It might seem strange to you when a guy turns away after spending some intimate time together.
This will make you wonder about his intentions. You are right to feel confused about what the guy really expects from you.
At the beginning of a relationship, you are just trying to get to know each other more and more. This makes it hard for you to know what to expect from him. The same is true for him as well.
When you have an experience like this, it’s better to dig deeper and find out the real reasons instead of jumping to conclusions. Because he may have a valid reason for pulling away from you. Or he may not be trying to keep his distance at all; he may be taking a break to attend to something else.
This article explores the relationship realm and comes up with a few common reasons why guys distance themselves after intimacy. Once you know the answer to “Why is he acting distant after hooking up?”, you can think up ways to avoid it and get him closer.
Why do guys pull away after intimacy?
There can be several reasons why he is distant after intimacy. Instead of guessing the reasons for their action and judging them, you can take the direct approach. Ask them right out.
If you aren’t yet ready for this conversation but would still like to get to the bottom of this, read on.
1. He isn’t yet ready for a relationship.
The fear of emotional attraction is one of the most common reasons why men withdraw after intimacy. Guys are indeed hard to read at this stage. You might find it difficult to tell it apart if the guy is in love with you or if he is merely using you for physical and emotional intimacy.
He may have made this clear in some way or the other and you might have missed these signals. When you start seeing a guy, you need to keep your eyes and ears wide open to catch these signals. You should also learn to accurately interpret such signals so that you aren’t under any misapprehension.
This information can come in handy in situations like this.
2. He is interested only in one-night stands.
This may be hard for you to digest but this is the cold truth. You may have misread his signals and agreed to physical intimacy, believing it to be the beginning of a long-term relationship. He sadly didn’t have any such intentions.
His goal was plain and simple – immediate pleasure. He may even promise you whatever you want to get what they want. Only when he moves away do you realize how you were deceived. This is not an ideal situation for you but you can save yourself heartbreaks by being alert to his visible/hidden signals.
3. He is afraid of getting hurt.
Maybe he had a bad experience which is making him scared of emotional attraction. He doesn’t want to get entangled in emotional intimacy and get emotionally involved with you. He may feel that he is exposing himself to similar experiences by actually loving you. This means no prospects of love or relationship.
Some attractive guys distance themselves after intimacy because staying on makes them feel more vulnerable and less masculine. Though you may not agree with him, there is nothing much you can do about this. If he realizes his folly later on, he might come back and revive the relationship.
4. He is using it to know your mind.
Some men find it hard to read the minds of women. When they aren’t sure of your intentions, they use sexual intimacy as a strategy to figure it out. Before they make the big move, they just want to know where they stand with you.
When men pull away after physical intimacy, they are closely watching you and your reactions. If they are convinced that you are disappointed by their pulling away, they can feel assured of your interest in the relationship. This is indeed a roundabout way to know your mind. But it takes all kinds to make the world!
5. You did something to annoy him.
Some attractive guys find it hard to get along with women who are too expressive about their emotions. Or, the ones who are too clingy.
You may find nothing wrong in expressing your love and affection, but he may find it suffocating. Keeping his distance may be his way of telling you to tone it down.
This is bound to create a dilemma for you. You liked him and it felt like he too liked you. Now this behavior is a bit confusing for you. If you are looking for an equally expressive partner, he is not the one for you. It is up to you to decide whether you want to go forward with him.
6. You’re going too fast for him.
While women are more forthcoming with their emotions and thoughts, men are usually reticent, in general. In your eagerness, you may have been more exuberant and enthusiastic than your usual self. He may have found this too much to handle. Most probably, he is feeling overwhelmed by your behavior.
In such instances, it is natural for him to keep his distance from you. He is giving you time to cool down and be more normal. He will do the same when he finds your pace too fast for his taste. He will withdraw from you to allow you time to slow down. If this is the case, he will come back to you once he is sure that you understand his requirement.
Again, you need to consider whether you want to continue a relationship with this guy.
7. He didn’t find you suitable for himself.
Maybe you didn’t match up to his expectations. He wasn’t satisfied with the experience. Though this may come as a surprise or a shock to you, this is how it is. After all, he has the prerogative to choose what he wants and who he wants to be with. And, he doesn’t want to be with you.
This is bound to be disappointing for you. Unfortunately, you can’t do much about this. You can move on hoping for better luck next time.
Final thoughts on guys distance themselves after intimacy
Maybe he is suffering from an inferiority complex, is scared of emotional attraction, or he is just taking time out to get over the refractory period. There can be any number of reasons why men pull away from you after sexual intimacy. It is better to get the facts right and not rely on guesses and surmises.
Once you have the correct reasons for his behavior, you can decide on the next course of action. As a general rule, giving him space is highly recommended as that is what he wants. Avoid clingy behavior and let him know that you are happy to take a step back and make space for him.
No matter what you decide to do, make sure that you establish an open channel of communication early on in the relationship. This will help you overcome this phase as well as the ones you are bound to encounter later on.