We are all human beings and we have our differences. Sometimes, this reaches a flashpoint and we have arguments and fights. All that is needed after a conflict is an apology.
However, there are times when our ego gains the upper hand and prevents us from accepting our mistakes and apologizing.
If you had this experience with a friend and instead of apologizing, your friend blocked you on social media, you may feel confused and lost. Isn’t your friend aggravating the situation by blocking you? Should you take the initiative to set things right in the relationship? What you should and should not do in such circumstances?
In this article, we have answers to these questions and will help you figure this out for yourself. Read on to learn how you can resolve this situation amicably.
What do they mean by blocking you?
We often hear about people blocking others on social media platforms. What does it mean and what is their intention? In other words, what do they plan to achieve by blocking you?
The answers to these questions depend on how long you have known this person and what kind of relationship you share. Also, guys and girls block others for diverse reasons.
Friendship is a strange relationship that involves lots of give and take. Disagreements and conflicts may appear in a friendship at any time, especially if you have known the person for a very short time. Clearly, you haven’t yet understood all aspects of each other and this may lead to differences.
The same can happen in an older friendship as well. In such cases, the expectations from each other are high and this can lead to disappointments. Again, there are times when a person is not completely in charge of their senses and not thinking straight. Something said in the heat of the moment can create a rift in a friendship.
Blocking a friend is a tactic some may use to express their disappointment or anger. With this act, they are saying that they are no longer interested in a friendship with you.
Blocking a friend is not something a level-headed and sane-thinking person might resort to, even if they are extremely angry at you. They will try to resolve the differences through conversations. Blocking is too immature and childish reaction in adults.
Though you don’t have control when someone blocks you, you have absolute control over how you react to being blocked. The ideal reaction would be to keep calm and deal with it maturely. No tantrums, no screaming accusations, no drama.
If you retaliate in the same way, it’s your friendship that will suffer. If you want your friendship to recover from this trauma, you need to make the effort. Instead of insisting on an apology, you can try to initiate a conversation with this friend and try to understand what made them take this extreme step.
When someone blocks you, they are trying to run away from the problem rather than face it head-on and resolve it. When a friend blocks you without talking to you first or explaining, it can be hard on you.
As a first step, you need to figure out why this person blocked you. The reasons may vary depending on whether this friend is a guy or a girl.
Why do girls block their friends?
Girls typically use this strategy when they find themselves in helpless situations. This is a way for her to assert her control. She may also block others to keep them at bay or if she feels she’s being taken for granted.
To regain her upper hand
As your friendship progresses, she may feel that she’s being pushed into something she’s not interested in despite her resistance. She may not know how to convey her displeasure at being compelled to go against her wishes. By blocking the person, she is trying to send a clear yet subtle message.
In a way, this is justifiable. She has every right to decide what she wants to do in life. No one can coerce her into doing things she doesn’t want to. But she could have conveyed her feelings through open conversations rather than resort to such covert tactics.
The “friend” sounded creepy
When she meets you and decides to become friends, you may not know each other well. As you got to know each other better, she may have stumbled upon the creepy and undesirable side of your personality. Naturally, she doesn’t want to continue the friendship anymore.
But she is hesitant to reveal this to you. Maybe she is scared of your reaction or she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. When someone blocks you, she’s sending a message to you that she doesn’t want to be friends anymore.
You are too controlling
Any relationship, including friendship, is all about give and take. You need to adjust your likes and dislikes to suit your friend’s. However, human beings and thereby, their relationships are never perfect. In a flawed relationship, one of them will have the upper hand. They expect their partner to follow and obey.
In this instance, you must be so controlling that you refuse to pay heed to her likes or give her space. She may have raised this topic before, but you must have brushed it aside. Blocking was her last resort to assert her freedom and individuality.
Why do guys block others?
Men are inherently assertive. If you pose a challenge to his power, he may feel threatened. Also, if you act needy and clingy, he may not like it. Another reason for his disinterest in you may be because of the demands you make on him.
You’re too clingy and crazy
Your boyfriend may feel that you are asking too much from him. You call or text him at all hours. You want him to come running whenever you beckon him. Or worse, you show up at his place unannounced at odd times without notice.
He can see your desperation to be with him. He no longer feels at ease with you as you keep piling up pressure on him. The more he does for you and tries to satisfy you, the more demands you make. You can’t fault him for thinking enough is enough.
He’s hiking up his demand
Your boyfriend enjoys all the attention you give him and he wants to be pursued by you. Even if you are giving him all your attention, he may not feel satisfied with it. When someone blocks you, he’s artificially creating more demand for himself in your mind.
