You break up with your partner when the two of you feel that your differences cannot be resolved. When your paths diverge and grow apart, you decide to part ways with each other.
This is how breakups happen. But when your ex decided to walk out of the relationship with you, why would they be leaving the door open? Are they not sure about ending the relationship? Or are they still in love with you despite the differences?
It’s not common to find an ex-partner leaving the door open. Usually, when a partner decides to end a relationship, it is after much thought. As far as they are concerned, it is final. They are not interested in getting back together. They would rather focus on healing from the trauma of the breakup and getting back to normal.
Such ex-partners would give out clear signs that their doors are shut for you. You can easily identify the signs of anger, frustration, dissatisfaction, and suffocation in your ex. You will also know from the way your ex treats you whether they have love and respect for you. These signs are easier to spot. If these are absent, then you should look for signs your ex is leaving the door open.
Sometimes, the perception of your ex may change after they have cooled down. Initially, they may have shut the doors in your face but after a change of mind, they may be leaving the door open for you.
This article focuses on exes who are leaving the door open. Here you will find signs that tell you that your ex is still attracted to you and wants you back.
Undeniable signs your ex is leaving the door open
An ex keeping the lines of communication open is not unheard of. Your ex secretly wants you back even though they walked out of the relationship in a huff. Though rare, if your ex is not displaying any negative signs, you may look for signs your ex is waiting for you to come back.
1. Your ex is uncertain and indecisive
Though it is hard to generalize, it can be said with good enough accuracy that the exes who are leaving the door open are not so sure about what they want. Often they want you to remain as friends or even friends with benefits. Most probably they aren’t interested in reviving the relationship in its original form.
This is not exactly a great opportunity for you. Though it may look as if your ex wants you to come back, it is not on the same level. Your ex seems to be selfish in what they want. They want to be friends without commitment and in a relationship without a label.
Your ex may say they want a break from the relationship, leaving the door wide open. They may promise to return later but you should be aware that there is no guarantee. Often this is a false hope for you and a waste of your time.
2. Your ex is very attentive
If your ex is giving you too much attention to making you feel suffocated, then you should search for reasons for this behavior. There has to be some agenda behind this saccharine sweetness. It can be either of the two – they want to revive the relationship or they want you just as a friend.
If it is the former, your ex will slowly cozy up to you and one day you will find yourself back in the relationship again. If it is the latter, they will still be friends with you but keep you at arm’s length. Maybe your ex is waiting for the stirring of emotions within to get intimate with you.
As far as you are concerned, it is a slippery slope. Unless your ex makes up their mind about what kind of relationship they expect from you, it may not be in your best interest to entertain them.
3. Your ex pretends to be in a relationship with you
Your ex will act as if they are your partner even though you are not in a relationship. This is kind of your ex leaving the door open in case they develop feelings for you. Your ex may like you as a person, but not sure or ready for a committed relationship. On the other hand, your ex really cares about you and doesn’t want to leave you stranded after the breakup.
Your ex may carry on with you after the breakup as if it never happened. They will pretend that you are still partners and spend a lot of time with you. They will help with chores and household tasks and ask for your help and advice. You may even be attending events as a couple.
Your ex definitely has feelings for you, though they are unclear about what those feelings are.
4. Your ex still finds you sexually attractive
Your ex may be still confused after the breakup and give you incoherent and ambiguous signals. But you can understand when they are openly flirting with you. However, this is no guarantee that they want to revive the relationship. Either they find you hard to resist and want to be intimate with you. Or, they are interested in a relationship with no strings attached.
Another possible scenario is when your ex finds it hard to carry on without your emotional support. They are incapable of being on their own. They are leaning toward you for support. The worst-case scenario is when your ex uses you for their physical and emotional needs and discards you after use. They refuse to take responsibility or make commitments.
Having sex with your ex may pave the way for the revival of your relationship. But if this doesn’t happen, you are setting yourself up for exploitation and opening of old wounds.
5. Your ex doesn’t want to be in an exclusive relationship
This is something you need to be cautious about when you walk in that door left open by your ex. Your ex may not be interested to go back to the same kind of relationship you had earlier. If they wanted that, they would never have walked out in the first place.
