You have this friend whose boyfriend is head over heels in love with her. A comment that tends to follow her around is, “Oh, how lucky you are! Your boyfriend is so much into you”.
This is so obvious that even casual observers tend to see it and comment on it. And, of course, she loves hearing it. After all, who doesn’t?
However, it was not like this at the beginning of the relationship. When she started off, her boyfriend was chilled out. In fact, it was way too chilled out to her liking. But she managed to turn around her relationship to exactly where she wanted it to be.
Is your boyfriend also too cool and taking it a tad too easy? You can also work the magic and get your relationship to similar circumstances. Are you interested in learning about how to make him obsess over you? Read on.
This article details various approaches you can use to bring about the transformation you want to see in your relationship. You too can make him obsessed with you and only you.
Steps to make your boyfriend obsessed with you
Let’s begin at the beginning and try to understand what makes a man obsessed with a woman. Once you have the right information, you can work on solving the riddle “How to make him obsess over you?”.
And, here in this context, obsession comes with a positive connotation and has nothing to do with obsessive love disorder.
1. Try to develop self-obsession.
When we use the word “obsession”, it carries a negative connotation. It implies something over-the-top and undesirable. Here, in this article, the word “obsession” is not used with any negativity attached to it. It is a positive word, carrying a positive meaning.
Here, obsession doesn’t involve arrogance or being self-centered. The only meaning implied here is practicing self-love, self-care, and embracing yourself. It means self-appreciation, self-belief, and the ability to see one’s own worth.
Do you know that the more you appreciate yourself, the more others will appreciate you? When you value yourself, you will shine so bright that others will spot it too. It will be hard to miss for others.
You must know the value of confidence and how it can change others’ perspectives of you. Do remember that confidence doesn’t mean being pretentious or having an attitude. You can be humble and confident at the same time.
This is easier to preach than to practice. Often we are our own worst enemies. We tend to limit and slot ourselves. Self-love exercises can help you to forgive yourself and be kind and compassionate to yourself.
2. Treat him like a king.
Again, this is not meant in a negative way. Don’t be submissive or let go of your identity, ambitions, and goals to make him feel special. There is no need for that. You can be yourself and be independent and still make him feel on top of the world.
You avoid being overbearing and needy. These are relationship-busters. Guys will run away from you if you display such traits. You don’t need to act distant or beyond reach to keep him chasing you. Ultimately, he will lose interest and leave you.
Instead, let him know how much you appreciate him and to have him in your life. You can make it clear to him that you are no longer interested in other guys. Make him feel special by revealing your innermost secrets.
Include him in your plans for the future. Let him know that he is the only one who can make you laugh and be happy when you are feeling low. Make eye contact, be kind and understanding, give him attention, and flirt in a way he cannot help getting obsessed over you.
These may not seem like much but, rest assured, these tactics are going to bring the desired results.
3. Be flirty and playful.
Often playing hard to get is mistaken for being playful. Before you move forward on this path, understand the difference. While the former is negative, the latter is positive.
The early days of a relationship are the best. You are getting to know each other and your options are still open. It still hasn’t turned serious and there has been no talk about commitment. Don’t spoil the mood by taking things too seriously. Keep it light and full of fun. Show him your naughty side. It can fan the flames of passion in him in no time.
Cultivating a playful atmosphere in a relationship comes with advantages. Not only will you appear more attractive to him, but it also creates an environment in which you can ask him anything without offending him.
Playfulness also means less anxiety and tension. Those who are in long-term relationships swear by it. They attribute flirting and being playful as the reasons for their success.
Play pranks on each other, surprise each other and laugh together. Make sure that your together-time is filled with fun and laughter.
4. Trigger his hero instinct.
This is a fail-safe strategy in a relationship. Men have inner-hero instincts ingrained in their genes. All you need to do is set it in motion. Mind you, this is not at the cost of your self-respect or individual freedom.
Women nowadays are highly independent and self-sufficient. That takes away the need for men to play heroes in their lives. He may start thinking, “When you are fully capable of managing your life, what is the need for a man in your life?”. You cannot exactly blame him for thinking this way either.
