There is no reason to doubt your inner voice.
However, in real life, you may ignore this intuitive feeling because you don’t want to believe it. You may try to fool yourself that this guy is doing so much for you because he is a true friend and nothing more. You may be able to deceive yourself for a little bit longer, but ultimately this is going to come out in the open and you will be forced to accept and acknowledge it.
If you are ready to take the plunge, do it knowing full well the consequences of dating a married man. Prepare yourself well so that you will not get hurt in the process.
Is he fighting against his love for you?
If what he is feeling for you is genuine, he wouldn’t take the plunge from the very beginning. He will try to ignore and suppress the love he feels for you. He would consider this as straying and he would be guilty since he is still married to his wife and has a family to think of. Also, if he is a considerate person, he would think about you as well; the kind of mess he would be dragging you into and the future you would have by dating him.
In case you are also married, he would have to factor in your husband and family as well. He would be traumatized by the level of pain and damage he would be unleashing by revealing his love for you.
He will be torn between his love for you and the pain he would be causing everyone involved. There would be phases when he would force himself to stay away from you – not talking to you, not answering your calls and texts, and ignoring your existence. But all the while he is still in love with you and fighting hard against it.
How long this phase will last depends on how strong his feelings are for you. If he is genuinely in love with you, the love would prevail and that is when a married man says he loves you.
You may feel confused by his on and off attitude towards you. Initially, he was so enamored by you and can’t get enough of you. Then, suddenly, he withdraws into a shell and you feel as if he is trying to avoid you. Rest assured, he still loves you more than ever. It is just that he is conscious of the complex situation he is in and trying to prevent hurting everyone.
You can help by opening up to him and telling him exactly what is on your mind. Having a heart-to-heart conversation can help you decide the right course of action.
Commonly asked questions
1. How can you make sure that a married man is falling for you?
When a married man develops feelings for you, he may keep it to himself for some time, trying to figure out what to do with it. He is afraid of hurting people in his life and getting you into a tricky situation. He will fight against this feeling as much as he can. But in the meanwhile, he will be giving out signs that he loves you. All you need to do is look out for these telltale signs.
2. Is it possible for a married man to fall for another woman?
Why not? After all, all of us are human beings and we crave love and affection. If we are not getting it from where we are supposed to, we will search for it elsewhere. When a married guy is not happy in his marriage and feels that there is no love left in it, he will begin to look for the same in his environment. If he happens to find all that he wants in his partner in another woman, he will, no doubt, fall for her.
3. How to tell if a married man is making you a pawn?
Just because a married man displays all the obvious signs of love doesn’t mean he is genuinely in love with you. He probably must be faking it for his own gains. Married man flirting is not so uncommon. Maybe he is showing love to you to get his wife jealous and revive his marriage. Or he may be using you only to satisfy his carnal needs. You can figure out the genuineness of his love for you by asking these questions.
- What are the things that bring you together?
- Does he respect you for who you are?
- Does he respect your boundaries?
- Does he acknowledge you as his partner publicly?
- Does he include you in his future plans?
Whatever his reasons for falling for you, it is up to you to decide whether you want to have a relationship with a married man. Before taking the plunge, you should be well aware of the complications and hardships involved.
For all you know, you may find yourself dumped ignominiously in the end. Then, you will find it hard to pick up the pieces of your life and move on.
Suppose you are not comfortable with the whole idea of being in a relationship with a married man, bail out at the beginning itself. As soon as you get an inkling of what is on his mind, you can choose to move away from him and maintain distance.
You can use simple tactics to discourage his advances and let him know that you are not interested. If he is not taking the hint and nothing else works, tell him outright that you don’t want to be in a relationship with him. Taking a firm stand is vital in such situations.
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