Your ex may be finding it hard to carry on without you. But clearly, they are not happy with you either. So, they find the ideal way out of this mess after the breakup. They lure you back by leaving the door open for you. At the same time, they will be dating others. If you take up this offer, you may find yourself in some tricky territory.
You may want to get back together with your ex. But by agreeing to this, you are lowering your worth.
6. Your ex is possessive of you
You know that your ex is leaving the door open when they tell you not to date anyone else. Your ex is insecure, jealous, and possessive. Most probably, they still love you but for their own reasons don’t want to be with you now.
Your ex expects you to give them all your attention and affection even though the relationship has ended. Even while your ex is not ready to commit to a relationship with you, they don’t want you to date another person as this means they won’t be seeing you as often as they want to. Your ex cannot tolerate you loving someone else.
7. Your ex repeats that they love you
This is one of the clear signs your ex leaving the door open after the breakup. Even though there were irreconcilable differences when you were together that ultimately led to the breakup, after the end of the relationship, your ex constantly talks about how much they love and care for you. Your ex cannot stop admiring and praising you.
This might make you wonder why they ended the relationship if they had so much love and affection for you. And, from their behavior, you can see that your ex really enjoys being with you. There can only be one reason for such behavior from your ex. They aren’t yet ready to revive the relationship with you. In the meanwhile, your ex doesn’t want you to date another person.
Leaving the door open is a tactic to keep you with them. Your ex is buying more time for themselves to take a call on the relationship.
8. Your ex sets up a date to meet with you
When ending the relationship, your ex arranged a meetup with you after a month or two. A definite date was set. This is an indication that your ex is not completely sure about their decision to break up with you. They know that they may have a change of heart later. And this is an effort to accommodate the change.
Your ex clearly doesn’t want to close the door on you at the time of the breakup. The future meeting is an effort at leaving the door open for a change of heart. They aren’t ready to let go of you or the relationship and want to keep the love alive in your heart.
9. Your ex doesn’t block or unfriend you on social media
When the two of you were together, you were identified as a couple on all social media platforms. When your ex ended the relationship, your ex didn’t change the relationship status to “single” or block/unfriend you. This is a clear sign that your ex hasn’t yet made up their mind and is leaving the door open for reconciliation at a later date.
There is no other reason for such behavior. Because if they are sure about ending the relationship with you, your ex won’t have any hesitation in blocking you from their social media account. If your ex continues to follow you on social media and posts comments on your pictures and posts, it is a definitive sign of their continued interest in you.
10. Your ex keeps in touch with you over calls and texts
Right after the breakup, you had to go through the no-contact period. But once the no-contact period ended, you got your first call or text from your ex. You were reluctant to reply but replied anyway out of courtesy. Now, the number of calls/texts per day has been going up steadily.
It’s clear that your ex wants to keep in touch with you and keep the communication channels open. Sometimes, it would be a request for help or support; at times, they may want some information from you; most times, it is for no reason. Your ex is clearly reluctant to cut ties with you.
11. Your ex is always reminiscing about the good times
When the two of you were together, you either fought or gave each other silent treatment. Now, that you have parted ways, your ex talks only about the good times you shared. This makes you wonder why.
When a person isn’t happy with someone, they will always highlight the negative aspects of the relationship. All they want to do is get away from their partner and move on. They are not leaving the door open or giving their former partners any indications that there is a possibility of reconciliation in the future.
On the other hand, when your ex talks about the “good old days”, it is a clear sign of their continued interest in you. They are clearly leaving the door open for getting back together.
When you come upon signs your ex is leaving the door open, it may not always be a good thing for you though it may appear so at the onset. Even if your ex wants to revive the relationship, it might not be on the same terms as earlier. You may have content yourself with a relationship without commitment or accept an open relationship. If you aren’t in for these kinds of arrangements, it is better to stay away from these enticements.
If you get caught in such a situation in the hope of reviving your relationship, it can delay your vital healing process after the breakup. You will continue to hurt more and more intensely and will have a harder time getting back on your feet after the dust settles down.
After the breakup, you should focus on yourself, your needs, and your wants. There is no need for you to consider how your rejection will affect your ex. The only person you should focus on is you and you alone.