None of us get to choose who we fall in love with. Sometimes we may end up in a relationship with an emotionally broken person.
If you are aware of how complicated the relationship can be, you may have avoided it. But the truth is, an emotionally broken person is hard to ignore. They give out vibes that they are helpless and vulnerable and need your help and protection. Either your motherly instinct or hero instinct will prompt you to get close to them, know them, protect them, and finally end up in a relationship with them.
While on the topic, let’s not confuse “broken-hearted” with “emotionally broken” person. Someone is brokenhearted when they are overwhelmed by disappointment or grief. This is common after a breakup.
What makes a person broken?
The signs a person is broken are detected when they experience mental trauma or low levels of mental health as a result of emotional abuse. There are no age or gender restrictions for feeling emotionally broken. The typical manifestations of an emotionally broken person are low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and in the worst cases, PTSD and suicidal tendencies.
If you suspect that your partner is emotionally broken, it can be hard getting close to them and knowing them. But if you can identify their mental health issues, you may be able to help them and build a healthy relationship with them.
This article lists the prominent characteristics of a broken person. You may find this useful in understanding broken person meaning and tearing down the wall they put up around them.
Common characteristics of a broken person
After suffering emotional abuse for long, it is natural that these broken people have lost faith in the people around them. They are low on confidence and self-esteem.
An emotionally broken person is reluctant to ask for help or even take the help you may offer. But they deserve more love and care than a normal person. Without gaining their trust, you would find it impossible to have a loving relationship with them. Though this would be challenging to achieve, it would be worth the effort.
Check out the signs of a broken person to see if you want to go ahead with the relationship. If you decide to carry on, you will find these insights into their minds helpful in formulating your strategy to gain their goodwill.
1. They will push you away
Remember the saying – a scalded cat fears cold water. It’s the same with an emotionally broken person. They were abused and hurt in the past. They believe that they will be abused and will get hurt in the future as well. Due to this, they find it hard to trust anyone and stay away from everyone.
This is understandable from the emotionally broken person’s point of view. They have suffered a lot and don’t want to go through the same again. This will make them even sabotage their relationship.
Though from a distance, the behavior of an emotionally broken person may seem normal, as soon as your relationship starts getting serious, you will find them pushing you away. Don’t misunderstand this gesture as their dislike for you. In fact, it’s the other way around.
An emotionally broken person will push you away when they become aware of their feelings for you. They like you more than they care to admit. They fear that allowing you to get closer to them is not good for them. They firmly believe that you will walk away from them sooner or later. To prevent this from happening and to protect themselves, they pull out of the relationship. They push you away.
Just remind yourself that you did nothing wrong. All you did was get too close to the broken person.
2. They constantly fear rejection
A broken person views rejection as one more weight pulling them down, preventing them from living their life. They consider rejection as proof of their failure. Their mind is so brittle that they give in and give up easily. When they are rejected, they will view it as a confirmation of their own doubts about their abilities.
In a relationship, a broken person will never make the first move. They sort of hold their breath fearing that the relationship will collapse any moment. Even if you say nice things and appreciate them, they will consider it as if you’re mocking them.
While dating an emotionally broken person, you may have to make all the moves and do most of the work.
3. They are unusually silent during fights and arguments
You expect people to stand up for themselves. But an emotionally broken person won’t or is incapable of even this normal behavior. Even if you accuse them, they don’t fight back. No yelling, no screaming. They remain quiet with their head downcast throughout the argument.
Usually, when someone is silent during an argument, the natural assumption is that they are guilty and accept their mistake. With an emotionally broken person, it doesn’t work this way. They are not owning up or surrendering. They are also not letting you win the argument.
In fact, they have had enough arguments in the past that they are not interested in them anymore. They consider fights and arguments merely a waste of their precious time. Moreover, their confidence level is so low that they find it difficult to stand up for themselves.
A broken person doesn’t want to defend themselves when forced into a fight. They would rather keep quiet or walk away.
4. They experience extreme mood swings
They can be happy in one moment and sad the next without much reason. There may be reasons but you may have a hard time identifying them. A broken person is highly sensitive. This means, you need to be careful about what you are telling them, lest it causes emotional distress.
For the partner of a broken person, this can be really hard. You may feel that you are walking on eggshells. One small wrong move and you feel as if you are doomed. If you happen to say the right thing, you will end up making the broken person happy, while a single wrong word can make them sad or mad.
Due to this behavior of the broken person, the relationship is hard to sustain. You will feel the need to watch and censor everything you say or do so as not to upset them. You constantly feel on the edge.
5. They need constant validation
They are so broken inside that they cannot manage to self-validate. They look at external sources for validation. Because of their fragile nature, you may have to reiterate your love and commitment to the relationship repeatedly.
In the past, they may have had to tolerate constant criticism, making them lose their confidence and self-esteem. Though they have shaken off the emotional abuse now, they continue to blame themselves when something goes wrong. All they can see are their own bad traits. Unless you constantly remind them that they are good and competent, they may not be able to recognize this fact.
A broken person may demand proof from you that things are good. Even when you say you love them, they will demand proof. Without proof, they may refuse to believe that they are good. Loving someone who is broken isn’t easy.
More characteristics of brokenness
- They have no confidence.
- They feel insecure.
- They are highly sensitive.
- They find it hard to open up.
- They are silent and keep their emotions bottled up.
- They always fear that you will walk out on them eventually.
- They need constant assurance of your love and commitment.
- They run away from issues and arguments.
Bottom line
Though being emotionally broke is not gender-specific and can affect both men and women, men are slightly more disadvantaged due to societal expectations. They are expected to bear pain silently without a murmur. This makes it harder for an emotionally broken man to recognize and accept what they are going through.
A broken person firmly believes that by loving you, they are giving you the power to harm them. It is a long and arduous journey for them to have a normal life and healthy relationships. You can help them but you may have to overcome their resistance and this requires quite some effort.
Before you venture into a relationship with an emotionally broken man or woman, you should understand the full ramifications of your decision.
Related: Signs a Broken Man Loves You