When it comes to relationships, both men and women can feel pressure to take the next step. For women, we often wonder how we can make him commit without applying too much pressure and scaring him off. For men, they may feel the weight of expectation to provide and protect – something that can be difficult if they are not yet ready for that level of commitment. Whether you have been dating for a month or a year, here are 11 ways to make him commit without pressure.
11 Ways to Make Him Commit Without Pressure
Most relationships go smoothly until commitment issues pop up. Why is it important to make a man commit? Is it really necessary?
If both partners agree on a relationship without commitment, well and good. If at least one partner wants more assurance in the relationship, they cannot be faulted for this.
Commitment is important because a relationship without commitment is like an unmoored and drifting vessel. Nobody wants a life in which they have no control over what is happening to them.
You have found the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. All you want is to make the man commit. Let’s see how you can manage that without pressuring him.
1. Take it easy
Getting worked up about your relationship is not going to help. Learn how to relax and go with the flow.
It is the universal truth that if you chase someone or something, it runs further away from you. Like a butterfly. The moment you stop, it will come towards you.
However, this means going against your natural instinct. The more you try to distract yourself, the more you find yourself obsessing over him. Remember that when you run after him, you are devaluing yourself and making yourself out to be an attention-seeking and controlling person. You definitely don’t want to have this image for yourself.
Show interest in him. Or, even flirt a bit. Stop chasing him and acting needy.
2. Remain a mystery
At the beginning of a relationship, there is always an eagerness to know each other. In enthusiasm don’t reveal everything about yourself to him. Don’t let go of your mystery element. Pick and choose what you want to reveal about yourself.
When there is nothing more to know about you, your man will find you boring. Keep up that mystery element in you and he will want to be with you.
3. Be independent
You are in love with this man doesn’t mean you have to give up your life and accept his ways as your own. This is a misconception most young lovers have which they regret later on when things start going down the hill.
Don’t put your life on hold or give up your dreams. A man likes a woman who can stand up in her own right and can make independent decisions. Don’t give up on your friends either.
No doubt, you have to make space for this guy in your life and make some adjustments to fit into the new role. However, don’t let this adjustment be one-sided. Let him also make some positive moves. Let him earn your attention and affection.
4. Flip the script
This is not about playing mind games. If he is acting slippery when you bring up the topic of commitment, turn the tables on him without being too obvious. This is known as reverse psychology. It is the practice of encouraging a behavior when what you really want is the opposite.
Instead of chasing him for commitment and pining for him, act uninterested. Be hesitant about saying “yes” to a committed relationship.
This is bound to trigger his curiosity and interest in you.
5. Don’t put him on a pedestal
You may consider him the perfect match for you. Charming, handsome, and perfect in every sense of the word. But don’t let him know about this.
Don’t let him be the center of your universe. Don’t allow your world to revolve around him. Don’t ever say “yes” to all his demands. Don’t give him all that he wants.
A relationship remains healthy when it is balanced and on an equal footing. Don’t lose your self-respect for the sake of gaining his love. He will respect you for being independent and honest.
6. Don’t use sex for manipulation
If you are thinking of using sex to seduce and get a man to commit, it is going about it the wrong way. This strategy is bound to backfire on you. You are surrendering your free will to allow him to use you. If this doesn’t happen, you will end up lowering your self-image and resenting yourself.
Love and relationship are not only about sex. If you deliberately link it up and make sex a make-or-break instrument in a committed relationship, you will most probably end up on the losing side.
A healthy relationship has multiple dimensions. Explore them all and connect with him at various levels. With this, you are laying the foundation for a strong, long-lasting, and healthy relationship.
7. Don’t neglect yourself
At least some women feel that they need not bother about their appearance once they land a good, healthy relationship. It isn’t nice of you to promise something amazing only to disappoint later on. You have an obligation to deliver on the promise you made to the man.
Whether you want to take care of yourself and your appearance for the sake of your partner or the relationship is your choice. But you should definitely do it for yourself and your self-image. Be as careful in your grooming and looks as you always have been. Nothing more, nothing less. This should do the trick.
8. Don’t break your rules for him
You shouldn’t compromise on the rules you live by, even when you are in a relationship. There is no reason why you should relax your personal rules for this guy. If he respects you at all, he will happily abide by your rules and respect you more for it.
If he is violating your personal rules, let him know about it early on. By staying silent, you are encouraging him to continue with the same unacceptable behavior. Tell him straight without feeling guilty about it. You may add that you love him dearly but this isn’t acceptable and you know that he can do better than that.
9. Put him at ease
If your talk about commitment is making him uneasy, drop the subject for the moment. Do you think you are broaching the subject too early in the relationship?
Even if you have every right to demand a promise of commitment from him, don’t make it too sanctimonious or official. Don’t act too priggish and strait-laced. Don’t make him feel that there is only one answer to your question. Don’t make him lie to appease you if he thinks his honest answer is not what you want from him.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t bring up the topic at all. Do it by all means. But be ready for both answers. And let him know that you are ok even if he says “no”.
10. Set healthy boundaries
These are essential for a strong, healthy, and long-lasting relationship. If you are expecting him to commit to the relationship, make sure that the relationship is built on a strong foundation.
Just the fact that you are in love with him doesn’t mean you should let go of your personal boundaries for him. Along with this, set the ground rules for the relationship as well. Have an open discussion with him to figure out how you can accommodate both viewpoints.
Having clearly defined boundaries and rules not only help in maintaining a cordial relationship but will also be useful in day-to-day life.
11. Activate his hero instinct
Last but not least is triggering the hero instinct in your guy. If you haven’t yet heard about hero instinct, here it is in brief. Hero instinct is the natural tendency in a man to protect and provide for the people he loves. In return, he wants to be acknowledged for his efforts and feel needed.
Hero instinct can do wonders in a relationship. Once it is triggered, a man would do whatever it takes to make you happy. So, how to trigger his hero instinct?
Admire him, respect him, and acknowledge his help. Ask for his help, if need be. To know more about hero instinct and how to trigger it in a man, read this.
Don’t worry. You don’t have to demean or devalue yourself on this account.
Do you want to know more about Trigger a Man’s Hero Instinct? Check His Secret Obsession Review.
You want commitment from him but he is hesitating for his own reasons. While you can use any of the tactics mentioned above to make him commit without pressure, you should also be prepared for his negative reply.
Do you think it is worth losing him over a mere label? Isn’t that what it is?
As long as he is treating you the way you want him to, is there seriously a need for this label?
A healthy relationship is all about accepting and loving each other for who they really are. And, not putting pressure on them to walk the narrow path you dictate to them.
When you begin to pressurize him for commitment, he will assume that that is more your priority. Even more than life with him. You cannot fault him for thinking that you value commitment more than him. That is sure to make him uncomfortable and make him turn rebellious.
Talking about commitment is alright but forcing him into it is wrong on many counts. However, without putting pressure, being invasive or forceful, you can still try to make the man commit quickly just by triggering his hero instinct.