Dealing with dry texts is often a bit confusing and frustrating. It’s like, “What’s going on here?” You are likely to feel a bit annoyed, thinking, “Why aren’t we having a more meaningful conversation?” You might even wonder if you did something to upset the other person.
No matter what’s happening, it’s key to handle dry texts the right way. You may want to figure out what’s up, but you don’t want to spend more time and effort than needed. Let’s dive into things that you should keep in mind.
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What is the best reply to a dry text?
Engaging in a text conversation can be a bit puzzling when you start getting short one-word replies, unpredictable responses, or even total silence. But don’t worry, there are various reasons why this might be happening.
Before we explore those reasons, here are a few helpful tips on how to handle such situations and keep the conversation going:
1. Ask specific and pertinent questions
What do you enjoy doing in your free time? How was your day? What were today’s highlights? What type of music puts a smile on your face?
One-word replies like “ok”, “lol”, or “haha” won’t quite cover these questions! If someone seems like they’re not saying much because they’re shy or anxious, asking these kinds of questions that draw them out of their shell and force them to give you longer replies might help them feel more comfortable and share more.
2. Take the flirty approach
I’m really thinking about you a lot at the moment, and I miss our time together. It would be nice to have you here with me tonight.
Sending a flirty message is a fun way to let someone know you’re inclined to chat. If they’re interested in you, they’ll likely reply with excitement. On the other hand, if they don’t, it might be an indication that they’re not as into you as you thought they are. In that case, it could be a good time to consider moving on.
3. Stick to topics of their interest
In addition to asking penetrating questions, it’s a good idea to chat about subjects that really matter to the person you are trying to connect with. What interests them the most? What’s something they could talk about endlessly?
Of course, the conversation shouldn’t be all about one person. You should share your thoughts too! However, if the person you are having a conversation with seems a bit uneasy, sticking to topics that they are at ease discussing can help ease the tension.
4. Ask if everything is okay
If you notice a sudden change in someone’s texting habits, especially if you’re usually close, it’s considerate to ask if everything is okay. This demonstrates your awareness of their emotions and your genuine concern for their well-being.
You might try something like, “I’ve noticed you being a bit distant and distracted. Is everything alright?” Alternatively, you could express, “I’m sure this was not intentional, but it feels like there’s a bit of distance between us. Is something the matter?”
If they value your relationship, they’re likely to provide a sincere explanation for the shift. However, if they become evasive or dismissive, it might be a signal to pay attention and address potential concerns.
5. Recollect a happy experience or memory
To spark a more engaging chat, bring up a shared memory or something unique about your connection.
For instance, you could say something like, “You wouldn’t believe who I bumped into today. I met (mutual friend) today. They were asking about you. Do you recall that exciting trip we all had together? Those moments are always the best. Miss having those times with you!”
6. Try to connect with them in person or over the phone
Choosing another way of communicating is a great approach to dealing with dry texting. Perhaps they’re feeling a bit bored of typing and sending text messages, or your text conversations have become too routine.
If they’re excited about the idea of spending some time with you or talking over the phone, probably they are just looking for a change. On the other hand, if they come up with excuses or decline your suggestion, there might be something else going on.
7. Appreciate them
Was just thinking about you—you’re truly amazing!
You bring so much joy, and I want to let you know. Seriously, you’re incredibly beautiful and smart, and I feel like the luckiest person alive.
When you are unsure of where you stand with a person, you can strengthen your connection with genuine compliments. If, even after a sincere compliment, they continue with dry texts as replies, it might be a sign that they’re unlikely to change their texting style. How you would like to proceed is entirely your choice.
Is responding to a dry texter necessary?
You should figure out your reply based on the context. If it’s someone important to you like a partner or close friend, having an honest talk about the circumstances is crucial.
In most situations, expressing how you feel to those you care about is essential to avoid letting any frustration build up.
However, if it’s someone you recently met and you’re still getting to know them, and they consistently text back with dry texts, it might be wise to rethink things. New relationships are usually full of excitement, so if you’re facing constant resistance early on, it could signal that things might not be as genuine as they seem.
Should you reply with dry texts?
While it might be tempting, try not to reply with dry texts yourself. Reacting this way usually just keeps the cycle going and can come off as immature, indicating that you’ll treat others shabbily if they do the same to you.
Instead, strive to be more mature in the situation. Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. Even if you’re feeling frustrated, taking the high road will ultimately leave you feeling better at the end of the day.
Reasons why someone sends a dry text message
People might have different reasons for sending dry texts, and they may not mean any harm with that. The key question is: is this a one-off thing, or does it keep happening?
