A narcissist can make you pull your hair out with frustration and anger. Life may seem so hopeless to you that you will go into a deep depression.
If you’re feeling this way now, don’t blame yourself for what you’re going through. You’re the victim of narcissistic abuse. Remind yourself that you’re a narcissistic supply. Just remember that you can find a way out of the mess. There’s always hope.
You love your partner but their actions make you wonder if they reciprocate even a minuscule amount of your feelings. Are they merely faking it for their own gains?
Are they feeding off your frustration and depression? Do they always want you to feel miserable? Is that what they want from you? Do they even want you to be happy and feel good?
How does it make them feel when you move on in life and accomplish your goals? Or are they so selfish that all they care about is themselves?
What will happen when a narcissist sees you looking good and happy?
This article focuses on the internal mechanisms of a narcissistic mind and offers you insights into how they work. Here you’ll find the most common reactions of a narcissist when they see you looking good.
If you see no signs of improvement, it is time you start thinking of breaking up. You need to focus on narcissistic abuse recovery.
What will happen when a narcissist sees you looking good?
A narcissist is self-centered and manipulative and is a lot invested in their own happiness and contentment. Even if you’re aware of this, you still love them and care a lot about them. You just cannot help this.
Sometimes, we get ourselves into situations like this and don’t know how to extricate ourselves. We may want things that aren’t good for us, sometimes even things that can harm us.
Whether you’re in a toxic relationship with a narcissist or managed to free yourself from the bondage, you need to be aware of what they think about you when a narcissist sees you happy in your own life and looking great.
1. They act in weird ways
Or so it may seem to you.
You’re happy and acing life. Though this is not what a narcissist wants to happen because they fear they’ll lose control over you if you’re successful. But if you manage this despite their best efforts to keep you, they’ll think “So be it”.
However, the matters won’t rest at that. The narcissist cannot let it go without taking some advantage of the situation, even if it is not to their liking.
Narcissists thrive on focusing everyone’s attention on themselves. They will use this occasion also for this. Maybe they can use this opportunity to gain your attention or that of the people who admire you for your success.
As you imagined, this is not straightforward or easy to achieve. Here are a few examples of how a narcissist may exploit this situation.
- Get in touch with people supporting you and churn the rumor mill about you or your loved ones.
- Constantly create disruptions in your life with arguments, disagreements, and conflicts to destroy your optimistic outlook.
- Leave sarcastic, irritating, or even hostile comments on your social media profiles.
- Post self-promoting and attention-seeking posts, photos, or videos to divert the attention of your well-wishers.
- Pretend to date someone else to make you sit up and notice.
- Hint at or threaten you of infidelity to bring down your positive energy.
2. They’ll make you feel horrible
Being a narcissist, they know how to manipulate and control you. They know exactly how to make you feel bad about yourself, taking away all the good vibes. After all, you’re their narcissistic supply.
They may achieve this either directly by interacting with you or indirectly through your family and friends. Spreading rumors is a common tactic used by narcissists to get to you indirectly. You’ll begin to doubt your worth and ability to love and be loved.
“Oh! They’re no good.”
A narcissist is good at inventing stories to support such degrading statements about you in your contact circle. Those who really know you and care about you will not buy this, but some may. However, the most important question is, are you?
The narcissist may be so convincing that you’ll fall for it. They know exactly how to manipulate your thoughts and feelings so that their degrading statement may seem real to you. Once you start believing that you’re worthless, you’ll no longer be happy or feel good.
Mission accomplished for the narcissist.
3. They try to outdo you
Narcissists consider themselves better than everyone. So, it is natural that they don’t want you to look better than themselves. When a narcissist sees you moving on and doing well, they’ll try every trick in their arsenal to pull you down. If not, they’ll go one step beyond you.
If you land a good job, they get a better one. If possible, they’ll start their own business or company.
If you bought a nice dress, they’ll get one from a high-end brand; something that will make your eyes pop out.
The same is the case when you buy yourself a new phone, laptop, or anything else. They’ll try to outshine you with something better than what you got.
When they see you happy and content with your new possession or latest achievement, they feel envious and will start resenting you. They firmly believe that they deserve the best of everything. So, how can they tolerate you basking in the glory of your new possession?
They respond by being competitive and getting themselves something better.
4. They don’t like what they’re seeing
You’re happy and content. This is something a narcissist will never tolerate or ever want to see. They survive by keeping you unhappy and discontent. You’re their narcissistic supply.
Sometimes, when you’re dealing with a narcissist, you may wonder whether they have human emotions at all. Though it may come as a surprise to you, they do have feelings.
Unfortunately, their minds are so twisted that what they do with these emotions is scary. It may make you think of them as sociopaths or psychopaths.
However, there is no denying that narcissists have feelings just like any of us. But the difference is in how they process their feelings. It is hugely influenced by their need for attention for themselves.
They’ll always want to be at the center of the Universe for everyone they come in contact with. They’ll always want the spotlight on themselves.
5. They sense their hold on you slipping away
As long as everyone’s attention is focused on them, including yours, they are happy. However, when you’re happy and looking good, you clearly are putting your needs above theirs and focusing on yourself. This is something a narcissist will never tolerate.
A narcissist is not content with sharing the spotlight either. They want the whole of it. No compromises. Seeing you happy and looking good will definitely make them desperate and unhappy.
For one, they know that once you taste happiness, you’ll want to hold on to it. This means leaving the narcissist. Or they may think that you’ll get addicted to freedom and success and that you’ll want to go further along the same path. You’ll stop at nothing and will outshine the narcissist.
This is something a narcissist will never tolerate or feel happy about. They’ll try their best to bring you down and discredit you.
6. They display sadistic tendencies
Being sadistic is an integral part of a narcissistic personality. This means they’ll derive enjoyment from your suffering.
When a narcissist sees you looking good and feeling happy, they will become very jealous, discontent, and unhappy. This prompts them to pull you down with their dirty tricks. Ultimately, when they cause your downfall, they are happy. They feel good. That is a sadist for you.
Often the behavior of a narcissist will make you think of them as an evil person. Slotting a narcissist as a bad person may not be correct; it would be more correct to think of them as a broken person.
A narcissist sees the world around them through a damaged lens. This makes them do awful things that a normal person like you may consider evil. That doesn’t necessarily make the narcissist a monster. They are just sad and sick.
When a narcissist sees you looking good, they may sulk, start a fight, play mind games, or ghost you. If you haven’t yet fallen for the charms of the narcissist, they’ll use this occasion to get close to you and steal your thunder. If you’re resisting the advances of the narcissist, they’ll try to trigger the feeling of jealousy in you through various means available to them.
With some narcissists, you can expect miracles. They’ll use this opportunity to change and improve themselves. But there is no doubt that a narcissist does care about what is happening in your life though often their reaction veers towards the negative. They might not react well.
Having a toxic relationship with a narcissist can be taxing. You’re better off without them. You need to focus on narcissistic abuse recovery. If you’re finding it hard to shake them off, at least remind yourself to not sacrifice your values and happiness at the altar of the narcissist.
You deserve better.