What Happen When the Narcissist Sees You with Someone Else?

7 Things That Happen When the Narcissist Sees You with Someone Else

When the Narcissist Sees You with Someone Else

Did you do the unthinkable? Did you break up with a narcissist?

Then, congratulations are in order. You did something courageous; something very few people manage to do. You had a close call and managed to dodge a bullet. You escaped narcissistic abuse.

Now, what next? You managed narcissistic abuse recovery and moved on. You were fortunate enough to find a normal partner. 

How will you feel or behave when you come across the narcissist? And more importantly, what will happen when the narcissist sees you happy with someone else? How do narcissists feel when you move on?

The narcissist, being a narcissist, most probably, won’t like what they are seeing. When a narcissist realizes they lost you, there is every chance that they will blow the fuse and make a scene. So, be prepared for the worst when you run into the narcissist after a breakup.

This article lists the possible scenarios of what will happen when the narcissist sees you with someone else. Forewarned is forearmed. When you know what to expect, you will be in a better position to counter the aggression.

How Do Narcissists Feel When You Move On?

1. They refuse to believe that you’re happy without them

When the narcissist sees you moving on after the breakup and finding love, they cannot believe it. It’s inconceivable for them that you can manage without them and their love. This feeling will be more intense if they haven’t yet landed another victim for narcissistic abuse to take up your place. 

Narcissists think that they are the best partner you can ever have and they fail to understand why you would ever want to leave them, let alone find another partner. They are so convinced by their superiority that they refuse to believe that you found love elsewhere. They may even persuade themselves into believing that you’re still in love with them and that the person with you is actually a friend.

To prove themselves right, they may stalk you in person, over the phone, or on social media. 

2. They may try to create discord between you

This is something narcissists are very good at. This is part of narcissistic abuse. Triggering conflicts and creating trouble for those who antagonize them. When you walked out on them and the abusive relationship you shared, you became their Enemy No.1. Now, all their focus is on you and on bringing you down. As they can sense that you are happy with someone else, they channel all their energy into hatching plots to break you up.

Narcissists are excellent at making you believe what they want to, despite your solid resistance. They will be nice to you and strike up friendships with you so that they will have easy access to you. They will keep feeding you stories about your new partner. Naturally, in all these stories, this new partner will be shown in poor light. 

The ultimate aim of the narcissist is to develop a poor image of your new partner in your mind. They want you to think less of them. They know that if this image persists in your mind, it will lead to conflicts in the relationship, and finally, you two will break up.

Narcissists seem to enjoy the ring-side view of the drama unfolding in your life that they created.

3. They are jealous of your new partner

The narcissist’s thoughts would be like, “How dare you leave me and have fun with another guy?”

Even when you left them, they were fuming. They felt it as a slap on their face. Their anger is seething and jealousy is overflowing. On top of all this, you appear out of nowhere with a new partner. How can a narcissist tolerate all this?

Jealousy, even in a regular person, can be brutal. When a narcissist is jealous, the consequences are manifold, especially when jealousy is mixed with a good dose of anger. You can expect the worst kind of narcissistic abuse.

When a narcissist sees you with someone else, they would be seething with rage as well as boiling over with jealousy. If you make the mistake of coming across their path, that too with your new partner, not even God can help you. 

The narcissist may hound you with calls and texts, making you wonder whether they are trying to win you back or threaten you. On your part, you can clarify your disinterest in reviving the toxic relationship with the narcissist. There is no point in allowing them to mislead them and think along this path.

How far they will go with their reaction depends on the person. However, try to avoid contact and interactions with your ex-partner and try not to rub it in their face. 

4. They become possessive

When you were together, you must have tasted a fair share of their possessiveness. It is an integral part of a narcissist’s personality. They would want to take control over you, deciding whom you go out with, talk to, or befriend. This is all part of narcissistic abuse.

At the beginning of your abusive relationship with the narcissist, this may have appeared cute and charming. Possessiveness can easily be mistaken for love and care. But now you can see the narcissist for who they really are. And, you can identify their possessiveness as part of their evil scheming. It’s no longer cute for you. 

Moreover, you left the narcissist because their behavior was intolerable to you. Now when you have found new love, their possessiveness is only creating trouble for you. 

When a narcissist spots you with someone else, they will go all out to win you back with texts and calls. They find it hard to accept that you can live and be happy without them. At the same time, they will be disagreeable with your partner, trying to scare them away. 

Unless your new partner understands your situation, you may find it difficult to go ahead with the new relationship. This too will become a toxic relationship.

5. They’ll spread rumors about you

If they can’t have you, nobody else should. That seems to be the mantra of the narcissist now. Narcissists are very good at fabricating stories and lies and spreading rumors. They will try to do a good job with this kind of narcissistic abuse. 

While at it, the narcissist may not spare your partner. They will make them look bad to you as well as to others. And, they will discredit you and your new partner in every possible way they can think of. 

All these efforts of the narcissist are aimed at making themselves look better compared to you and your partner. They cannot tolerate the fact that you managed to break free of the abusive relationship and found happiness with someone else.

When the narcissist sees you with someone else, you can expect rumors to fly thick and fast among your family and friends circle. You can forewarn them about this to avoid confusion.

6. They don’t make any sense 

In their scramble to get you back, the narcissist may be clutching at straws. They may stalk you and at the same time try to discredit you. They will be nice to you and at the same time angry with you. They will start acting erratic and crazy. This is a form of narcissistic abuse.

They will tell you that you mean everything to them. But you know that this is an outright lie. After all, you have been with this person. They will act clingy, but also may accuse you of cheating. Beware that you may run into the narcissist way too often to be considered a coincidence.

All these can be quite tough to deal with.

7. They make tall promises

The narcissist will promise you anything to make you leave your current partner and get you back. They will promise to turn a new leaf and be the kind of person you want them to be. You know very well not to fall for this kind of sweet talk. A narcissist is well-known to be an opportunist.

To get you back, they may make your present partner look bad. This kind of narcissistic abuse is aimed at making themselves look better to you. They may sound so convincing that it is easy to fall for all of them. 

Final thoughts on when the narcissist sees you happy with someone else

How do narcissists feel when you move on?

From hounding you with calls and texts to stalking you, the narcissist will stop at nothing to break up your present relationship and get you back. If this doesn’t work, they’ll act as if none of your actions bother them. If this is not having the desired effect on you, they will act hurt and play victim that you have left them, managed narcissistic abuse recovery, and moved on.

When the narcissist sees you with someone else, they will stop at nothing to make you go back to them. However, be prepared for this situation. Life with a narcissist is hard, but walking away and starting a new life is harder.

Just remember that when you walked out on the narcissist you did the bravest thing. You just need to hold out a little bit more to completely break free. Consider the breakup as good riddance. Focus on your new partner and the budding relationship and be happy for a change.


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