If it’s a pattern, it probably connects to either your relationship or their personality, and it’s unlikely to shift unless they want to make a change themselves.
1. Pay attention to your real-life conversations
Do they chat a lot when you’re together in person? Do you sense a connection and have meaningful talks? If face-to-face interactions are lively, that’s a good sign. They might just not be comfortable with texting or prefer other ways of communicating.
However, if you haven’t met face-to-face, or if they’re reserved and distant in person, their dry texting style might be reflective of their overall communication style. In simple terms, they might not give much attention regardless of the mode of communication.
2. Check whether this is happening often or not
People might resort to dry texting when they’re feeling down, having a tough day, super busy, or dealing with some other stress. So, review your texting records. Is this a one-time thing, or is it a recurring pattern?
If it’s a regular occurrence, chances are it might not change. However, if you think it’s not tied to an internal problem, it’s okay to ask them directly.
3. The topic isn’t comfortable
People might send dry text messages because they are upset, anxious, or uncomfortable discussing a particular topic. It’s like their way of indirectly steering the conversation away from that subject.
Pay attention to whether their texting pattern changes when you switch topics. If they suddenly become more engaged or enthusiastic, it’s likely that their dry texting was related to that specific subject and not something about you.
4. They haven’t yet made up their mind
Some folks resort to dry texting when they’re exploring their options. They could be chatting with multiple people to figure out what they truly want.
Take a moment to think if you’re comfortable being part of this trial phase. It’s fine if you’re also exploring your options. However, if you’re seeking something more serious, you deserve a partner who can focus on you entirely.
5. They are no longer interested in you
The deal is pretty simple: no matter how you slice it, shooting off a text message, even a short one, is super easy. It usually takes barely a minute for that. Even with our crazy schedules, we somehow manage to find time for social media, coffee, TV, or just chilling.
So, if this person keeps hitting you with dry text messages, it likely means you’re not high up on their priority list. If they truly cared, they’d appreciate staying connected with you.
Should you treat dry texting as a wake-up call?
While dry texting isn’t necessarily a warning sign, it’s worth considering if it becomes problematic. Find the answers to these questions to figure out if it might be an issue:
- Am I consistently taking more initiative in our interactions?
- Does it seem as if this person communicates better with others than with me?
- Do I sense the unfamiliarity in our conversation?
- Do I often worry about annoying or upsetting this person?
- Am I always the one reaching out or checking in?
- Do I find our texting practice annoying?
If you find yourself saying yes to multiple questions, it may be an indication of dry texting creating trouble in your relationship. You have the choice to either maintain the status quo (and keep feeling frustrated) or consider improving the situation.
What can you do to get a dry texter to open up?
Texting that lacks enthusiasm doesn’t necessarily spell doom for your relationship, but it’s good to take a proactive approach when addressing the issue. Keep in mind that some folks may resort to dry texting when they’re feeling shy or nervous, so it’s helpful to show some faith in them and take it easy initially.
Here are a few steps for you to consider:
1. Keep your questions open-ended
You might not notice it, but you could unintentionally be a dry texter. Even if that’s not the case, the way you text might make it tough for others to share about themselves.
Try sending messages that are focused on the recipient. How was your day at work? How’s your mom doing after your morning together? Did you watch any movie and did you like it?
These kinds of open-ended questions offer them the space and opportunity to focus on themselves, which might prompt them to be more forthcoming in your conversations.
2. Take a step back
Consider whether you are coming on too strong in the text messages you’re sending them. Review your recent messages. Are you sending multiple texts in a row or writing long messages with lots of complex questions?
If you are, these actions might feel intrusive or overwhelming to the other person. Try to send fewer texts and see how it goes. This change could make the recipient more conscious of their role in the conversation.
3. Tell them how you feel
You can express your feelings by saying something like, “I’ve noticed that the texts I send are often lengthy, but I get minimal responses. It makes me feel a bit uneasy about our relationship. Are you aware of this?”
Pay attention to their response. If they are dismissive or defensive, it might indicate deeper issues. On the other hand, if they express regret and acknowledge their behavior, try to understand their perspective. They might not have realized or could have sensed a need to step back.
Ideally, a caring person will have respect for your feelings and be ready to work together to find a way out, even though they will not become as active in texting as you. The key is a willingness to make an effort to meet each other halfway.
The Bottom Line
If you are coming up against dry texts in your relationship, don’t brush it aside and wish it away. It’s foolish to hope that it will get better by itself. Dry texters may not change their ways unless addressed. Ignoring it could leave you feeling constantly frustrated.
Take a proactive approach by addressing the issue, expressing your wishes, and reassessing the relationship if necessary. You deserve a partner who is enthusiastic and engaged in conversations with you!