In short, he likes to be chased by you and wants you to pursue him. This is ultimately a struggle to decide on the power balance in the relationship.
In relationships and friendships, arguments and fights are not uncommon. Maybe you were stubborn and refused to toe his line this time. He felt angry and upset. This will make him search for ways to express his anger. What better way to show his displeasure than by blocking you on social media?
Is blocking someone bad or toxic?
The act of blocking someone itself is not toxic but if it is done to take revenge on the other person, it is not good for the relationship. The ideal way to resolve disagreements is to have open conversations.
Communication is considered the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. It’s normal to have differences and even have conflicts. But in a healthy relationship, these will be resolved through talks without allowing the situation to get out of hand. It’s important for both parties to understand the other person’s perspective.
Without such discussions and sharing of views, if your friend blocks you, you will naturally feel let down. Even if your friend is not taking the initiative to talk, you can take the lead. Saying hurtful things and blocking on social media can create deep wounds in the minds. So, if you want to continue in the relationship, it’s better to find a way to do things without hurting your friend.
Is it alright to reach out when a friend blocks you?
Irrespective of the kind of relationship, when a person blocks you on social media, you need to understand that it was done deliberately to send you a message. So, reaching out to them may not be productive from your perspective. Even if you manage to repair the relationship by reaching out, it will be flawed and skewed against you.
Unfortunately, this is the time for you to wait patiently despite your heart asking you to make amends with your friend. Since they initiated the action, it’s for them to take it back as well. By blocking you, they have clearly indicated how they feel about you and don’t want to be in touch with you.
If your friend’s action is unfair and one-sided and you were blocked without even giving you a chance to explain or state your case, such friendship is not worth compromising or fighting for.
If a friend blocked you on social media because of some misunderstanding, give them enough time to cool down. They will come back to you when they realize their mistake. On your part, you should wait for this to happen patiently.
However, if you feel you have offended them in some way that triggered them to block you, you can use the opportunity to apologize for your actions or words.
What can you do when a friend blocks you on social media?
In case you did something wrong and your boyfriend blocked you in retaliation, then the right thing to do is to apologize to your friend. However, if your friend blocked you without you doing anything wrong, it is waiting time for you.
Here are some do’s and don’ts for you to follow if your friend blocked you without provocation.
What you should do
Initiate steps to get in touch with the person
When things go south in a relationship, ego is the main barrier that prevents both parties from getting back together. Both will think – you first. Such a stalemate will not help. On your part, you can take the first steps towards reconciliation. You may be still feeling aggrieved and would want an apology for the way you were treated. But unless someone takes the first step, this will not be a reality.
Recognize when to give up
Even if you were wronged and still took the first step to reconcile the differences, things may not work out the way you want to. For the sake of friendship, you can only relent so much. The effort has to come from both for the friendship to be healthy. If you feel that this is not possible, it’s time for you to move on. It’s important to be with people who love and respect you for who you are.
What you shouldn’t do
Badmouthing your friend
It’s easy to feel angry and hit out against this person who blocked you even though you did them no harm. Now, social media offers you a wider platform to berate someone publically. But before you go out and do this, you need to remember that this will damage your friendship permanently. You are venturing on a one-way road; there’s no turning back. Moreover, this may also damage your reputation as others may think of you as a backstabber.
Creating a scene
If this person blocked you and has been avoiding you, you can always corner them at their residence or their place of work. If you confront them in public and start an argument with them, you have no idea where it will lead to. You may end up saying things you don’t want to. This can only worsen the situation and will not help you in any way.
Social media stalking
The easy access to the internet and its anonymity are perfect tools for misuse in the hands of a pervert. You can easily follow the activities of this friend online to see what they are up to. If you were in a relationship, you may want to know if this person left you for someone else. However, you also need to remind yourself that this is a waste of time. You achieve nothing with this but waste away your own precious time.
The Bottom Line
We often find ourselves in unhealthy relationships because they appear to be the norm at the time. It’s essential to take a moment to reflect on why we haven’t identified this recurring pattern in our lives and why we haven’t asserted ourselves.
Most of us tend to overlook warning signs in relationships because we hope things will improve, believing that the other person will change for the better. Frequently, we tolerate toxic relationships because, at the moment, they seem like the standard. So, it’s crucial to ask ourselves, “Why haven’t I recognized this recurring theme in my life? Why haven’t I started advocating for myself and addressing these patterns?”
While we may have learned valuable lessons from these experiences, it’s now time to stand up for ourselves.