At the risk of generalizing, it can be said that women are more mature than men in many aspects of life. However, there are always exceptions to such generalizations.
Some women tend to be less mature than their counterparts. Their immaturity may be evident in various facets of their behavior – emotional, mental, social, and spiritual.
For a person dating an emotionally immature woman, it can be exhausting.
But often women are judged and slotted as emotionally immature among other equally demeaning labels like crazy, clingy, selfish, or narcissistic. Before you go ahead and accept this label as true, it would be worth checking its veracity. Is it just a ruse to put them down and show them the place? Or, is she really an emotionally immature woman?
This article will help you figure this out through convenient signs. If you can spot these signs in the woman, you can safely conclude that she is indeed an emotionally immature woman. Then, you can decide how to handle her and the situation the right way.
Before we move on to signs of emotional immaturity in a woman, let’s check the clear definition of emotional immaturity so that there is no misunderstanding about it.
What is emotional immaturity?
As per American Psychological Association, emotional maturity is defined as “a high and appropriate level of emotional control and expression”. The lack of it is emotional immaturity.
Emotional immaturity is “the tendency to express emotions without restraint or disproportionate to the situation”. An emotionally immature person may not be able to keep their emotions under control and behave in an appropriate manner consummate with the situation.
An emotionally immature person will find it hard to express and control their emotions. Instead of them containing their emotions, the emotions seem to control them. The behavior of an emotionally immature person is often considered equivalent to the behavior of a child.
Obvious signs of emotional immaturity in a woman
Human beings mature emotionally as they age. While some mature faster, others are slower and hence left behind. Those who are left behind in their emotional maturity are called emotionally immature people.
Even those who are called emotionally mature were immature at some point. They learned to keep their emotions in check with experience and practice. In most cases, emotionally immature people can gain maturity over time and catch up with their more mature counterparts. It’s just a matter of time.
The signs of emotional immaturity are usually temporary setbacks. But at least in some instances, emotional immaturity is a more permanent feature. Either the emotionally immature person refuses to accept their immaturity or they simply refuse to accept the need to “grow up”.
Without further ado, here are a few clear signs of emotional immaturity in a woman.
1. She wears her heart on her sleeve
She is highly emotional and is good at revealing her emotions. Unfortunately, she isn’t as good at verbalizing them. She lacks the ability to communicate her feelings through words. She reacts and doesn’t respond to the people around her. She isn’t capable of processing her emotions and expressing her emotions in a mature way.
Some of her typical ways of displaying her emotions are sighing, staring, frowning, silent treatment, or passive-aggressive behavior. She will slam doors to let you know how she feels rather than talk to you about her anger. She doesn’t know how to show emotions the right way. The worst part is she doesn’t feel that she is doing something wrong and needs to correct herself.
2. She runs away from difficult situations
When confronted with too complex a situation and finding her emotions too confusing or hard to handle, she would rather break up than try to process what is happening and figure out an amicable solution. She doesn’t know how to handle highly stressful and emotional situations. Unfortunately, she doesn’t know how to make it up either.
An immature woman in a relationship would choose to break up when the going gets tough. She doesn’t know how to cope with an emotional or stressful situation. Her emotional immaturity is more about the absence of coping skills.
3. She expects others to adjust to her needs
An emotionally immature woman doesn’t think that adjustment has to come from both partners in a relationship. Her emotional immaturity prevents her from making adjustments or compromises. Instead, she expects her partner to accommodate her needs and make all sacrifices to keep the relationship going.
An emotionally immature woman fails to see her partner’s perspective. Be it a romantic relationship or a friendship, such emotionally immature behavior can cause fissures in the relationship and damage it permanently. Her attitude can be summarized as “my way or the highway”.
4. She harbors a feeling of entitlement
She truly believes that everyone “owes” her and behaves with a sense of entitlement. She feels privileged and weaponizes it to get her way with others. She acts somewhat like a child.
She has her own ideas about how things should be and should happen in her world. She sets the rules and others simply have to follow them. When something goes wrong and chips don’t fall the way she wants, she will consider it unfair and make a ruckus to get others to correct their “mistakes”.
She hasn’t grown up beyond her childhood and acts childishly.
5. She demands others to pay attention to her and her needs
She doesn’t understand the concept of earning love, affection, and attention. Instead, she demands it and doesn’t even ask for it nicely. An immature woman in a relationship will demand that her partner spend his entire time attending to her needs. She expects others to drop everything when she needs them. But she is not comfortable with emotional intimacy.
