Relationships are the most wonderful part of our lives; something that makes our lives worthwhile. But these very same relationships, when they turn sour, can become the thorns in our flesh as well.
Whether we like it or not, we cannot escape from relationships in our societal setup. The day we are born, we are automatically linked to so many people in our lives. We make more relationships as we move along life’s path.
The question here is how do we manage all these often interconnected relationships? When the going is good, a relationship can give you so much. Unfortunately, the reverse is also true. When it turns bad, a relationship can be a source of immeasurable pain as well.
Some have mastered the balancing act. They know exactly the whats, whens, wheres, whys, and hows of a relationship. For the rest, it remains a mystery even after multiple failures. They never seem to get it right, though they try hard to make it work. In fact, they try so hard that it fails again.
As relationships are an unavoidable part of life, it is better that you learn how to manage one on a positive note. To do this, you need to have a good idea of who you are and where you want to be. You need to know yourself inside out. Moreover, you need to eliminate all forms of negativity from your mind space.
The best method to discover yourself and cleanse your mind is to start shadow work. Carl Jung defines a shadow as the confluence of all the unwanted and undesirable qualities you have and disown. In your endeavor to get them out of sight, you push them as far as possible into the back of your mind so that they end up in a dark corner of your subconscious.
These dark traits may not be evident to you or present in your awareness but from their shady corner, they will continue to influence your choices and decisions, making your life as miserable as ever. Unless you dig them out, face them squarely, accept them, and finally purge them from your mental space, these shadow traits will continue to haunt you.
Therapy is one way to achieve this. Or else, you can choose to do it on your own with a shadow work journal. If you are doing it solo, shadow journal prompts are your best bet to achieve success. Journal prompts can help you stay focused and achieve what you set out to do. With daily shadow work prompts, you can manage to weed out the undesirable elements in your mindset and develop the right attitude to form great relationships and repair the old ones.
In this article, you will find the most thoughtful shadow work journal prompts to help you become the person you want to be and build meaningful relationships with the people around you.
Shadow Work Journal Prompts for Relationships
- Some people in your life are nice and kind to you while some others are mean and nasty. There are even some who ignore you or are indifferent to what you are going through. Do you allow their behavior towards you to affect how you treat yourself?
- Do the people closest to you act as triggers? Are they good triggers or bad? How do they end up triggering you? Unintentionally or on purpose? When was the last time something like this happened? Write about it.
- Do you think you trigger others the same way others trigger you? Are you aware of this? Dig deeper into the mind. Maybe it is hidden in some dark recess. Probably it is part of your shadow self, a part of you that you have disowned. Write about an incident when you ended up triggering someone else, albeit unintentionally.
- Do you have an amicable relationship with your close family? Who are you closest to and who do you desperately try to avoid? Who can bring out the best in you and make you feel on top of the world? Who can make you go wild with anger? Explain why you feel and react this way.
- Has your relationship with your close family strengthened, fallen apart, or remained the same as you grew up? What do you think is the reason for it?
- Make a list of what you like and dislike the most about your partner. You need to remember that these are the same qualities you have but may not be aware of. Does your partner do anything to encourage these positive traits? Explain how.
- Who is the person you feel the closest to? Why is this person more special than others? What brought you two together?
- Do you have a hard time letting people go even if they aren’t deserving your love and care? List the people in your life to whom you would love to bestow your time, affection, and attention. Is there anyone on this list who has never returned your affection? Cross them out from the list.
- Are you happy with the various relationships you have in your life? If not, what are doing about it? If yes, how do you think you can improve them?
- Do you put up a front for the benefit of others? Why don’t you feel comfortable being in your own skin when you are in the company of others? What exactly are you afraid of or embarrassed about yourself?
- Is there anyone in your life with whom you feel comfortable being your authentic self? Do you love them or dislike them? How do they motivate you to be your true self?
- Is there anyone in your life around whom you feel the need to put on a mask to get along well? What parts of you are you ashamed about when you are with this person?
- Do you have negative or toxic traits? Are you aware of displaying negative behavior towards someone close to you? Did such an incident happen in the recent past? Do you regret your behavior? Give details.
- Do you let others exploit you in relationships? Do you find yourself in a vulnerable position? Have you tried to strengthen your position in the recent past?
- Do you think you are erecting a wall during discussions as a way to avoid difficult situations? Why do you do this? Describe the last time this happened.
- Who was the real-life hero in your childhood? Why did you consider this person special? Is this person still present in your life today? Do you feel the same way towards them?
- Do you find it easy to adapt to changes and a newer way of life? If not, what can you do to make things easier for yourself?
- Have you ever been outright mean towards anyone without reason? What happened? Describe the incident.
- What do you consider the worst traits of your parents? Give reasons for your opinion. How does such behavior affect you? Do you think you have the same trait?
- What is your strategy to preserve value and worth in your relationships? Do you think you are succeeding at this?
- Are you ready to spend some time and energy to bring a smile to another person? How do you think you can make this happen?
- Have you ever felt disillusioned or disappointed by a person you considered a hero? Explain what happened to shatter your faith in this person.
- Have you ever wished to be like someone else? Wished for the same qualities? Even after wishing for it, why, in your opinion, do you not possess these qualities?
- How often do you find yourself reviewing your words and actions by replaying the scene in your mind? What do you think you want to achieve with this? What typically is the trigger for this behavior?
- Are you aware of the values and beliefs held by your parents or guardians? How much did this influence you? Did you acquire any of them? Do you still possess them today? Have these values changed you in any way? What triggered the change?
- What do you consider your basic values? How would you define your moral values? What ideologies are you most passionate about?
- What makes you envious? Have you ever consciously felt the rising feeling of envy in yourself? What triggers it?
- How well do you get along with your siblings and parents? How good or bad are the relationships? Was it the same kind of bonding you enjoyed in your childhood? Explain why, if it has changed.
- Do you consider yourself deficient in certain attributes? Which areas of your behavior do you think you need to work on? Has this ever been pointed out to you before? Did you take it as a constructive suggestion?
- How would you like to rate your family and friends circle based on the care, affection, and support you receive? Are you happy about it? Is there anyone in your close circle who doesn’t offer the love and support you want and tries to pull you down? How do you handle this situation?
Bottom line
When dark thoughts and feelings are lurking in the background, relationships can never prosper. Happy and healthy relationships are possible only when you uproot and banish negative beliefs and attitudes. Armed with shadow work prompts, you can achieve success with shadow work exercises in no time.
Relationship prompts help you learn everything you need to know about your dysfunctional behavior and pinpoint where you are going wrong in the relationship. Through practical inner work and learning attachment theory, you can learn about secure attachment style and save yourself from the vicious cycle of bad relationships. This will help you do the course correction needed to set yourself on the right path to healthy relationships.
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