Men want to be wanted and useful. By being independent, you are denying him the chance to be useful in your life.
You don’t need to act dumb or helpless to trigger his hero instinct. You continue to be yourself and still make space for him in your life. It is all about saying and doing the right things. You can learn more about it in this video.
5. Take it easy.
You may be feeling obsessed with your boyfriend and your relationship is all that you can think about. Most probably, he is not as obsessed as you. In your eagerness to intensify his obsession, you come on too strong. When you do this, it seems to turn him off and he seems to retreat further. This is the story of many women.
You need to understand that he is different and you need to go at his pace to get him going in the relationship. For this, you may have to slow down, rein yourself in, and take it easy.
Don’t be a Ferrari that takes off from 0-100 in 3 seconds flat. Better be a Nissan or a Mitsubishi. This will serve you well in the long run. Remember that a relationship is not a 100m sprint but more like a marathon. If you treat it like a sprint, you will run out of fuel too quickly.
Take a step back and give him space to breathe, be himself, and do things his way. Let your relationship develop at a normal pace. Not rushing into a relationship will also serve you well. Because the fast-paced ones are more likely to fail. The break-neck speed and high intensity can wear you out and the relationship may fizzle away.
6. Pay attention to your appearance.
Though your attitude and emotional compatibility play a huge role in the success of your relationship, it is your appearance and physical attraction that acts as the catalyst in this chemical reaction. Making yourself attractive to your boyfriend can trigger lust and obsession in him.
However, an important point for you to remember is that attraction is not entirely dependent on your looks alone. It is also reflected in your behavior and the way you carry yourself. Your appearance is definitely going to help further your case.
This doesn’t mean that you project an image of yourself that your boyfriend wants to see but is not faithful to your true self. Being yourself and being comfortable in your own skin is of paramount importance. You need to find a balance between all these various elements and find your own niche to project an image of a cool, smart, funny, and intelligent woman who is at home being herself.
Another aspect to pay attention to is not to reveal everything about yourself at this stage. Honesty has its own place and value in a relationship. You can still retain your mystery without being dishonest. Just leave a bit of you stashed away so that his interest is piqued.
Don’t let it slide when it comes to your appearance. It always pays well to have a great dress sense, elegant behavior, and a good humor sense.
7. Keep yourself grounded.
It is one thing to chase something with obsession but it becomes an altogether different ballgame when you get yourself into a frenzy. Staying grounded is vital to retain your sanity as well as achieve success in whatever you are pursuing.
Think up steps that are constructive in nature rather than manipulative. Being true to yourself and keeping it real are some of the best advice given by relationship counselors. Another piece of advice you should listen to is not to try too hard. Most of us think hard work is the only way to ensure success. But hard work and trying too hard are as different as chalk and cheese.
If you are considering various strategies to make your boyfriend obsess over you, desist from putting on a manipulative performance. All you need to do is highlight and enhance your strengths and assets. The rest will fall into place on its own.
Above all, don’t try to project the image of someone else in the hope that your boyfriend will fall in love without doubt. Even if he does, you won’t be able to sustain the charade for long and when he sees you for who you are, he is sure to walk away. In the long run, this is bound to fail.
Be yourself and keep it real.
More tips to make your boyfriend obsess over you
- Reveal your vulnerability
- Set healthy relationship boundaries
- Let him know of your appreciation and gratitude
- Use the words “love you” and “thank you” often.
- Don’t surrender your individuality or freedom
- Bond well as a team and form an equal partnership
- Allow him to be free and afford him his own space
- Let him know that you trust and respect him
- Mirror his actions, be it is positive or negative
Making a guy fall in love with you and become obsessed with you is not a hard task if you are aware of what you are doing. Needless to say, there is a precondition to this – the two of you want to be in a relationship and consider this advantageous.
The rules of the game are simple enough. Practice self-love, treat him well, lighten the mood by being playful, stay grounded, take it easy, perk yourself up, and trigger his hero instinct. At no point do anything to demean yourself or let go of your freedom or individuality. He is sure to fall for you like a ton of bricks.