Not everyone you meet likes you and wants to be your friend.
There are people, some even among your so-called “friends”, who are happy when you fail and see your downfall. And, some others are plain evil and are openly hostile to you.
The earlier you recognize and deal with this the better.
What to do when someone is antagonistic towards you? How to deal with such people?
Read on to learn more about this topic. Besides answering the above questions, you will also find here the signs of a malicious and hostile person.
Why are people hostile towards others?
If only everyone followed the simple principle of “live and let live”, the world would have been a better place to live. Since this is not the case, let’s try to figure out the reason behind people’s aggressive behavior.
- Lack of self-esteem and insecurity can make a person act aggressively towards others. They are always trying to prove that they are better than others and you just happen to cross their path.
- You may have criticized them in the past and this triggered anger and the need for vengeance. They use every opportunity to destroy you.
- Some people have a grudge against the world for their own reasons and they just take it out on anyone who they think is successful and doing well in life. And you fit this profile.
- They are angry at someone else and you are merely a means to get back at this person.
- Some people are malicious and aggressive because of the flaws in their upbringing. They truly believe that everyone is out to get them and they are just defending themselves by bringing down others who they see as their rivals.
- Some people are malicious toward others because it makes them feel good.
- They may resort to this behavior because you have something they want.
- They derive pleasure from your misery.
There are as many reasons for hostile behavior as there are hostile people in this world. For each such person, the reason may be unique. However, as the victim of such behavior, you always have the choice to defend yourself against it.
How to detect the signs someone wants to destroy you?
One common feature about people who want to see your downfall and actively try to destroy your reputation is that they know you well. They cozy up to you to get to know you better. Only then they will have enough ammunition and opportunity to destroy you.
Here are some common signs of a malicious person.
- They are toxic and negative people who fail to see goodness in anything or anyone.
- They tend to play the victim card to get your sympathy and get close to you.
- They are always discouraging you from pursuing better opportunities.
- They tend to talk behind your back.
- Their conversations always focus on you, your behavior, and your activities and never on themselves.
- They will assure you that they have your back but desert you, fail to defend you, and even backstab you at every chance they get.
- They don’t wish you well and are not happy for you in real life.
- They play down your successes and achievements.
- They are nice to you only when they want something from you.
- They try to isolate you from your support system.
- They destroy your positivity and confidence by instilling doubts and distrust.
You may even catch them throwing daggers at you and as soon as you notice, they will change it into a sweet smile. People with such evil minds feel that they are entitled to favors from you and if you don’t oblige, they will do everything in their powers to destroy you.
How to deal with someone who wants to destroy you?
No matter how much you want to ignore it or wish it away, some people will think ill of you and enjoy your misery. You need to be mentally prepared to deal with such evil people or else you may end up feeling miserable or even bitter.
Here are some suggestions on how to handle evil people with sadistic tendencies.
1. Disagree respectfully
People with toxic personalities tend to twist every situation and word to suit their purpose. They may get angry and abusive when you disagree with them. Don’t let their aggression get the better of you. Stand your ground and respectfully disagree.
It is important for you not to get excited, aggressive, or angry. They may get upset and throw tantrums but this may save you from similar future episodes.
2. Disregard their behavior
Toxic people are used to constantly complaining, ridiculing, and insulting others behind their backs. Even if you have a grudge, don’t join the chorus and make a show of it. Your ideal response should be not to get involved at all.
You may say, “It’s so sad that you had such an experience”. Or you may excuse yourself from the discussion citing work commitments.
3. Make them aware of their behavior
If you feel it is worth the trouble, you can talk to them about how their negative behavior is affecting you. Often, it is their inadequacies and insecurities that come out as toxic behavior.
You can ask them whether they are aware of how damaging and unacceptable their behavior is. Do they hurt others because it gives them pleasure? Maybe they never realized how their behavior is affecting others and your suggestion can serve as an eye-opener.
4. Prioritize your needs
Not all toxic behavior needs to cause hurt or be abusive. When someone behaves like a leech, it can also cause you harm. They cling to you to satisfy their needs. You keep giving and they continue to sponge on you, exploiting your big-heartedness. This is not a good situation to be in.
You may continue to support this evil person because you value the relationship. However, this kind of behavior is emotionally draining for you as you consider yourself directly responsible for their well-being. If you are giving at the risk of incurring a loss, you should take steps to end it. A healthy relationship always involves giving and taking.
5. Learn how to say “No”
Irrespective of the kind of relationship, it is important that you have the choice to say “no” to something you are uncomfortable with or don’t like. It is a common behavior among toxic people to manipulate others to do what they want, even against their wishes.
You can try to make excuses as a first step. If the person is not getting it, you should say it outright. This is vital for your mental health and well-being.
6. Make yourself sparse
Toxic people always approach the easily available person. If you are not available for them to contact you, they may move on to others and spare you. In some contexts like workplaces, this is especially effective. You can always find many excuses to avoid such evil people.
7. Prompt them to seek help
If this is someone you care about and want them to get better, you can talk to them about how their behavior is affecting others and how they are losing out on friends because of their behavior. Impress them that they need to change for their own well-being as well as that of others.
You can offer help if they want someone to talk to. If this is not acceptable to them, tell them getting professional advice will help them get over the problem.
What to do when someone tries to ruin your reputation?
Spreading lies and false stories about you is a common thing a gossiping person will do. They are unconcerned about how their act is damaging your reputation.
Here are some suggestions on how to tackle such a person.
- Share nothing about your life with them.
- When they prod you about your life, turn the tables on them. Ask them about their life.
- Keep distance from them or if necessary, cut them off.
- Be careful about sharing information with common friends.
If you are the victim of such a toxic person, the best way to deal with the situation is to cut them off from your life. However, this may not always be possible.
You can follow the suggestions given here to wrest back control over your life.