She doesn’t think she needs to ask for anything. She expects others to sense her needs and fulfill them. Just like a child stomping the ground and making demands, she throws tantrums when her needs are unmet.
If this is also ignored, she will try to catch your attention in other ways. She may even cause harm to herself so you pay attention to her.
6. Everything is a personal insult or assault to her
An immature woman takes things personally and makes them about her. She lacks the emotional resilience to handle criticism and negative comments. Even if you are merely expressing your opinion, an emotionally immature woman will take it as a personal attack on her character or intentions.
She would react by lashing out at the person who said it instead of objectively considering why that person said it. She doesn’t understand how to respond healthily and instead behaves defensively.
7. She relies on external sources to build her self-esteem
An emotionally immature woman has low self-esteem, which she tries to prop up by relying on external sources. She seeks validation from others and looks for ways to prove her worth.
She needs the attention and admiration of others to feel good about herself. If someone compliments her, she will cling to that one statement and use it as a shield against any other criticism.
She also has a tendency to brag about her achievements or possessions as if trying to prove something. The emotional maturity of such a person is low, and she lacks the emotional resilience to make tough decisions without relying on external sources.
8. She is a drama queen. She reacts and overreacts to everything
An emotionally immature woman is an emotional roller coaster. She has no control over her emotional reactions and expresses them without consideration for others or the consequences.
She tends to blow things out of proportion and imagines scenarios in her head that don’t even exist. A simple disagreement may seem like a mountain to such women, and they will react as if the sky is falling.
The way she reacts to small things can reveal her emotional immaturity. She may get angry or emotional easily without being able to control her feelings. She shifts blame on others instead of finding solutions or taking responsibility for her actions.
9. She avoids emotional intimacy
An emotionally immature woman finds emotional intimacy uncomfortable and will try to avoid it at all costs. She has difficulty expressing her real emotions, which can manifest in different forms.
She may joke around when confronted with emotional issues or act aloof as if the topic is not important enough for her. She also tends to be overly guarded and doesn’t open up easily.
This emotional wall is a way for her to protect herself from the uncomfortable emotions that come with emotional intimacy. She may also be afraid of getting too close and feeling vulnerable, so she will try to push people away rather than develop meaningful relationships.
Some more signs of emotional immaturity in a woman
- She turns defensive when her mistakes are pointed out.
- She is highly critical of others and judges them all the time.
- She doesn’t hesitate to attack others personally and call them names to get her way.
- She always finds herself in an emotionally stressful relationship with a high drama quotient.
- She is incapable of recognizing her mistakes and apologizing for them.
- She often finds herself in unhealthy codependent relationships.
- She finds it impossible to let it go and holds grudges against others.
- She isn’t aware of her problems and deficiency in her behavior. She always blames others.
How to Deal with an Emotionally Immature Women
If you recognize emotional immaturity in a woman, the most important thing to do is to be patient and understanding. It is important to not be judgmental or patronizing, as this could worsen her emotional immaturity, and she may become more defensive.
Give her time and space to figure out how to deal with her emotional immaturity, and encourage her to try different methods.
Talk to her and help her see things from a different perspective so that she can take responsibility for her emotional immaturity. Show her that emotional maturity is a sign of strength, not weakness, and it will help her build healthier relationships.
Finally, make sure to provide emotional support and understanding. Listen to her emotional issues, validate her feelings and give her advice if she wants it. Doing this will help her be more in tune with her emotional state and gradually become more emotionally mature.
Final thoughts on emotionally immature woman
Dealing with an emotionally immature woman is not an easy task for her partner. As she can’t be expected to recognize her problem and correct herself, it’s up to the partner to find a solution. As soon as the partner becomes aware of her emotional immaturity, he should evaluate the situation to see if a healthy relationship is possible with her.
The partner can help the situation by setting up clear boundaries and enforcing them. If she isn’t capable of talking about her needs, the partner can make an effort to begin the conversation. As her partner, he needs to realize that it isn’t easy for her to change her behavior. With patience, he may be able to save the relationship. Couples counseling is another option worth trying.
There must be a reason for her to behave like a hurt or ignored child vying for your attention. Figure this out and take remedial actions. You can get your relationship back on track in no time.