Naturally, you want to get close to the person you love. What would you do if you were pushed away?
Have you faced this situation? If so, there is no need to tell you how much it hurts. But are you the only one who is hurting?
Do you know why your partner is pushing you away when all you want is to feel close to them and give them your unconditional love?
The mindsets of individuals are way too complex to list out the reasons for this behavior. However, you can do a lot to help them overcome their reticence toward closer relationships. For this, you need to be aware that they are indeed pushing you away. Often this is done in a round-about way that you will realize too late.
This article explores the realm of relationships and lists the signs someone is pushing you away. Just keep this information ready on hand so that you can notice these warning signs early enough and take corrective measures before the situation deteriorates.
Signs of someone pushing you away
In a relationship, when you are trying to get more intimate, your partner may push you away for numerous reasons. One of the most common ones is they have an avoidant attachment style mindset.
They must have developed this attachment style in their childhood because of the way they were treated as a child by their caregivers. Though you cannot change the past, you can always try to change the present and the future. You can help them overcome the limitations of their mindset with love, care, and understanding.
All these are possible only when you are aware of their behavior. When your partner is covert in their actions, you may not even realize that you are being pushed away. Look out for these warning signs to detect this right away.
1. They don’t listen to what you are saying.
This is one of the easiest to miss yet most prominent among the signs. An open conversation is vital for a healthy relationship. And, this means both partners speak openly and listen intently.
What if your partner is no longer listening to what you are saying? It is not just annoying and distressing. Because the reason for this behavior may be that your partner is distracted and this is unintentional. In some cases, this can also be an intentional act on the part of your partner.
Whether it is intentional or not, the effect is the same on you. When your partner behaves as if they have not heard anything you said, it can become frustrating. On top of this, if they accuse you of not telling them, the situation may worsen.
You would often feel neglected, though you would try to dismiss this as just imagination on your part. You need to wake up to this behavior of your partner and realize that they are in fact pushing you away.
It is not about you tolerating such behavior. It is more about helping your partner and saving the relationship. And, in the whole process, you are also taking care of yourself.
2. They avoid and/or pull back from your touch.
That is a bummer for sure. This is one of the hardest things for a partner to endure in a relationship. Touch is the most important sensation among partners. When this is absent, it is easy to notice that there is something wrong.
However, your partner may be trying to hide their intentions. So, you may reason this as something unconnected to you and the relationship. You may be led to think that it is the problems at work or with other family members that are behind this disinterest or aversion to touch.
Irrespective of everything your partner is going through, this action of theirs cannot be written off as unrelated. If your relationship is indeed healthy, this wouldn’t have happened. The love for you would override everything else.
Treat this as a warning sign and dig deeper. When you know the real reason for their behavior, you can take the right action and get your relationship back on track in no time.
3. They cancel dates with you.
Your partner may blame it on their busy schedule and last-minute rush jobs. However, if this is happening too often, it is time to sit up and take notice.
Jeopardizing your relationship for the sake of a few canceled dates is not what we are talking about here. You need to realize that there is a possibility that your partner is using this as a tactic to push you away. If this is the case, you should find out the actual reason for the behavior and not assume things.
When people push you away, it can take a toll on your mental health as well. Ignoring it for long can make you feel hurt and neglected. It is time you reevaluate the relationship and figure out whether your partner wants to continue or not. Or better still, whether you want to continue or not.
4. They act weirdly.
All of us have our good days and bad days. None of us can be on our best behavior every moment of our lives. However, there is always a reasonable limit on how far this kind of odd behavior can go on.
If you notice a shift in the behavioral pattern of your partner, you should pay attention. Ignoring this for long can lead to the downfall of your relationship.
When your partner is ignoring you, you may confront them or assume that you have done something wrong, based on your own character. However, you need to realize that the problem is not with you.
If your partner is no longer interested in continuing with the relationship, there is no point in you hanging around wasting your time. On the other hand, if your partner needs help, give it, by all means.
When your partner is behaving weirdly, find out the real reason and do what needs to be done.
5. You know that something is wrong.
You have been feeling this way for some time now but dismiss it as a figment of your imagination. You should never ignore your intuitions. In situations like this, your gut feeling will be more accurate than the assessments of your logical mind.
When your partner is giving you the cold shoulder, listen to what your natural instinct is telling you. Should you call it quits and move away? Or should you stick around and help your partner resolve their personal issues? Trust where your intuition is taking you.
Your gut feeling will never betray your interests, while your conscious mind may be willing to be more tolerant and understanding for the sake of the relationship. You need to realize that there is no logic in doing this if your partner is no longer interested in you.
However, if your gut is telling you to be more patient with your partner as they are going through hard times, by all means, listen to the advice.
6. Your messages remain unread.
Doesn’t this make you wonder why? Doesn’t your partner have a minute or two to spare to read your messages and reply in a day? If this is the case, how can you make the relationship work?
Your concern is valid. Despite this, you may be willing to dismiss this behavior as a result of their busy schedule or other issues.
If your messages remain unread and don’t elicit a reply, it is time for you to pay attention. Irrespective of the reason, you don’t deserve to be treated this way. If you really think that your partner genuinely needs help, offer help.
Then, it is up to your partner to accept the help offered and make the best of it. If they are unwilling to do that and make necessary changes in their lives, maybe it is time for you to bid adieu to the relationship.
If you don’t take action, you will be the one suffering the consequences.
7. They have time for everyone else except you.
When we are talking about someone pushing you away, it cannot get worse than this scenario. Of course, they have every right to spend time with the people of their choice. This clearly means your partner has an issue with only you. If this is the case, you should have an open conversation about it rather than act covertly and mysteriously.
When you notice your partner is ignoring you or giving you a cold shoulder, you should check to see if you are being singled out for this treatment. It makes a huge difference whether your partner is socially active or not. Is your partner showing reluctance to spend time with you alone?
There is no need for you to get worked up and feel paranoid. This calls for you to be calm and unperturbed. You should try to find out the real reason for this behavior and not jump to conclusions. Neither should you blame yourself or beat yourself up over this.
This is the time you need to focus on self-care and self-love. You will need all the support you can find, especially from yourself.
More signs someone is pushing you away
- They avoid eye contact with you.
- They evade having real conversations with you.
- They are easily offended by everything you say or do.
- They are no longer happy to see you.
- You are no longer part of their plans.
- They are least interested in what is going on in your life.
- You see them enjoying the company of others.
- They openly flirt with others when you are present.
- They are openly critical of you, your choices, and even your family and friends.
- They blame you for all the problems in their life.
- They ask to be left alone.
- They ask for some time off from the relationship.
Though all these are signs someone is pushing you away, not all of them can be taken in the same way. While some clearly indicate that your partner is no longer interested in you and it is time for you to move on, others can be interpreted either way.
Your partner doesn’t want to spend time with you. If this is the case, it would not be good for you to remain ignorant or ignore what is happening right in front of you. Wake up to your partner’s behavior and find out the reason for it. Listen to your gut feeling and take the right action.