How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone Through Text?

How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone Through Text?

How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone Through Text

Have you ever been friend-zoned? It’s a term from human and relationship psychology that describes the relationship status of an individual. People also call it the “buddy zone” or “non-romantic zone”. This is how the relationship between two individuals who aren’t romantically involved is described.

Typically, only one person ends up in the friend zone. That person might wish to move out of that situation and get romantically involved. If you’ve ever been friend-zoned, you might probably be aware of this situation.

Extricating yourself out of a friend zone isn’t always easy, especially when it comes to texting. Here are a few suggestions that might help you get out of the friend zone:

Be Honest: When you entertain feelings for this person, it’s best to be open about it. You should tell them about your feelings for them but also understand and respect how they feel.

Respect Boundaries: In case they don’t want to romance you, respect their choice. It’s important to honor their boundaries.

Take it Easy: Don’t rush things. Allow the relationship to grow organically over time. Pushing for romance might not be the best move.

Reveal Your Best Side: Be nice, caring, and thoughtful in the texts you send them. Show them you can strive to be their best friend and an awesome partner too.

Give Space: When they want time to figure things out, afford them space. Respect their need for some breathing room to sort out their feelings.

How can you avoid being in a friend zone?

Okay, so here’s the deal. I’ve got to be straight with you, even if it’s not what you want to hear. Sure, I can give you tips on the dos and don’ts of texting, but if you’re not capable of being your own person, no magical text can fix that.

See, tweaking your messages won’t solve the situation you’ve got going on in real life. There’s no quick online solution for an offline issue.

Step one? Figure out why you landed in the friend zone in the first place.

Reasons for being friend-zoned

Hey, here’s the scoop you might not be thrilled about. The only shot you have with her is if her current relationship hits the rocks. In that case, you might be a temporary fix until she finds someone who really lights her fire.

Just being a good friend won’t cut it or fill the void. Being friend-zoned is quite common—we’ve all been there. It’s part of the game. So, the key is figuring out how you landed in the friend zone to begin with, so that you can make your great escape.

#1 You show too much appreciation

Instead of always giving compliments, try throwing in a bit of friendly teasing in your texts. The idea is to keep things playful so that the person you’re interested in feels the need to seek your approval, like a kid looking for attention. The idea is to make them crave and needy for you. We’re not big fans of mind games, but if you’re crushing on a guy, let him take the lead in texting sometimes. It adds a bit of excitement for him.

There’s something about the thrill of the chase that many guys seem to enjoy deep down. And, offering too many compliments will take this away.

#2 You are always the one initiating the conversation

Instead, try calling or texting them fewer times a week. If they’re interested in chatting more frequently, they’ll reach out to you.

Create circumstances for them to text you first and initiate the conversation at least half the time. Many people, regardless of gender, aren’t usually into someone who’s constantly pursuing them.

It’s important to let them take the lead and pursue you a bit. Remember, you don’t have to settle for being friend-zoned—you can avoid it.

#3 You are failing to capitalize on the hero instinct

James Bauer, the relationship guru, came up with this interesting idea that sheds light on how guys see and experience relationships. It’s a concept that often flies under the radar for many women. 

Bauer’s take is that men aren’t too complicated when it comes to what makes them happy in a relationship. All you need to do is make them feel like your hero.

“You are my dear friend”

You’ve been a great pal, a helpful classmate, or a cool colleague. But, you’ve never really shown your interest to be their potential boyfriend or girlfriend. So, it’s no wonder your crush hasn’t caught on to your romantic feelings. That’s a bit of a snag because dropping the L-bomb out of the blue isn’t the best strategy.

Then, there’s the infamous text that tells you that you’re friend-zoned. It might hit you straight up, like, “You’re an awesome friend, but more like a brother.” Or it could be sneakier, with delayed responses to texts and a sudden aversion to dates and calls.

It is this phase where most people become concerned and ask questions about how to get out of the friend zone through texts. The first step? Figure out why she sees you the way she does. Let’s crack that code!

Why is she treating you as a friend?

Some qualities catch the attention of women, like courage, confidence, assertiveness, and sexuality. It’s important for women to feel these qualities in men. Trying to become romantically involved by just being a friend usually doesn’t work.

Maybe you were interested in her, but you didn’t let those feelings develop. Perhaps you hesitated to show your more romantic side when you were around her, and she never considered you as a romantic partner.

Another mistake in texting is bringing up the topic of other friends in the conversation. Instead, maintain the focus on you and your crush. The same goes when you’re hanging out together – if you usually meet at a gathering, consider suggesting an activity just for you both. They’ll likely catch on if they’re interested.

How can you stay out of the friend zone through texting?

Having relationships with others is a huge part of being human. Sometimes, we don’t appreciate them enough. Do you genuinely like hanging out with your crush? Can you still enjoy their company even if it stays platonic forever? It’s important to be true to yourself and this person you’re interested in.

Let’s steer clear of secret agreements and unsaid hopes in friendships. Both of you deserve more honesty rather than hiding your feelings.

1. Hold on to your calls and texts till she makes her interest clear

She might take a bit to reply and may not be fully into the conversation. If you feel that, it’s cool to give her space. If her replies are short and she’s not really chatting or asking about you, maybe it’s a sign to ease off on texting.

If she’s not showing the interest you’re looking for, it might be best to move on. Why spend time on someone who’s not into texting you back?

2. Let them know your feelings

Attempting to escape a friend zone comes with risks, and there’s a chance of losing the friendship of this person as well. Only take this step if you’re comfortable with that possibility. Be upfront about your feelings—don’t keep your emotions hidden. If you have feelings for someone, let them know; honesty is key.

3. Open up your mind to other options

Here’s a reality check: finding a perfect soulmate isn’t a one-size-fits-all deal. Breaking up and forming new relationships are part of life’s journey. People appear and disappear all the time in your life.

