Have you felt like your husband or partner is no longer interested in you sexually? This is a common issue in marriages.
You married the guy believing it to be a lifelong commitment.
Of course, you knew that it involved hard work and sacrifices. You also were aware that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows throughout. But you were under the impression that your love and devotion towards each other would get you through tough times.
A few years later, you are doubting your beliefs about love and married life. You know for sure that it’s not the same as in the beginning. Something is definitely off. A quick search for the cause of this feeling didn’t yield any results.
What went wrong in your marriage? Is love alone enough to keep two individuals together in a relationship lifelong?
Have I done something wrong? Or did my husband change over the years? Is he less physically attracted to me? Is he feeling this way because he is too busy with work? What can I do about this?
The lack of affection is a common issue in marriages. The reason need not always be because he is no longer sexually attracted to you. When two individuals are involved, there can be any number of reasons for this turn of events. But if you want to confirm that it is not due to his sexual disinterest in you, watch his body language.
This article lists 7 signs your man is not sexually attracted to you. If you spot any of these signs, you can still save your marriage with the right approach.
7 signs husband not sexually attracted to wife
Check for these signs if you’re worried that he isn’t into you. Once you know the real issue, you can try to resolve it.
1. You no longer talk to each other
It has been said and written ad nauseam that communication forms the backbone of a relationship. Once it crumbles, the relationship will find it impossible to hold itself up.
Maybe you still talk, but only the bare essentials to run the house. When was the last time you had an intimate heart-to-heart conversation? You may say that you are no longer a teenager to indulge in mushy talks. That is just an eyewash to hide from the real issue.
Does he give you his full attention when you talk to him? If not, this is an area of concern. This may be because he is not sexually attracted to you anymore.
2. He doesn’t tell you what he wants
Marriage is about two individuals committing to caring for each other. Is that what is happening in your relationship? Are you aware of his needs? Is he telling you about his wants?
When communication breaks down in a marriage, one of its serious fallouts is the inability of the two people to gauge the needs of the other. You may be able to carry on for some time, guessing his needs. But as time goes by, your guesses may be getting further and further off the mark.
You will find it hard to make it work in the long term.
3. He overlooks your needs
One of the signs that he is not sexually attracted to you anymore is the neglect of your needs. If you’re used to being cared for and suddenly find that your needs are being unmet, it’s a huge red flag.
If you are telling him what you want and he is still ignoring you, it is clear that he has lost interest in you. Or is he denying you the opportunity to communicate your needs to him? What does his body language tell you?
Whatever the situation, clearly, he isn’t emotionally attracted to you or wants to engage with you anymore.
4. His love and affection have toned down
In the early days, you two were heady in love and found it hard to be separated from each other. Sexual attraction was at its peak. As things settle down in your married life and both of you get used to the daily routine, it won’t be the same. The love and sexual attraction will mellow down. This rule applies to all couples and marriages.
As years pass by, the nature of love and affection for each other will witness a transformation. In a healthy marriage, the love will never vanish. It will be present in some form or another.
The problem crops up when there is a mismatch between the love given and the need for love. If you expect more love and your husband is offering less than you expected, it is natural for you to feel dejected. You may feel that he is not affectionate anymore.
In reality, this may not be true. All you need is a heart-to-heart talk to sort things out.
5. Sex is absent
The honeymoon phase is called so because it is special and unique. Your feelings and sexual attraction for each other will be at a maximum. Once this phase is over and you settle down into the humdrum of life, you cannot expect the same level of passion, sexual attraction, and attention.
The frequency of sex is bound to come down after the honeymoon period. This doesn’t mean a lack of affection, interest, or sexual attraction towards you from your husband. Pay attention to his body language.
However, if sex is almost absent in your married life, it is an area of concern. It shows the lack of love and connection between the two of you. You may treat this as a sign that his sexual attraction towards you is on the wane or non-existent.
6. He prefers to spend time with his friends alone
After the heady honeymoon days, when he can’t get enough of you, his love has mellowed down considerably. Now, he likes to spend time with friends whenever he is free.
Earlier, he used to be physically attracted to you and proud to be seen with you. He used to take you along with him to gatherings to show you off to his friends. Now, all this has changed. He goes to meet his friends alone. Even when you offer to tag along, he brushes you off.
This alone is not a big worry for you. You cannot conclude from this alone that he doesn’t find you sexually attractive. But if you are noticing other signs as well, maybe this is a cause for concern.
7. He is always finding fault with you
Nothing you do seems to be right with him. He picks on silly things to get angry and shout at you. He always seems to be annoyed by everything you do.
Your suggestions are always brushed off as foolish and impractical. To you, it appears as if he is irritated just by your presence. It will naturally make you wonder whether he doesn’t find you sexually attractive.
There is nothing much you can do in this situation other than have an open conversation with him. You need to figure out the real cause of his irritation. If it is something you can do, try resolving the issue.
What to do when a guy is not sexually attracted to you?
After going through the signs, it may make you wonder why he is no longer sexually attracted to you. Some of the common reasons are poor communication, the decline in his sex drive, or your lack of self-confidence.
The lack of love and attention from your husband can make you feel unwanted. This can lead to a lot of heartache. Before you begin to blame your husband, better check whether your own behavior triggered this conduct in him.
More than anything, communication holds the key to the problem as well as the solution. Work on improving your communication skills. Learn how to express your thoughts and feelings and listen actively. You can resolve most of your marital troubles with this.
No matter how you decide to deal with this issue, resist the temptation to blame yourself. Learn to love and take better care of yourself. Work on improving your confidence and self-esteem before venturing further.