Living with a narcissist is never easy. No matter what your relationship with them is. But it is harder for the life partner.
One of the most difficult aspects of living with a narcissist is their ability to deceive and manipulate you. When you are not even aware of how you are being controlled by the narcissist, it becomes impossible for you to take any action.
However, spending a few years with a narcissist should open your eyes to their manipulative ways. As soon as you suspect that your partner is suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder, you may start looking for a way out of the relationship.
Unfortunately, escaping from the clutches of a narcissist is again no easy matter. When a narcissist realizes you refuse to be controlled, they will bring all their manipulating tactics to keep you shackled. Often they resort to abuse and threats to stop you from leaving them. You may feel scared to let on that you have figured them out and you are done with them.
If you are wondering how they will react when the narcissist realizes you are done, you have come to the right place. This article explores the topic of narcissistic abuse and how you can handle a narcissist. Here you will find strategies you can follow to deal with a narcissist and escape from them.
What happens when a narcissist realizes you are no longer interested?
Understandably, you are concerned about their reaction when you pull away from a narcissist. Even without this, you were walking on eggshells. You need to plan your path ahead before they get wise to your next move. You don’t want the narcissist to know beforehand that you don’t care about the narcissist anymore.
Understanding more about narcissistic personality disorder and the behavioral traits of a narcissist will help you find a safe escape path for yourself. Here are some obvious reactions when the narcissist realizes you are done. Winning you back and keeping you under control are the sole objectives of the narcissist.
1. They develop a trauma bond with you
When they realize you don’t care about the narcissist anymore and you are wise to their devious ways, they know that their usual tactics of narcissistic abuse won’t work anymore. When they realize that they have lost their grip over you, their next step would be to create a trauma bond with you.
A trauma bond involves abusive and manipulative ways of bonding in which you will be left powerless to fight back or stand your ground. The narcissist will use every dirty trick in their kitty to drain you emotionally and mentally and not let you go.
2. They raise the bar of narcissistic abuse
Even when the narcissist realizes you have figured them out, they will not let it on to you. They will continue to behave as if nothing is wrong. However, you will know about this when the narcissist turns up the heat on you.
The narcissist will falsely accuse you of something you know nothing about. They will misquote your words and misinterpret your intentions. Unfortunately, the narcissist is so convincing in their accusations that you will believe them to be true though it is against you and your best interests.
If their narcissistic behavior is out in the open and can be seen and understood easily, it would be much easier for you. However, if you are dealing with a covert narcissist, things are bound to get more complicated. They won’t show their true face to the world. They will act like a saint and combine it with passive-aggressive behavior. This can easily win over people.
3. They project your emotions
It’s fairly common for a narcissist to manipulate your emotions to regain control over you. From painting you as the villain to portraying themselves as the victim, a narcissist will have a wide range of gimmicks to make you sympathize with them, thereby keeping you under their control.
The narcissist will relentlessly work on you until you feel compelled to give in and even apologize for a mistake you didn’t commit. They will persist with this and will not give up.
You may have to take responsibility for the inaction of the narcissist. They will make you forget about the pain they have caused you in the past. Despite all these, if you manage to gather enough courage to leave them, the narcissist will make it incredibly painful, difficult, and challenging for you.
What should you do when a narcissist realized you are done?
Once the narcissist gets wise to you, you need to be cautious of every step you take. A wrong move and you will find yourself back to square one. While planning your exit plan, you should stay alert to their abusive and manipulative behavior. They will try their best to get you entangled in their web of deceit and deception.
Here are a few suggestions to keep the narcissist under control.
- Avoid paying too much attention to them.
- Set clear boundaries and enforce them.
- Approach your support system for help.
- If nothing else is working, don’t hesitate to get professional help.
How will the narcissist react when you decide to walk away?
Until you don’t confront the narcissist openly, they will continue to act as if nothing has changed. But when you confront the narcissist openly, there are only two options left for the narcissist to do. Either the narcissist will try to wrestle back their power over you or raise the level of the narcissistic abuse.
You may find yourself relenting and succumbing to their pressure tactics if you are not strong enough to stand firmly on your stand to leave them. Having a good support system will help you withstand the power exerted by the narcissist.
When the narcissist realizes that you are not ready to give in easily, they will up the ante with narcissistic abuse. They will use it as a method of punishment to bring you under their control. The narcissist may genuinely think that they are justified in acting this way and you deserve to be taught a lesson.
The narcissist’s behavior may come out as diverse forms of narcissistic abuse like gaslighting, withholding, and baiting. This may make you worry whether you can ever leave the narcissist for good.
Turning the tables on a narcissist
Now that both your secrets are out in the open, you will find going ahead difficult. But as long as you stay undeterred on your goal of leaving the narcissist, you can figure out a way to escape from the relationship. These tips may help you with this.
- Stop giving any more chances to the narcissist.
- Prepare your exit strategy well in advance. Make sure that it is foolproof.
- Move your things to a safer location before you reveal your intention to leave them for good.
- Convince yourself not to fall for their flattery and devious tactics.
- Take help from your support system.
Once you have set the stage for your exit, walk out with confidence. You can tell the narcissist about it after leaving from a safe distance.
Bottom line
Caution is the keyword if you are wise to the ways of a narcissist. Because they will stop at nothing to retain their narcissistic supply, that is you, with them.
Though you may feel it wrong to walk away without telling them about it, don’t worry, the narcissist doesn’t have such tender feelings. But the narcissist won’t tolerate losing control over you. They may come up with anything to prevent you.
In most cases, it’s the support system that will make the difference for the narcissistic victim.