It’s natural to make comparisons, but it’s crucial not to get stuck in history. Try to be more sociable and stay open to making new relationships.

When your friend who put you in the friend zone sees you hanging out with someone fantastic and thinks, ‘Oops, how did I let them go?’ The prospects are unlimited.

4. Work on your humor sense

Want to escape being friend-zoned? Humor is your secret weapon. Crack some jokes to shake things up and show them a different side of yours.

Keep your texts light and easy. If you’re unsure whether your crush will catch your joke, hold off. It’s not worth the risk of unintentionally offending them. Stay cool, and you’ll steer clear of the friend zone. The trick is not to stress out too much.

5. Flirt more in your interactions

According to Wikihow, flirty behavior is a great way to steer clear of the friend zone. Instead of using friend-like language, flirt more by expressing your desires more boldly. The desire language is flirtier, so switch up your texting tone.

When texting your crush, let them know how differently you consider them – as someone you could have a romantic relationship with. Don’t hesitate to be a bit more daring, like holding hands or standing close to them. 

However, be ready for the truth that your crush might not consider you in a romantic way. If that’s the case, it’s time to rethink your future together, admit defeat, and move forward.

Think of the worst outcome to prepare yourself. What if your crush laughs at your text messages or shows them to everyone? Will you hide away from the crowd and despair or want to shake off the feeling? Once you’re mentally prepared, be direct and invite her to go out with you.

Keep in mind that success isn’t guaranteed, especially if the girl you’re interested in is feeling insecure or thinks you’re not good enough for her. Make sure she understands your signals by being clear about your intentions.

6. Stop hiding your feelings for her

Keeping your feelings hidden won’t get you where you want to be. You’ve probably amped up the friendship vibe, hoping they’ll suddenly see you differently. You’ve been the ever-reliable friend, the one who’s there through thick and thin. But guess what? That might just steer you straight into that friend zone you’re trying to dodge.

To dodge the friend zone, you’ve got to step up. Let them know where you stand. If you’re into them romantically, don’t dance around it. It’s a sign for you to take a leap, not wait around.

Say it outright—let them know your interest. Ask them to go on a date with you or make a move if the time feels right. Here are a few things you could say:

“I value our friendship a lot, but I’ve wondered if we could be more than just friends.”

“We are so similar. Ever thought about us being more than friends?”

“I’ve started feeling something more towards you, and I’m curious where it could lead.”

But before diving in, understand what they want in their partner. Do you fit their idea of a great match?

7. Keep cool and be honest

Getting out of a friend zone is a process that takes time, so be patient. The key is to always be true to yourself. Trying to make this person enjoy your company or develop romantic feelings for you by putting in too much effort can actually lead to issues between the two of you. Just keep it real and stay true to who you are.

8. Don’t shy away from talking about your relationships

Feel free to chat about your romantic side in your texts with your crush. Just don’t spill the beans about specific dates or feelings developing in your heart for someone else who went on a date with you. That might not exactly boost your chances of getting asked out. But being open about your relationships and love life in a general way? Totally cool.

9. Use text to ask them on a date

If you’re stuck in a friend zone, it might be because you’re playing it safe and not making your feelings clear. Your crush might see you just as a friend because you haven’t shown what kind of connection you’re looking for.

Take a direct approach and invite them on a date to break out of the friend zone or steer clear of it from the start. Plan a fun activity like picnics or bike rides. Be brave and ask them to go out with you, and throw in a bit of flirting to show you would like more than just friendship. Keep in mind, though, that this strategy only works if your crush has similar feelings. If they’re not into it, respect their feelings and forget the whole episode.

Can you break up the friend zone?

Do you fancy the idea of being stuck in the friend zone, where your crush only considers you a buddy? It can be a bit disheartening, but here’s the silver lining – many lasting relationships kick off with a good friendship. It’s common for people to upgrade their “friend” to the position of “lover”.

If you’re itching to escape a friend zone, it’s essential to act swiftly. Love Panky wisely notes, “The longer you’re in a friend zone with a person, the harder it is to escape from it.” Taking a break from your friendship might be necessary, especially with those romantic feelings dominating your thoughts.

However, staying pals with someone you’re head over heels for might become a real challenge, both for you and possibly for them. And whatever you do, don’t profess to be someone’s friend just to get closer romantically – that’s a recipe for disaster. As Habib F, a Quora user, wisely puts it, people are already aware of their likes, and forcing a friendship won’t change that.

So, what’s your next move? Consider seeking advice tailored to your specific situation. A chat with a relationship coach could provide valuable insights into your particular case.


Chillin' in the friend zone isn't a downgrade—it's more like a VIP pass to a different level of closeness. Romantic stuff can be a rollercoaster, you know? So, being in a friend zone means your vibe is appreciated, and they want you around for the long haul.


Just keep that in mind, even if you're secretly hoping for something more. It's cool to want different things, but appreciating the friendship can make the ride smoother.

Imagine the traits you admire in your romantic partner. Do they adore cats or dogs? Are they loving, caring, and considerate? Maybe they're good at Scrabble? Rather than waiting for someone to have these traits, work on embodying them yourself. It's not about fitting into someone else's "league."


Research suggests that spending quality time in the human company can raise your appeal, but it's crucial to have the qualities they value. So, focus on developing those traits—it could make you look more attractive to the right person!

It's cool if this person sees you only as a good friend. If it turns out you aren't meant for each other, that's alright. Consider this as a signal to explore other possibilities. Don't lose hope because there are plenty of folks out there who'd be interested in dating you.


Just remember, having awesome friendships is important too. Sometimes, it's okay, and maybe even better, to appreciate what we have without pushing for a relationship.

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