5 Reasons Why a Man Would Hide His Relationship

5 Reasons Why a Man Would Hide His Relationship

why would a man hide his relationship

When you fall in love, you naturally want to shout it from the rooftops. You want to share your happiness with the people you love and care about.

You feel proud to tell everyone what a special person your partner is. Sometimes you will be so excited about it that you find it hard to stop.

Can you believe that some men don’t want others to know that they are in a relationship or don’t want others to know about their partner? In fact, they try their best to hide this fact from the world. 

This will make you wonder – why would a man hide his girlfriend? 

If you look deeply, it’s not hard to find the reasons for such behavior. But, rest assured, when a man hides you, none of them are desirable. 

This article attempts to list the most prominent reasons for a man to hide his relationship. Once you know the reason why he’s hiding relationship from the world, you would know how to react and what to do about it.

Why would a guy hide his girlfriend?

When your boyfriend is unwilling to disclose your relationship to others or introduce you as his girlfriend, you may feel disheartened. No one will blame you for this because this is not normal or the right behavior. 

If he hides you on social media as well, you know the problem is genuine and serious. Here are a few reasons for a man keeping a relationship secret.

1. He is uncertain about how he feels about you

This is one of the most common reasons for a man to hide his relationship. For all practical purposes, he will act genuinely interested in you, but he may be still assessing you and your suitability. Maybe what he has already seen of you doesn’t give him much confidence. He is yet to make up his mind about continuing in the relationship with you.

Even if he doesn’t feel encouraged by your behavior to date, he wants to give you more time to see if you will manage to convince him and win his heart. He is happy with maintaining the status quo in the relationship until he is ready to make a decision. 

Maybe he never agreed to an exclusive relationship with you. He wants more time to be certain about you and the relationship. 

2. He considers you part of his “harem”

There are more words in the modern lingo to describe this act – “benching” and “pocketing”. 

Benching is a term derived from the sports world. It typically refers to someone on standby. The guy is keeping you on the bench and connects with you whenever he wants to. When he loses interest in you, he will again “bench” you. 

He may have a harem of women with whom he hooks up occasionally. He isn’t exclusive with any of them, though he may give them the impression that he is. Whenever he feels the need for you, he will take you off the bench, only to return you to the bench when done with you.

Pocketing is quite similar to benching. But it may or may not involve other women. He wants to be in a relationship with you to enjoy the perks but isn’t yet ready to commit. In other words, he wants your commitment but is not willing to give it himself. 

The term “pocketing” is derived from our action of keeping something in our pocket. He is also doing the same with you – keeping you in his pocket, which means on standby, and retrieving you when he wants you. When a guy is pocketing you, he won’t be with you 100% all the time. 

3. He lies about how he feels

Or at best, he is not honest about his feelings with you. He may pretend to be happy and in love with you. He may make you believe that he cares much for you. But actually, he doesn’t. 

He doesn’t reveal his relationship to others or not introduce you as his girlfriend because he doesn’t consider you long-term girlfriend material. He doesn’t believe that you are good enough to be his long-term or permanent partner. He is still searching for the One. you are just a stopgap arrangement. So, naturally, he doesn’t want to advertise your presence in his life.

If this is the case, you may find this very disturbing. All the while, he has been reassuring you of his love and commitment, when, in reality, he thinks of you as a stand-in until he finds the partner of his choice.

4. He is a serial cheater or addicted to sex

He may not believe in monogamy and thinks that one woman cannot satisfy his needs. He considers cheating the only option for him. Often revealing his relationship status may create trouble for him to get other women. So, he is cautious about revealing his relationship status to the world or presenting you as his girlfriend. 

On top of this, if he is a sex addict, things can get quite tricky for you. It’s mostly childhood abuse and trauma that makes a person a sex addict. When a child is denied emotional support, as an adult they will continue searching for emotional fulfillment in everyone they meet. This will be more pronounced in their relationships with women. 

When they fail to get emotional satisfaction from anyone, this urge will keep growing and reach such mammoth proportions that he is forever pursuing the myth of a perfect partner. He is looking for that perfect “hit” to fix his needs.

Such men cannot be in a monogamous relationship for long. Even if he sincerely wants to, he feels compelled to cheat.

5. He is in a sporadic relationship with another woman

He may be juggling relationships with two or more women at the same time. This will force the man to hide his relationship. When he wants to be with another woman, he benches or pockets you. He does the same thing with the other women when he wants to be with you.

He may be doing this deliberately or circumstances drove him to this corner. Maybe he was already in a not-so-great relationship but not quite sure about ending it. He may not want to lie to you or cheat on you. But he saw you as a backup plan if and when his other relationship collapses. 

But from your perspective, this is not a desirable situation to be in. You didn’t agree to this relationship to be his fallback option or insurance against failure. You cannot trust a man that hides you. If this is the case, you need to give him the ultimatum without losing a single second. “Make up your mind or get out!”

Some more reasons for a man to hide his relationship

When a guy never mentions his girlfriend, there has to be a reason, even if it doesn’t make sense to you.

  1. He is ashamed or not proud of you.
  2. He has broken up with someone else temporarily and isn’t sure about it.
  3. He is still checking you out to see whether you’re suitable for him.
  4. He is expecting you to show him the door anytime.
  5. He thinks that his family and friends won’t approve of you.
  6. He is afraid of commitment due to past experiences.
  7. He is emotionally unavailable because of his avoidant attachment style.
  8. He wants others to flirt with you and he is turned on by this.

Why would a man hide his relationship?

Your man hiding relationship status is not acceptable, no matter what his reasons may be. As you can see above, none of the reasons listed here for hiding relationship are genuine, valid, or good enough. If he isn’t sure about you or your relationship, the decent thing for him to do is to tell you frankly, apologize, and end the relationship.

As long as he doesn’t initiate this step and continues to fake the relationship with you, he is doing a disservice to you. As soon as you realize that he is hiding relationship, walk out without hesitation. The lack of communication is a good enough reason for you to make this decision.

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